In 5,4,3,2,1...

CHRISTMAS!!! Wow, it's pretty much official now, I'm a nerd! Ladies, this week has not been my shining moment as far as this lifestyle change is concerned. I am unhappy to report that I even ate out (on Friday they bought Chinese take-out for those of us who drug our asses into work). I've been eating too much and not eating the healthiest of things. Unfortunately my holiday spirit is interfering with the spirit of our mission. I'll admit it, at first this really, REALLY bothered me. I was doing so well and then the holidays hit and I fell off of the bandwagon. What's wrong with me?!?!? As I pondered that question it dawned on me. I don't think there is anything wrong with me, or you Jenny or you Leann. We are still learning. We can't take a lifetime of questionable/bad eating and health choices and do a complete 180 in 3.5 months. If we expect perfection out of ourselves or eachother, we're just setting ourselves up for failure and disappointment. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying this because I'm giving up or want either of you to give up yoursleves or let me off the hook for doing poorly. I'm just saying that we're still amatures and need to have goals that are realistic for our current situation. I've already been dreading my trip back home because I know I won't be perfect but it stops today. I barely get to see my family and I refuse to spend the whole time beating myself up because of the fact that I over eat or make less than healthy choices at times. My Christmas goal has shifted. I'm going to try to spend my holiday focusing on the good choices that I make instead of the mistakes I make. Only eating one dessert...yay! Eating too many tortilla ham wraps, not wise but something to work on. I read this article yesterday about how heavy eaters feel more pressure, like they're being judged when they eat in social situations, especially at the holdiays and it's true. I already feel like my eating habits are being scrutinized by everybody else, I don't need to become my own worst critic.

Now, in order to compensate for the increased calorie content, I play to kick up the physical activity. I have already promised my nephew that we would go sledding everyday that we're together...that is some serious exercise, lugging myself, 2 kids and at least 2 sleds up a hill all day. My sister has also promised to walk with me while we're at our parents house. They live in the country so a quick jaunt around the block is over 2 miles! I know this doesn't negate the fact that I over eat but it helps keep things in balance!

Ok ladies...I have to get to my breakfast, laundry and caramel corn (I'm giving it all away!) so I should go. Once I leave home I won't have access to the internet, or at least I don't think I will, so if I don't talk to you before then, have a very merry Christmas!

T-Minus 7 days til Christmas

Hey ladies:

Well I almost didn't go to Weight Watcher's today. But I talked myself out of that line of thinking since I won't be attending any meetings until January. I'm excused from attending meetings because they take place on Thursdays and the next two Thursdays are holidays. I might attend a meeting in Decorah on the 30th though just to keep myself in check. I was unhappy with my eating but managed to only gain 0.4 lb since last week. I tried to fix things the last couple days so I think that helped a lot.

So my next topic today is....popcorn. I really wish I liked it more. Gavin and I have made it the past two nights. I wanted something to fill me up and tide me over so I wouldn't snack all night. The thing is, I really don't enjoy popcorn that much. I know a lot of people that love it but I practically have to force myself to eat a bowl. We don't put butter on it (to keep it healthy plus I hate butter). I have Macaroni and Cheese topping for it and its decent.

So the main topic for WW today was "plan for holiday success". You need to meet, move, eat, and think over the holidays. Obviously meeting refers to WW meetings but I think it could also pertain to our communications over this blog. The one that stands out to me is thinking. I really need to think before I eat massive meals and Christmas goodies. Will I truly be hungry when I'm consuming that food? Or will I eat it simply because it's there on the table?

They actually shared a good recipe today too. If you like Almond Joy candy bars ( I love them), then you should like this:

Almond Joy Pudding

1 package of fat-free, sugar-free instant fudge pudding
2 cups of skim milk
1 cup quick oats (not cooked)
1 tsp coconut extract
1/2 tsp almond extract

Mix pudding and milk together until smooth. Add uncooked oats. Add extracts. Chill. Enjoy
Makes 4 servings....only 2 points for Weight Watchers.

I also received my January issue of Reader's Digest and it's main story is "13 Things No One Ever Tells You About Weight Loss". Here are the 13 things...I'll probably expand my thoughts on some of them later in a different blog entry.

1. Being overweight IS genetic (the FTO genome marker is related to type 2 diabetes and fat mass)
2. Some people just have more fat cells than others
3. You CAN change your metabolism
4. Stress fattens you up
5. Your mom's pregnancy affects your weight
6. Sleep More, Lose More
7. Your spouse (or significant other's) weight matters
8. A virus can cause obesity (this one seems crazy!)
9. Cookies (and other junk foods) really are addictive
10. Ear infections can taint your taste buds
11. Antioxidants are also anti-fat
12. Pick a diet, any diet (they all seem to have the same 4 rules: consume carbs in the form of whole grains and fiber, avoid trans fat and saturated fat, eat lean protein, and fill up on vegetables and fruits).
13. You can be fit and fat (I love this one....my thesis pertains to this point)

Hey Nicole....Steven Blair was a big influence in this article...are you familiar with him?

Ok ladies, that's enough for now!

Butternut Squash is Grrrrrrrreat!

Well not to be pessimistic, but the last two days haven't been so hot. Nothing has triggered my poor eating....I'm just in a lazy, "oh well" kind of mood. I haven't counted my points very well at all. I really wanted to lose enough weight to reach the 15 pound point at Weight Watchers so I'd have a nice even weight to maintain over the holidays. Hopefully I can make a difference by being wise tomorrow and Wednesday.

My boss had a dinner tonight for her grad students. The food was so good! The roasted vegetables were the best. She had the best combination of onions, tomatoes, and butternut squash. She also fixed a pork roast and a great salad. The dessert was so rich....turtle pie. It was my first turtle pie and I couldn't believe she made it herself. The dessert probably didn't help my diet LOL.

Anyway, I felt like tattling on myself. I've been eating when I'm not truly hungry. My physical activity is still rather low. And like I said before, I'm not counting my daily point values. I woudn't be horribly worried about that except I'm not listening to my hunger and not making wise choices. I've purposely been keeping non-appealing junk food in the house that only Gavin likes...but now I find myself eating it even though I don't care for it much. Little Debbie cakes are the main culprit. I hate those things. Occasionally I like Star Crunches but the rest of the stuff isn't that great. I've also been eating normal food in inappropriate portions. Blah. Alright, enough tattling for now....I hope you are having better luck than me!

Bah humbug...

I suck! Obviously not in general, I feel as though I am a delightful friend and companion but when it comes to keeping on track I must say...not good. I feel like I was doing so well. I was at 301.5 the morning before I left for my thanksgiving sojourn to Iowa and I am officially back to 307.4 as I type. Humbug I say...sorry, I watched my favorite Christmas movie Thursday night and I have Scrooge in my head! I have no excuse except for the fact that I am sucking right now. I'm lazy, unmotivated, bored, lazy, homesick...did I mention lazy?!?!? I too have made Jenny's discovery that I've been doing fewer dishes this past week. However, my dish decrease is coming from the fact that I cooked one night this week, ONE, and ate out (well technically in) the rest of the week...double humbug! My physical activity has consisted of me walking up and down my steps to get to my car or apartment and walking down the hill to work and back up the hill to the bus. At this rate I should honestly forget my goal of 300 0r less by new years and just pray the God that I'm not back at 321 when 2009 rolls around!

Although giving up until after Christmas/New Year's seems so easy, I'm not going to do that and I'm not going to forget my goal...that would be ridiculous. I don't need to change my goal I just need to change my path, my way of thinking/acting (much like Scrooge does at the end of the movie...see I can keep this theme going). First and foremost I cannot eat out anymore. I only have 1.5 weeks until I leave for Christmas and it will be home-prepared meals until that day. I also need to start listening to my body again and eating when, and only when my body is truly, phyisiologically hungry. Third, I need to pick up my activity level. I always feel better when I'm doing some sort of exercise. It doesn't have to be a lot but it has to be something. I've been doing really well with drinking water...I make myself drink at least 4, 16 oz. glasses of water each day at work so that's great. I need to make sure I'm drinking as much on the weekends though. And lastly, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I knew moving out to Michigan would be hard, and I don't think I've made a good enough effort to enjoy life out here by myself. I whine about being alone but all I do is go to work and sit at home. I need to look into doing something. Joining a church, a community group, a book club...I am so not picky anymore. I just need to do something! No more humbugging for this girl. I am, from here on out happy Scrooge!

T'was a good day at Weight Watchers.....

The computers were working correctly!!! I am down 1.8 lbs. I guess I was 269.8 lbs last week so I'm right at 268 labs. I would like to be at 260 lbs in the middle of January. My next weight goal is is to be at 260 lbs by January 15th.

Weight Watchers is adopting a new program, the Millennium Program. Things aren't much different from the previous program. Stuff just looks fancier and there are a few changes with Point values and food choices. I am starting to develop some worry about eating around the holidays. I do really well in Ames where I control what's in my apartment. My mom usually has a stash of chips or other goodies so I give into temptation more often at her home. The buffet style meals at family gatherings can also be troublesome. If I would just track what I ate, I think I'd be ok. But it's so easy to discard that habit when I'm at home and forget about it while I'm enjoying time with family. I guess I should think positive and not assume that I'll fail. I really want to lose each week....even if it's 0.1 lbs I'll be happy. The 2.6 lbs I gained over Thanksgiving really irritates me.

I made an interesting observation today. Ever since I've adopted the way of WW, I've been doing less dishes. I must have been eating exteme amounts of food months ago because I'd have a lot of pots and pans each night. Housekeeping in the kitchen has been much easier. Not too significant but damn nice.

I started pricing treadmills today too. I believe I will buy one on credit in January and then completely pay it off when I get my tax refund. 2nd Wind Equipment in Ankeny and Des Moines has some decent models that I can afford. Best of all, those models are foldable and have an appropriate weight limit. I just hope delivery is simple, cheap, or even free. I feel somewhat guilty for spending that much money on myself but it's for my health. I guess I will condone it like I condoned buying my bike this year.

Anyway...I hope things turn around and improve this weekend Nicole. I know it's easier said than done but it's mind over matter. Just have to tell yourself that you can do it and persevere. I'm holding you to your goal of getting below 3o0.

Ok, that's enough for now. Happy and Healthy Eating!

Woohoo Post #71

Howdy Ladies.....

It is now 10:26 in the PM and I'm somewhat bored and trying to avoid my kitchen. I'm tempted to do some unnecessary snacking. I've done a good job with drinking water today...I keep downing my HyVee carbonated water coolers. My poor kidneys and bladder are probably wondering "what the hell?" I'm still unhappy about some of my food choices this week...after the department Christmas party on Saturday I ran Gavin through the drive thru at McDonald's since he was starving and I got myself a couple cheeseburgers. At least I avoided the french fries....those are the devil.

I ate at a restaurant/study spot on campus today and made wise choices. The sandwich I got was rather large though but lower in points than I expected. The sourdough bread was the source of most of the points. The only thing I gave in to was a hot drink. And since Starbucks is located in this place I got a small (12oz) white chocolate mocha. I got it with soy milk but agreed to have whipped cream on it. I wanted it to warm up since the place was freezing and I tell you what....that drink wasn't as great as I expected. I have really noticed that the junk I crave usually doesnt taste that great. The cheeseburgers on Saturday were bad....mind you I still ate them, but they sucked. I am starting to crave healthier food regularly but still slip into an evening of binging if I'm not careful.

My exercise has been non-existant. I've been very busy and productive with work but I can't find the ambition to bring exercise clothes to work and do cardio for 30 minutes. It's sad. I'd see much faster results if I'd just get my butt moving. Grrrr!

Alright, enough rambling for now.

Getting back on track II...

Good morning! Today is the first day since I've been back from thanksgiving that I stepped on the scale (and followed the same routine that I usually do for weighing myself). I have had a terrible, TERRIBLE week and I have no excuse except for my own laziness and lack of self-discipline. I was afraid to step on the scale for fear of what it might say, however, that fear was unfounded. Although I ate like crap all week I was at 304.5 today. Granted, it's 2.5 pounds higher than my weight the morning I left for home but I thought it would be SO much higher. I am trying to get myself back on track like Jenny but this weekend was a little hard for me. My dad and step mom had their Christmas this weekend and I didn't realize how much missing it was going to affect me. While we may not always see eye-to-eye I do love them very much and the whole family was there but me. As soon as I was on the phone with my dad last night I was in tears. Now, Leann you might not believe me as I have written in this blog at least twice before that I called home in tears, but I swear to God that I'm not really a mushy/crying type of girl...not that there's anything wrong with it but it's just not me. I was better by the time that we ended the call but I was in a slightly depressed mood the rest of the evening. This is not good when one is trying to not be an emotional eater. BLAH!

Anyway, I am doing much better today. First, it is sunny and I haven't seen the sun since before my miserable drive back to Michigan. Second, all of my Christmas presents are wrapped and my mom's memory/scrapbook is 99% complete...I still don't like the page I did for my brother so I might redo it. Third, last, and most importantly, I get to come home again in 16 days!!!!

Now onto Jenny's question. There are 3 things that I find very difficult to behave around--

1. Almond bark pretzels, especially if they're the thin pretzels. I think it's that whole sweet and salty thing.

2. My homemade caramel corn. It is amazing! Well, I think it's amazing. It's a combination of the best aspects of my mom and step-mom's caramel corns. My mom's caramel recipe poured over puff corn instead of regular pop-corn! It is divine!

3. Chocolate covered cherries...and no, I'm not talking about the Queen Anne's Cherries that you get in the store. I am talking about my step-mom's homemade cherries. They are quite possibly the greatest thing I have ever put in my mouth. I always eat way too many at the family Christmas (which I don't have the worry about this year, which as far as losing weight goes is a good thing) and then she makes goodie trays for us each year and puts 3 on there.

I am going to try my damnedest (don't know if that's actually a word) to behave myself around these goodies this holiday season. The cherries are a self-limiting threat as there will only be three. I simply will not make any pretzels and hope that my mom doesn't either. There will be a handful of them on my goodie tray from Shirley so I'll get to indulge a little there. The caramel corn is the bigger issue. I'm making a big batch of it now and will probably make one more before I head for home. It's inexpensive and a great gift idea for co-workers and the like. I just have to keep it out of sight once it's made. I will keep a small bag of it out for me and try your idea Jenny, marking a date that it has to last until. It worked well with the chocolates I bought 3 weeks ago (which I marked with today's date and I still have 2 left!) so I'll see if it works with baked goods as well. As for your homemade fudge issue Jenny, I have never had that problem. Even now with my heightened sweet tooth, I still cannot eat fudge. It is just too rich for me. Shirley always puts way more fudge on our trays than anything else. It's good but it's bad. It's good because I never eat it but I feel bad that she goes to the work to make it for us.

Well, sorry about the long really random blog entry today. I hope that the Christmas spirit touches us all and lifts our moods. I am getting back to work and still hoping to reach my goal of 300 by new years! My shoulder is back to 100%, I think...at least there are no stabbing pains with instant headaches anymore so I'm going to not only get back to eating well but I'll also be adding exercise back in! Good luck with your week ladies!

Getting back on track....

Well Weight Watchers was interesting this week. They are using a computer system now for signing in and measurement. I stepped on the scale and the lady announced "Wow, you lost 2.4 lbs!" I didn't believe it and looked closer at my weight. I think it said 268.9 which is more than what I weighed before Thanksgiving (267.2 lbs I think). They kept my paperwork so I don't have my usual pamplet to check for my weights. I guess the computer was registering gains as loses. Not cool because for a split second....it gave me some hope. But hey, I could have gained a lot more. I had expected to be 270 or more.

I did somewhat binge last night though. They had fancy licorice on sale at Hy-Vee (the kind from Australia) so I indulged. I also got a small portion of the cheesy potatoes from the deli. Ever since I attended our church's Christmas program my mood has been down. I'm not horribly sad or depressed but I'm thinking about my fiance a lot and trying to fix that with food. I made a batch of vegetarian chili today though that will help me with my snacking. A serving is 2 points and I added in an extra kind of beans (black beans) so it's very filling. I also did some much needed cleaning and got the rest of the decorations up for the holidays.

I really wish I had more motivation to exercise. I'm so paranoid about walking outside now thanks to ice. I wish treadmills cost a nickel. LOL I'm also starting to worry about the goodies that I enjoy around Christmas. Gavin is anxious to make our cornflake wreaths and they are so good! My only strategy is to make only half the amount as last year so we get our fix but don't over do it. Or I could just give away half the regular batch. I've been buying Lite Eggnog so that's cut back on the fat and it still tastes good too. My family will make popcorn balls when we are home but I'm not so worried about those. I'll eat one or two and be good for the season. They aren't my favorite. Any holiday goodies that worry you ladies? I guess homemade fudge is also a worry of mine but I'm rarely exposed to it.

Until the next blog....

Tis the season...

Happy Wednesday ladies! I am happy to report that I have fully recovered from the most horrid drive back to Michigan on Sunday. My entire 550 mile trip was rainy/slushy/snowy with crappy visibility. The trip took 4 hours longer than usual and I was mentally exhuasted when I got home. I'm feeling refreshed now and I'm not nearly as moody...go me! What hasn't recovered is my eating habits. I was doing so well before I left and I actually wasn't terribly naughty over the holiday but since Monday I have been ravenous. I'm getting back on track but it's a work in progress. My shoulder is still killing me so I haven't had any motivation to work out but I plan on checking out the 'gym' here at my apartment once I'm feeling up to it. I'd write more tonight but quite frankly I feel lazy so I will have to end here.

Good luck with the rest of your week ladies!

Welcome December!

Not exactly sure why I gave my title an exclamation point because I'm not a fan of the upcoming weather. Anyone else drive with idiots on highways and interstates this weekend? I sure did on I35. Oh well, it pays to be a defensive driver.

Well it was fun to hang out and eat some good food in Gunder! The weather back to Waukon was fine.....it stopped snowing halfway there as we traveled on Highway 9. Hopefully things weren't too yucky for you Nicole and the others.

I am not pleased with my eating since Thursday. I didn't do bad at Thanksgiving. However, I would have done better if my cousin's wife had not made cheesecake! God it was good! I am unhappy with the junk food binge I took part in most nights at my parents. We went through so many bags of chips! And they weren't even chips I liked!!! I also bought snacks when we shopped on Friday so in ingested Combos and cinnamon bears. I forgave myself for my meal at Red Lobster though. I got a big fancy Red Passion Colada that was probably 60 points but dammit it was my birthday and I wanted alcohol. I did better on Saturday and Sunday but still did unnecessary snacking. I really need to keep myself in check during Christmas break. I did what I usually do with weight watchers and let myself slip one day and said "screw it" and let numerous days go by without counting points. In the past, I would quit Weight Watchers now but nope....not gonna do it.

With that being said, I'm scared to see my weight on Thursday. I feel like I gained 5 lbs. Hopefully it's not that bad but it's sad that I've set my self back more from my 20 lbs goal. Needless to say, I'll be kicking myself on Thursday after standing on the scale.

Ok, enough ranting for now....

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Hey ladies, I thought I would stop in one final time before I leave for the great state of Iowa tomorrow!!! First, I just want to say that I am so thankful for your support and help. I have never really done this well with my weight loss attempts in the past and I know that a large part of that is because you are both here to listen, offer advice and share your struggles as well. I am also thankful for my family and health. This has been an excellent year and I think things are just going to be getting better! Second, I have some good news. I think I finally convinced my sister to join our blogging efforts. What I really like about this blog is that we're all doing things a little differently and we can share insights from our own personal experiences. Karla is considering the lapband procedure and is in the inital phase which is nutritional counseling. If she is able to make positive changes in her weight/health in the next 6 months she hopes to be able to skip the procedure all together. I know that she has learned a lot of helpful tips since she started the counseling that I think we can all use. I'll let her tell you more about her story when she writes but she is a store manager for McDonalds so I'm sure you can understand the kind of challenges she faces on a daily basis. However, I have one thing to ask you before she starts. The reason that Karla hasn't started blogging is because she is very nervous to write. She is a terrible speller (she's dyslexic) and is very self-conscious about the fact. I told her that neither one of you would care or make fun of her but she asked me to ask you to be kind just in case. So, not that I have to tell you but I just want to comply with my sisters wishes.

Ok, have a great holiday and I will see/talk to you soon!!

Good news and thanksgiving!

Hey ladies. I hope that your weekends are going well and that you've had success with eating, exercising and/or life in general. I'm still working hard to reach my goal of being under 300 by new years and let me tell you I had a great experience this morning. I usually don't weigh myself more than once a week but I was curious this morning. I struggled all day yesterday trying to only eat when I was truly hungry. It's not always easy to resist (I'm sure you know that feeling all too well). Although temptation was there, I have oreos, wheat thins, peppermint bark and a cinnamon crunch bagel from panera in my apartment right now, I was able to behave myself. Before I got in the shower this morning I decided that I'd step on the scale just to see what it said; much to my surprise I was at 305! I haven't been able to get below 307 since we've started blogging and working with eachother. I was so happy. I know for the average person weighing 305 pounds wouldn't be an exciting event but it means that the hard work and LOADS of self-discipline are working. This bit of good news came at just the right time also. I was feeling really frustrated last night because of the cravings I'd been having lately (it's been especially bad the last 2 weeks because my period is that far overdue and my hormones are all out of whack) and even though I overcame the desire to gorge on everything here it was so hard some of the time. I will be totally honest with you, when I have that strong of a desire to do something I know is bad I almost feel a bit pathetic, more than a bit in all actuality. I can't believe that I've let food develop such a hold on me. Of course this type of thinking turns into a viscious cycle...I'm upset so I eat to console myself and then I develop a stronger bond with food, then I gain weight and then I get even more upset...see where I'm going with this? Anyway, getting a little closer to my first real, numeric goal is really, really invigorating! I've done really well with eating today, I'm actually getting hungry right now and will have a snack when I get done typing this message. I also got in a 25 minute workout. It's not a hardcore workout by any means but I got my heart rate up and did some light resistance training. They say every journey starts with a single step, I guess I'll have to add some more steps in here soon though if I want the journey to continue.

So, good news covered now onto thanksgiving. In this blog we are focusing on, quite possibly, the biggest struggle in our lives at the moment...our weight. I know that it is so easy to get discouraged and frustrated and see the negative in things. I do it, we all do. So, to get in the spirit of things I think it would be nice for us to think about the things that we are truly thankful for and share these thoughts with eachother. If you'd like to, sometime before Wed (that's when I leave and I'll no longer have internet access until I'm back in Michigan) let me know what you're thankful for (Leann, if you'd like to do this you can comment on our blog or post it on yours).

Alright ladies...back to laundry and packing.

Cheers!

Disappointed but not discouraged!

Well ladies....I don't know what the hell I was thinking last night! We went to Panera to hang out with a friend. Gavin and I got supper there.....I had a bowl of my usual cheddar broccoli soup and half of a turkey artichoke panini. I made sure to drink water instead of getting my desired hot chocolate. We ran some errands afterwards. Rented some movies and I had to buy ink cartridges for my stupid printer. Well I had a craving for ice cream so I went to the ice cream store designed by the devil: Coldstone Creamery. I was kind of proud of Gavin though. He got ice cream for the first time. He usually gets sorbet and barely eats it. He got a "Love It" size of chocolate with oreo. I also got a "love it" size of coffee ice cream with almonds added. But to top it off, we were sent home with samples of their new ice cream pies.

So we came home and ate our ice cream and started watching movies. I proceeded to eat a container of chili. I also munched on some cheese. I kept thinking I had to eat so I mindlessly snacked. Grrr. After working this morning, Gavin and I went to "The Cafe". I just felt like going out to eat again. I knew I could make something good at home but nope...let's spend some money I don't have. I got their Mac 'n Cheese and almost ate it all. I felt so horrible because I ate too much. I serious felt ill when we drove home. But that's not the worst of it. I bought dessert and brought it home. I just ate 1/4 of it. I saw the tiramisu and thought I'd like to eat it later. It tastes good but I could have done without. At least I didn't scarf it all down.

Weight Watcher's warns people to watch out for binging or careless eating during holiday weeks. Even though I'm aware that it happens, I still let myself eat unwisely in the last 24 hours. I'm so disappointed. But hey, I will count my points the rest of the day and for the days up to Thanksgiving. I also HAVE to listen to my hunger. I'm overeating and my body is telling me to knock it off by making me feel sick. I wasn't even very hungry at lunch and I tried to eat the whole meal. Grrr again!

I am better than this! I know I can maintain my weight this week!

Random thoughts on a Saturday morning...

Good morning ladies! I just have to say that today started with an absolutely GORGEOUS morning!!! I was in bed last night by 11:20 which lead to me being wide awake at 7:00 this morning. Normally I get really frustrated about this but I was refreshed and just a touch on the warm side so I decided, what the hell, might as well get up. The sun was just starting to rise and I noticed something that seemed quite odd to me when I looked out my window...I still have ducks!! Shouldn't' t these little guys have migrated by now? Anyway, I thought about all of the ways that I could spend my early morning hours and decided that the thing that would make it the best would be to bundle up and go for a walk (I love, love, LOVE chilly walks)!!! As it was a wopping 20 degrees (felt like 13 with windchill) I threw on my long underwear (and don't laugh, every good Iowa girl should have a pair), jeans, cami, long sleeved tee, sweatshirt, fleece, mittens and scarf; grabbed my iPod and I was out the door. It was amazing! The air smelled so clean and fresh and it was just a bit on the nippy side...the perfect start to my day. (Side note: as I was getting ready for my walk I looked down at my hand and noticed that my ring had been moved. Apparently in my sleep last night I decided that the ring I always wear on my right hand should reside on my left...it's too weird though so I'll have to change that back).

Now, onto weight loss...after all, it is the main reason for this blog. I have been bad this week ladies. I stuck to my goal of eating something for lunch everyday this week which is good but I didn't do so well for dinners. I don't want to make excuses so I'm not going to. I think part of my problem is that I'm so overweight right now that I have a really hard time seeing this weight loss/lifestyle change thing working. In my head I have my final goal of 100 pounds and it seems unreachable. When I realize that right now it's unreachable I give up. I CANNOT do that. I will not let myself or you down like that. As soon as one of us gives up I feel like it allows the rest of us to do so. I won't be the start of that. When I frantically scrawled my last post on here I was thinking about this a lot. I need to stop looking at the big picture...shocking, I know. I am such a big picture girl (if you were ever in a complex class or research group with me you'd know this). In school big picture is good, in a lifestyle change, not so much. I have decided that setting short term goals is how I need to approach my lifestyle change. This is why I have my 300 by 2009 campaign going. This morning I am going to make some signs to put on my fridge and cupboard that will remind me of my goal. It might work, it might not but in the very least it can't hurt.

Lastly, I have decided that I absolutely MUST drink more water. I was reading an article about diet pop again and it's just not the greatest thing to be drinking. Granted, I have one, maybe two cans per day but that is still not good. I have a pitcher in my fridge and my goal for the week (or today through Tuesday) is to drink one pitcher of water per day. This shouldn't be difficult for me as I love water.

OK ladies, that's all I've got for now and my cream of wheat is just sitting there looking so lonely. Have a great day and I can't wait to see/meet you both next weekend!!!

My holiday goal...

So, ladies. I have lots a grand total of 15 pounds since we've started this blog. It's great but I haven't lost any additional weight in the last few weeks. Fortunately I haven't been gaining but I haven't been losing either. I am getting tantilizing close to being under 300 and that makes me so happy. So, my goal, to give myslef the best Christmas present I can think of is to lose 7 pounds by New Years. I am going to have to watch what I eat like a hawk...starting right now and work out every day but I can do this. I am going to need lots of help though so it's your special job ladies to keep me motivated!

Ok, I will write more this weekend but I wanted to let you know what I was thinking right now!

Cheers!

Greetings ladies!

Well it was a Weight Watcher's day so it's time to add my 2 cents to this blog. I had a successful week...I am down another pound. I was hoping to hit my 15 lbs weight loss this week but I'm a little bit shy of that number. My goal for next week is to maintain my weight, I am not going to focus on losing. However, it would be nice to lose at least 0.2 and reach that 15 lbs goal. I didn't learn or hear anything earth shattering at WW but the leader had one good point. It is is important to monitor three things this week. You need to watch WHAT you eat and HOW OFTEN you eat. Yea I can't remember the third thing at the moment. Serves me right for not writing it down.

We basically looked at point values for all the common Thanksgiving foods so we understand portion control better. I already knew not to eat a ton of mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. Pumpkin pie really surprised me though. It is 9 points per slice! Makes me happy that I don't like pumpkin. I have already decided that I won't keep track of my points that day but I'll listen to my hunger so I never get that "holy crap I'm stuffed" feeling.

She also warned us about the grazing that takes place before and after the meal. There seems to be a magnetic field between humans and the bowls of munchies that are set out. I'm not even sure what my family will have sitting out but I'll have to really think before I reach for snacks. A lot of people also overeat on Thanksgiving and it carries through Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I REALLY don't want that to happen. Luckily I'll be really busy on my birthday and walking around a lot but I don't want the weekend to turn into a huge binge. I really don't think it will.

It would be nice to add in some activity when in Waukon besides speed walking during the shopping at 5am Friday morning. I'm hoping my mom will go on some walks or maybe I can get over to the new recreation center.

So ladies....what Thanksgiving foods are a must for you? I personally have to eat stuffing (I really like my Grandma Stika's homemade stuffing) and mashed potatoes. I'm not a huge turkey person but I'll eat a piece of white meat. I also dig cranberry sauce. I don't care for turkey gravy so I'm assuming I'll eat the potatoes with nothing on them. I'm fine with that. I also love green bean casserole. I have no idea what the menu is for the meal though....maybe some of the usual stuff won't be there. We are planning to make slush though. We haven't had that at a Stika gathering for a long time and I'm really looking forward to it. I have to remember that alcoholic drinks add up too calorie wise. But you gotta love rum or whatever else is in the concoction!

Sorry ladies...

Not an excuse just simple fact. This week has been crazy and I haven't had time to blog. I am doing well with food...not so much exercise but hopefully by this weekend I will be back on track. Stay strong and I'll give you more later....promise!

Living and learning some more.....

Well, I'm unhappy with my eating since Friday. I rewarded myself on Thursday since I lost weight. Thursday is typically the day when I use some of my extra points. (weight watchers gives you an extra 35 points to use as you wish during the week in addition to your daily points.) I did very well all throughout Friday night until I ate some cookie dough later in the night. Yesterday (Saturday) sucked in regards to my willpower. I did fine in the morning but overate slightly at lunch. I felt like I needed to polish off some tuna casserole. We went out of town for the rest of the day and ate at a diner. Part of me wanted to just get the salad bar but I saw that a lot of the salads had mayo in them (pasta salads, etc.) plus the only soup they offered was cheddar broccoli. So, I went with my gut since I was hungry and got chicken tenders with.......french fries! The meal also came with salad bar so still ate some of the not so good choices offered. I knew I shouldn't get the fries but I did and oh god they were good. Well, apparently the meal (primarily the french fries) is like a gateway food for me because I came home and kept eating. I know I went way over my 35 point daily limit for Weight Watchers. I wasn't necessarily eating junk food but I kept munching on cheese curds, fiber one bars, etc. Blah.

I did okay today though. I wrote down my food intake. I'm so happy that I bought some sour dough bread, turkey, and veggies for sandwiches because they have been so filling yet low in points. So back to Saturday.....I mentioned that french fries are a gateway food. Hehe, kind of like a gateway drug. It's like when I eat them....I lose all focus and say "oh screw it" and eat what I want and eat way too much! Basically any kind of appetizer sets me off.....cheese balls, nachos, etc. If I eat something yummy like that, it triggers me to keep eating like that throughout the meal (and after). Further proof that I need to avoid those foods for awhile until I have more control and a better handle on my eating behavior. I don't want to shut those foods out forever but I obviously can't indulge until managing my portions is habitual.

So are there any foods that do this to you? Anything that triggers unhealthy eating?

Annnnd....break!

Sorry, thought I'd stick the football theme for my title today. I didn't blog last night because I had SO much going on. I'm working on a scrapbook for my mom and it's quite difficult to do anything involving my hands (such as typing) when they're covered in paint, glue, glitter and tea (I'm using different colored teas to dye some of the paper).

Anyway, Jenny I am so glad that you had a positive experience at WW yesterday. It makes it a lot easier to stay on track when we have positive results from our efforts. I stepped on the scale and I'm still right where I've been for about 2 weeks now. I need to get back to really listening to my hunger and I think I will continue to lose. I didn't work out last night because I did a lot of squats in my workout on Wed and they about did me in. I can tell that I haven't been doing much of anything lately because my legs were so sore last night, especially my inner thighs (which is not a comfortable place to be sore). I still have some residual soreness so I'm just going to do a stretching routine tonight and call it good. Ideally I'll be back on track for a workout tomorrow. As horrible as the legs felt it's a good pain though. It's the pain that signifies that I got off of my ass and did something. I intend to keep doing a similar workout, I'll just decrease the reps until I get back to where I want to be.

Ok, ladies...major issue with me. I SUCK at eating. I have skipped lunch this week every day except for Monday. I need to not be doing this. Not only do I come home starving but I am messing up what's left of my metabolism. My problem is that I'm never hungry for what I bring for lunch. All I ever want to do is go to the cafeteria and make a salad or get a sandwhich or pizza or Chinese (we have an amazing cafeteria at our hospital). Not only would most of the food choices there be unhealthy but it's also very expensive. I haven't made a goal in a while but that is going to be my goal for next week. Not only will I continue to do some activity everyday I will also eat lunch everyday, NO EXCEPTIONS!

By the way Jenny, you NEVER have to apologize for listeing to Christmas music early to me. I sometimes get a hankering for it in the summer. It is so comforting and it always makes me think of home. I would listen to it year round but I don't have a wide enough variety.

Alright ladies...dinner time!

Cheers!

Jenny, you never have to apologize to me for listening to

I'm listening to Christmas music and if you don't like it......piss off!

Well today is a good day. I ran! I went running! If you don't believe me....my hamstrings will vouch for it. I'm in some pain but it's worthwhile. Yippee for exercise!

I also went to Weight Watcher's this morning. I have lost 2.2 lbs this week! Journaling my food intake always seems to be a pain in the ass but it's really helping me out. I wish I could embrace it better and not treat it like such a chore. I did my usual reward and got a bowl of Wisconsin Cheese soup along with my deli sandwich for lunch. I might get a small taco pizza tonight from Happy Joe's for supper too. I was tempted to get a medium but come on! Gavin isn't a huge fan (he'll probably have one piece) and I don't need all that food. A small is plenty big and plenty expensive.

I have to commend Nicole on her recent postings. You are a great motivator. I wish I had your energy! I felt much better immediately after reading your recent blog entry. Blogging was such a great idea, I'm so grateful that we do it.

I relate to the situation you described.....going home and starving at the same time. I'm kind of a dork and found a way to remedy that in Ames. I avoid certain streets when driving around after work. I don't let myself go down Lincoln Way so I don't see the signs for Taco John's or any other tasty place. I try to go directly home on residential streets so I don't see visual temptations. I just hate that Jimmy John's is so close to our apartment. I tend to crave their #3 (tuna) and it's high in fat and calories since it has mayo in it. And very wise on the afternoon snack....hopefully that continues to curb your hunger in the evening. Did you know those Fiber One bars are offered at Wal-Mart? A box of 5 is $2.00 and a box of 10 is around $4.50 which I have found is a lot cheaper than most grocery stores. I decided to live a little and bought the strawberry and peanut butter flavors today.

I was impressed with the discussion at Weight Watcher's today. The leader worked football into the message. She immediately grasped my attention. She basically said that success starts with a huddle. You have to communicate with those important to you for support in order to pursue your goal. I guess this blog is part of the huddle. Next she said that you must stick to your game plan. For WW, this means I have to continue journaling my food intake. It also means you continue to do what works....bringing an afternoon snack, not eating out as much, exercising, etc. We all fumble. We all screw up, slip up, snack too much, and don't exercise as much as we should. But like football, we have to grab the ball (our goal) and continue to run in the right direction despite fumbling. Too many people fumble once or twice and think "oh screw it" and don't allow themselves to work through the TEMPORARY failure. With that being said, you must keep your eye on the goal. Despite obstacles, distractions, holidays, etc.....you must remember your short term and long term goals. And finally, believe in your abilities and never quit.

I have started listening to Christmas music already. Yes, I know we haven't had Thanksgiving yet. But I find it soothing, calming, and relaxing. It's nice background noise for me. I've gotten a lot of shit for it lately but it could be worse. I can think of much worse music to be listening to. Happy eating and exercising!

Live and Learn...

I love that sentiment Jenny. I think that's what this whole experiment in lifestyle changing is about. Maybe we should make that our motto. Live and learn. Let me tell you, my whole life has been the living and now I'm trying to look back on it and make some sense. I feel like the blogging aspect of our journey is really, really helpful. Blogging has helped me to come to terms with some of the reasons I have failed in the past. I might not be able to entirely avoid some of these events but I am trying so hard to handle them. Everyday I think, hmmm....what should I eat, what should I do, how will this affect the effort, what will I say to the girls if I fuck up? Tonight is a great example. At work I was starving (something I will address in a minute) and I kept thinking that even though I have a very tastey and good for me casserole at home that I should go to Noodle and Co. and get there Wisconsin Mac 'n Cheese. Then I thought, NO! When I got home I contemplated just heating up my dinner and sticking a movie in and saying screw it to the exercise...and then I thought NO! I need to stop justifying my lazziness. In my head I think, most people take 1-2 days off of working out per week so why shouldn't I?!?!? I'll tell you why, most of these people don't weight 307 pounds and are working out a lot harder than I am right now. Plus, I knew that I would be really sad to write that I got lazy after 2 days...so, I came home and did about 20 minutes of moderate cardio again. And now, I'm tired and really, really, really hungry. But I have to say, I am also very happy!

Jenny, please, please, please don't ever feel like you shouldn't blog when you're struggling. That is actually the most important time to do it I think. I know it sucks to admit it when we are not doing great (seeing as we're strong and independent women) but if nothing else I can offer some moral support! Hang in there lady, you can do it!

Ok, so I have learned something this week that I need to share. I have got to start bringing a midafternoon snack to work with me. I am usually famished when I get home and then I snack while I'm making dinner or I decide that I don't want to wait to make dinner and I grab something (usually full of really yummy but bad things). This is bad. Either way I'm not eating the way I should be. So, from now on I think I'm going to start packing something. I took a banana today and it did the job well so I'll stick with bananas for now, however, I did try those Fiber 1 bars (I got the chocolate ones) and they are AMAZING...a bit on the pricey side but yum!

Anyway, I think my hunger is getting to me so I should stop my rambling and fix that. Head up Jenny, keep that head up!

Still a slacker!!!

First of all, I am so proud of you Nicole. Way to utilize Youtube.....I actually would have never thought about using that avenue for exercise. I didn't exercise today. Again. Dammit. I'm slipping into a steady routine of laziness. I'm napping way too much. Hell I shouldn't be napping at all. Basically I'm staying up way too late at night. I just can't settle and fall asleep like a normal person. Bah.

I'm back on track with my eating too. I'm really focused on losing at least a pound this week. I was so disappointed that I gained last week. I've been tracking my food intake and points so things are good. But yes, things would be progressing nicely if I exercised regularly. My bad habits actually had me avoid blogging. Didn't know what to type since I've been rather pessimistic. I do need to start incorporating new foods though. I'm starting to get sick of the foods I've been eating the last month or so. I still dig tomato soup but I've been eating a lot of portabello mushroom ravioli. I think its time to make more salads with chicken breast and extra veggies. Probably wouldn't kill me to make more home made food and use some Weight Watcher recipes that I get for free online.

Oh well, in the words of Nicole "tomorrow is a new day". I really need to get to the exercise clinic and make use of it. I'm going to really regret not using the free facilities at ISU when I'm shelling out money for gym memberships in the future. Blah! Live and learn....live and learn.

Gotta love Youtube!

So, I have to say that youtube is making it much easier for me to get my ass in gear and do some physical activity. I found some really decent aerobic mixes to do some cardio to here at home. It's not as cool as some of the coreography that aerobics instructors use but it gets my heart rate up and I always feel good when I work out. I only did 20 minutes today but I figure start slow and work my way up!

Well, it's a start...

So, I just got done with my 'work-out' for today. I got in about 20 minutes of moderate cardio mixed in with some light resistance training. I know it's not great but it is a start that I'm quite pleased with. I would love to write more and leave you all in awed amazement but I'm incredibly hungry and there is pasta and salad calling my name!

Slackers all...

Jenny, I'm calling us out. I feel that we have been slackers on our blog and our eating the last half of this week! I know that last night we were both nursing our emotions by eating things that were probably not the greatest things to be eating. However, today is a different day and we've nursed our wounds and now we MUST move on!

First and foremost a little praise...it's always good form to begin on a positive note! You seem to have good control of your eating for this stage in the game. Sure there are mishaps but for the most part you are making healthier choices and eating at appropriate times. I'm also doing well with the exception of about 2 days per week...which I'm working on. We're still in the initial stages of this and considering the fact that neither one of us has given up we're doing better than expected. Over 50% of people drop out of exercise/diet plans in this initial stage...I remember from Dr. Franke's class...we are WAY above the cut! Kudos to us! There is still a long journey ahead of us but at least we're on the right road and pointed in the right direction!

Now, I feel compelled to address an issue that we have both skirted around since we started this blog and concurrently our lifestyle change. Phyiscal activity. We've both noted the fact that we need to engage in more physical activity, which couldn't be anymore true. However, my dear, I don't think that we've actually mustered up enough gumption to make this a permanant part of our daily routines (I know I haven't and from our talks it doesn't sound like you have either). As lifestly change and blog buddies we need to come up with a way to effectively encourage one another to get our asses off the couch and do some exercise. Now, I don't know if this is a good or a bad thing (I tend to be a glass is half-full kinda girl myself) but due to our current physical conditions small, regular increases in physical activity will allow us to see weight loss. If you've ever had the privillege of reading studies that concerned training (whether it be cardio, weight, balance, flexibilitly etc.) those who have more room for improvement will see more change much more quickly (initially at least). If we can find a way to motivate ourselves to engage in activity I don't think we would see such platueauing in our weight loss attempts. More importantly, if this is truly a lifestlye change and not just a diet, making daily physical activity a part of our lives is something that will make us healthier and happier in 50 years. I don't know about you but I would love to be one of those 76 year olds who is still raising hell.

So, lets put our thinking caps on about this. There has to be a way that we can hold eachother accountable for activity even with this crazy distance. Hell, I'll go out and buy a headset for my phone and a Richard Simmons DVD for us both and we can sweat to the oldies together!

Let them have their pot!!!

I too am so excited that Obama won the race and will be our next president. I really hope that he is able to make some changes for the better. And yes, the state of Michigan did legalize the medicinal use of marijuana!

I LOVE Lane Bryant's Right Fit pant line. I was never able to buy pants that fit me appropriately. They either fit me in the legs and were super tight around the waist (producing that really sexy tire look) or they fit around in the waist and they are baggy in the ass (producing that really sexy I just dropped a load look). I have absolultey no figure so the yellow straight cut pants are PERFECT! It has taken some getting used to when it comes to the sizes and I really, REALLY dislike the variation of size between colors though. It's a bit disheartening to know that someone who weighs 50 pounds more than me wears the same size of jeans as me simply because I wear the yellow (the smallest cut) and she wears a red. It's not really a huge deal but just something to think about.

So, I have been very, very naughty this week. Work has been stressing me out because people are have been so cranky. The bitchiness is such a downer for me because I'm generally a happy go lucky kind of gal. I've definitly been drowning my sorrows in food. Also, my period is late so I'm having terrible cravings. I have decided to do a fast tomorrow. I feel like I really need to get back to a truly hungry state. I know that some people are really against fasting but every once in a while it's kind of refreshing. I need to get my ass back in gear and I think this will be a great way do it.

History has been made!!!

Hello...well I'm thrilled that Barack Obama has won the presidency. I really hope this initiates some change in our country next year because our nation obviously needs it badly. Did Michigan legalize pot Nicole? I wish Iowa voted about cool stuff like that.

So I have done a rotten job of journaling my food intake. I cannot remember the last time I wrote down my point usage so that means for weeks I don't know how much I'm eating throughout the day. I do listen to my hunger though so that helps me stop eating at night when I'm not truly hungry. Being that I'll have less points to use as I lose weight I think it's important to keep track of food intake well so I'm not allowing myself extra snacks. I know I'm going to reach a plateau before I lose my first 20 lbs so I really need to establish some control. However I am conflicted about journaling. I took a class last year that focused on normal eating. The instructor had major issues with Weight Watchers because writing down everything you eat is not normal. But I've justified so much snacking and non-hunger related eating over the years so I feel its important for me to look at what I'm putting into my body each day.

So here's a question about Lane Bryant...what do you think about them changing the size chart for jeans and pants last year? I for the most part don't like it. I have a hard time remembering my size now as well as what color I am. I appreciate that they have designed different styles of pants since women come in different shapes and sizes but I don't see what was wrong with the normal size chart. By changing the size range from 0-7 (or whatever it is) it makes me think that the store is trying to make women feel better by fooling them with a smaller number instead of them seeing a size 20. I thought about it a lot when I was buying an outfit for a wedding last month. I'd feel more satisfaction if I saw myself moving from a size 20 to a size 18 rather than a size 5 to 4.

Meat, potato and veggie casserole

Per Jenny's request, here is the recipe for one of my favorite childhood casseroles!

-1lb lean ground beef
-1 pkg. onion soup mix (the beefy onion or onion and mushroom are the best)
-1 egg
-1/2 c. bread crumbs

mix all of the indgredients up and either make and brown meatballs or just brown it and leave it in big chunks (it doesn't have to be cooked through completly but you want to cook it at least half of the way so your casserole doesn't get greasy. It is very important to use a lean beef for this recipe. Once it is cooked spread out evenly in the bottom of a cake pan/baking dish.

Next--
-1 c. baby carrots or 3 full sized carrots peeled
-1 small head of cabbage (or 1/2 of a large head)
-1/2 of a medium onion

Shred the carrots finely (I use a salad shooter, you could do this by hand with grater or buy shredded carrots). Chop the onion well. Chop or shredd the cabbage (you could also cheat and use the dole coleslaw mix...it's usually just cabbage with a few carrots in it). Mix these ingedients and spread evenly over the meat.

Then, thinly slice 2 large baking potatoes (skin on) and layer them on top of the other veggies. I then generally lightly salt and pepper the top of the potatoes and sprinkle on some grated parmesan cheese. Over your casserole pour on tomato juice (pour on enough to cover the potatoes...shake it down and make sure there is enough liquid (remember that the cabbage will release some liquid).

Bake, covered with tinfoil, for 2 hrs or until the potatoes are cooked. You can then sprinkle on a bit more parmesan and melt it. Let sit for 5 minutes before you serve it.




Variations and quick fixes.
-instead of the tomato juice use a can of cream of mushroom and cream of celelry soup. Mix with 2 cans of milk and pour over top.
-to make this a faster meal use frozen shredded hasbrowns instead of raw potatoes. Follow all of the directions the same and bake for 45 minutes or until the potatoes and cabbage are cooked through.

You can serve this with lettuce salad if you'd like or cottage cheese (if that's your think). We always had garlic bread with it too!

Gotta love daylight savings time!!!

Happy daylight savings ladies (and a late happy halloween too!). Due to th fact that my body thought it was an hour later than it actually was I have been up since 7:30 this morning...go me. While there are a lot of people who I know that would be very frustrated by this I find it quite invigorating! I truly enjoy the early'ish' morning hours and like the quiet time. Even though I live alone I still feel that these hours are a little bit quiter than the others. I never turn on the t.v. or radio. I just spend time doing some things for myself (have a cup of coffee, check up on my news websites, take a long shower etc).

Last week was a bumpy week for me. I did a lot of things well and I did some things that were not all that great. I will share my Thursday with you as a prime example. Thursday morning I got up and headed to work. I was hungry when I got there so I did my first-thing-in-the-morning duties at work and then I headed off to grab my breakfast (a banana and cup of coffee). It was a slow day at work and I had not gotten enough sleep the night before so I kept myself awake and coherent by drinking lots and lots of coffee...yummy, but it makes me not want to eat. Lunch time rolled around and I simply had no interest in eating the soup I brought for lunch...so I didn't (which is the number one rule...don't eat if you're not hungry!). Because I had eaten approximately 150 calories all day I decided that I could splurge on dinner and go out. Well all I wanted was guacamole so I decided to hit up Qdoba...it's a restaurant similar to a Chipotle/Poncheros only WAY better! I got a burritor and chips and guac. Now, calorie wise I was still within a standard daily allotment...infact for the day I probably ended up around 1600 claories which is a number that I should be around now. However, knowing this made me justify eating the WHOLE DAMN THING!!!! It was WAY to much food for me. I was sick all night.

Ever since we've started this blog and I've been paying more attention to how I feel before I eat, what I eat and how I feel after eating I have come to some conclusions.
A) I still eat when I'm bored, lonely and emotional...Jenny your tip from WW (if hunger isn't the problem then food isn't the answer) is helping but I still struggel here.
B) When I eat for hunger I tend to crave and desire healthier, homecooked foods. When I eat for appetite I want crap.
C) I LOVE Chinese food. I crave it more than I crave any other bad-for-me food. I always, ALWAYS feel shitty after eating it. Even if I eat a normal portion. I think it's just too greasy for my stomach to handle.
D) I NEVER feel sick if I don't over eat.

I didn't weigh myself this weekend because mother nature is taking over and I think it would be disheartening to weigh myself right before menstruation (I spelled it correctly just for you Leann)! I've actually decided that to avoid monthly fluctuations in weight that I will refrain from weighing myself every week and do it on a monthly schedule that coordinates with this special time of month. If I do it one week after every month I can't justify weight gain on hormones!

Alright ladies...enjoy the rest of your weekend and I hope that you have a wonderful week! Stay strong!

Spelling is overrated.....

Okay....my bad. It is spelled menstruation. Not menstration. Hooked on phonics failed me. I am currently congested (may be due to the flu mist I got) so sleeping is a currently issue. I've done well with the Halloween candy. Gavin actually got a lot of candy that I don't like. It's been easy to avoid the candy bucket. I got a box of Fiber One bars tonight too. They are excellent. They have 9 grams of fiber in one bar. And yet they taste good!

Since my mom and sister visited, a bunch of family met at a local Italian buffet and I did quite well. My stomach is definitely shrinking and I was unable to eat as much as I did in the past. I could have easy eaten 4 plates of food this summer but all i had tonight was one salad plate and one main course plate of food. I didn't even finish my main course plate. The place features stuff like pizza, pasta, soups, and it actually had a lot of comfort food like mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, lasagna, etc. I didn't even eat my macaroni and cheese. I could tell I was full so I didn't want to push it and make myself sick. Oh well. The fact of the matter is that I ate out a lot in the last two days. It's amazing how guests make you feel like you're entitled to eat out when they visit.

I have more to say but no energy to type it so I'll continue this later in the week.

Menstration sucks!

Well I didn't lose much weight this week thanks to that fun womanly time. But honestly, I didn't think I'd lose any at all. I'm down 0.8 lbs so I've officially lost 12 lbs. I have felt so much better lately....the only thing holding back my overall energy is my poor sleeping habits. I have the hardest time falling asleep at night. I still watch tv and I know I shouldn't but I don't like lying in bed with silence surrounding me. Using a radio doesn't really help much but maybe I can get used to it. On top of that, I've been having really vivid, realistic dreams that trouble me. The dreams involve my deceased fiance and I usually wake up more than once during the night from them. I don't have them every night but it's given me a lot to think about. I usually don't have issues with this until December (closer to the date of his death). I think the wedding I had this month triggered me to start thinking about him and all that jazz.

I've decided that I really need to work on my mid-section. I can tell I'm thinning out all over my body...primarily my face so far. I'm really going to need to work on my abdomen if I want to lose more circumference. However, I hate doing sit-ups. I've never enjoyed them. I really hate how I feel during them and after since I get very sore. I do realize that I'd not feel so bad if I continued with them on a regular basis but I just can't get past the first initial tries. Here are some new goals for this week:

1) I will be in bed at midnight. The tv will be off and I will not use my laptop in bed.

2) I will continue to journal my food intake each day since I've fallen off the wagon.

3) I will exercise 2-3 times a week and include abdominal workouts.

Happy Halloween to everyone. I'm looking forward to partaking in some holiday treats and am actually looking foward to the challenge of controlling myself around all the candy. Bring it on candy bowl!

Our society is backwards!!!

Here is a short but sweet rant....healthy food costs way too much money! I'm providing a couple meat, cheese, and cracker trays for Gavin's fall party at school on Thursday. I decided to stock up on the supplies today since I had the time to run errands. Holy crap! I spent so much money on the bricks of cheese and the meat. Yet, if I was providing junk food, I could have bought everything for under $10. Instead I spend almost $50!!! No wonder many people eat horribly.....they can't afford healthy food!

Woohoo Halloween Week!

I too had an average but busy weekend. More busy than I usually prefer. I did eat junk food this weekend as we attended a football game and a fall festival. I'm a nacho gal...so that was my treat on Saturday night. I tell you what though....the smells at a football game rock. Everyone was eating those warm pretzels and hot dogs. I'm so glad I ate a big snack before the game or I would have been tempted thanks to my sense of smell. I have the same issue at the high school football games we attend. I'm surrounded by the smell of hot chocolate and grilled food. But now that I do a better job of evaluating my hunger, I'm not impulsively buying that stuff.

Another interesting note about the ISU game on Saturday....Texas A & M only has male cheerleaders. I guess they call them a Yell Squad or something. They wore all white uniforms (kind of look like the Navy uniform) but they are extremely tight. They do cheers with hand gestures and gyrate and stuff. I felt like walking down and tucking some $1 bills in their waist bands. It was ridiculous yet amusing to watch since they were right in front of us all night. (We had a lot of Texas fans right next to us in the next section.) ISU lost though...it was a sad game to watch.

We also went to a church-related fall festival last night. Luckily the food they offered was pizza and salad. I ate Gavin's salad and let him eat all the pizza. My dislike of pizza always comes in handy at these kinds of events. I had to get cotton candy though. It was only $0.50 for the amount you usually get in a bag at fair for like $5. Gavin and I went to Hickory Park afterwards and that's where I didn't do so hot. We split an order of cheeseballs and I ended up getting a grilled cheese with french fries. Originally I was going to get a french dip but they ran out of wheat buns. I hate eating buns made out of white flour. I should have gotten a chicken breast salad or something. I felt rotten after eating my dinner. Even though I had a ton of points left for the day, I know I over used them last night.

My next challenge is coming up on Friday. Halloween Candy. I admit I don't like most Halloween candy. But I love Kit Kats and other random treats so I really need to work hard on staying away from Gavin's bucket of candy. I think I'm going to try something I heard of last year. You let your kid keep half of his candy out and put the rest in a bag and freeze it. That way it doesn't sit in a bowl and stare you in the face each time you walk by.

And I am in the same boat as Nicole. I'm controlling my diet (somewhat) but I need to add more exercise so I create balance between calorie intake and usage. I guess I want more usage than intake but you know what I mean. I'm going to participate more this week when I run our after school program too....if I do the exercises I make the kids do....that will definitely get my heart rate up. Alright...until next time!

Happy Sunday...

Good morning ladies! I was sitting here enjoying my breakfast of a banana and a viactiv calcium chew (I decided a calcium supplement wasn't a bad thing to start taking) and felt the urge to blog. I have had an average weekend as far as eating is concerned. I didn't mindlessly snack on Friday night but overate at dinner. I was really good yesterday about minding my hunger and not snacking but again I overate at my last meal of the day. I was almost afraid to get on the scale this morning but I was pleasantly surprised to see that I was at 307.0. It was a relief to see that although I have not lost any additional weight in the last 2 weeks, I haven't gained any either!

So, I know I have said it before but I feel like I need to say it again. I need to get my but in gear when it comes to increasing my physical activity. I am trying to make conscious decisions to make improvements here. Today, for example, as soon as I am finished typing this blog entry I am going to walk my mail to the box. We don't have them in our actual complex so I usually drive to a gas station to drop my outgoing mail off. However, there is a mailbox at the complex next to mine so I will go there. I have no idea how long of a walk it will be. I assume it's 1.5-2 miles there and then back. I'm actually quite excited! I have some thoughts that I want to get down but not right now...probably later today. I just wanted to wish you both a strong Sunday!

Cheers!

"If hunger isn't the problem.....then eating isn't the solution"

Another successful week at Weight Watchers. The topic this week was the reasoning(s) behind non-hunger related eating. Obviously some people eat to feel happy, to be comforted, etc. Luckily I haven't been eating to solve my boredom or loneliness lately but I definitely could relate to the topic. I predict I might struggle with stress related eating as I tackle thesis stuff in the near future though. We were given the task of finding other things to do rather than eating that can elicit good feelings. So many people suggested exercise but I don't find that entirely realistic for me as I usually feel bored/lonely at night when leaving home isn't feasible. I really wish I had the funds to buy a fold-up treadmill. Maybe the treadmill fairy will bring one some day.

I lost another 2.6 lbs this week. I wasn't very good about journaling my food intake throughout the week so the resulting weight loss is surprising. I always say something pessimistic right before I get on the scale...I'm always assuming failure since I don't weigh myself at home. My scale at home is wrong anyway LOL. I'm officially at a 11.2 lbs loss! My big goal, now that I've lost 10 lbs, is to reach my 10% goal of 28 lbs. I'm also awaiting the week when weight loss becomes tough. My body is letting go of weight so easily and that can't go on forever.

We also discussed that Christmas is only 10 weeks away. How crazy is that?!?! It also means that the next 10 weeks are the most difficult for some people due to Halloween candy, Thanksgiving, leftovers, Christmas, and more leftovers. Heck, even New Years is an issue because of alcohol consumption. I also have a birthday during this 10 week time frame.

So my question today pertains to a what you can do instead of reaching for food for comfort or happiness. What feasible, realistic options do you have? I personally try to read for pleasure and I chat online. However, I admit that it seems easy to snack while chatting so I try not to do it so much anymore. I also try to put in a good movie or find a good tv show but I have to be careful about snacking then too. I've typically ate something while watching tv in the past so it's a habit I need to break. Any other ideas?

A little bit older and maybe even a bit wiser...

Hello ladies! Now that all of the birthday festivities are over and my sister's have headed home to merry state of Iowa I can give some attention to everyday things. My birthday weekend was amazing, the weather was fantastic and I had so much fun hanging out with my sisters. Before they arrived I was very worried that I would be doing a lot of over eating. Not only was it a birthday weekend (which means cake of course) I knew that we had some plans to eat out. Now that it's over, I will honestly say that I don't think I did too badly at all. I know that I ate a bit more than I otherwise would have but I also did a lot more physical activity while the girls were here. On Saturday we went to a corn maze and spent a few hours wandering around a cornfield (and it wasn't jus walking straight rows...there were lots of hills to tackle). Then we did some shopping which resulted in more walking. Sunday we spent 3 hours wandering around the botanical garden's and arboretum and them spent the afternoon shopping on main street...again, lots and lots of walking. I can honestly say that the only time I think I truly ate without being hungry or beyond the point of satisfied was when we had popcorn Sunday night (after eating an amazing dinner at an Indian restaurant) and last night after the girls left (that may have been some emotional eating). Although I did make some mistatkes I also made some good decisions too. I got a chicken dish instead of lamb at the restuaruant and I ate an acceptable portion and left feeling satisfied as opposed to stuffing myself and feeling miserable. I haven't stepped on the scale yet but I'm going to assume that I didn't get too far set back in my goals.

Jenny, I was reading your blog last night and I too love weddings but tend to get a little depressed after them. Not only is there this happy couple but it's when I realize that almost all of my friends are also happily attached. I wish I could give you some really fantastic insight (either an explanation for why amazing girls such as ourselves are still single or a sure fire way to cure the wedding day blues) but sadly I can't. However, I can offer this little gem, even though we have setbacks we must move on...we get a do over everyday (and it sounds like you're back on track...me too)! Now, in regard to the WW tips for eating out, most of them seem really great, except I too am surprised about the appetizer for a meal thing. Appetizers are notoriously crazy high in calories and fat (and not generally that filling). But I think I'll have to give some of thos a try.

Ok, I should stop writing...my train of thought is slighly muddled!


**Oh yeah, in the spirit of full disclosure I did have 2 pieces of birthday cake on my birthday...but hey, I was celebrating another year of me (and I have a sneaky suspicion that 26 is going to be the best year yet)!

Happy Birthday Nicole!

Well it was an interesting weekend to say the least. I did fairly well over the weekend. I attended a wedding on Saturday and their food selection actually helped me eat well. Oddly, they didn't serve any hot food (not even coffee!) and I didn't care for the majority of salads they presented. They pre-buttered the sandwiches too so I didn't eat any of them. I'm sure that some of my drinks helped with calorie intake but I under ate food wise (yea, I know that's not good). My mom didn't have much junk food that I liked either when I was at their home. I do feel that I ate too much junk food when I was in Ames Friday and while I drove to Waukon. We went to a football game Friday night and I ate cheddar cheese Combos prior to the game. I really had a hankering for something salty and Gavin and I devoured the bag. We had to stop for lunch on the way to Waukon on Saturday and I ate some of those beloved cheese balls that I've mentioned in the past. I'm such a sucker for cheese products (only cheddar) and salty foods. And to make it worse, we stopped at McDonald's on the way home because we were traveling during supper time. I tried to order wisely. I got the #2 extra value meal (two cheeseburgers) and I ordered Gavin his usual 2 double cheeseburgers. I gave him my fries and my diet Coke and only ate the cheeseburgers. I couldn't even finish the second cheeseburger because the food stopped tasting good after I finished the first one. I guess that is a good sign.

I also ate some pasta way too late last night and it was directly related to my emotions. The wedding bummed me out. I'm very happy my cousin got married but events like weddings make me evaluate where I am with my life and it usually depresses me. I really didn't have a good time at the dance and I usually love wedding dances. Luckily we left early and I went to bed early when we got back to Waukon. It affected my mood yesterday (Sunday) too but I really didn't have the urge to eat until I was sitting up alone after 11pm. In a way I'm glad I ate some whole grain pasta instead of junk food but the fact I turned to food isn't good. Ok, that's enough narrative from me.

Last week, at WW, I got some information to help people eat wisely when they are eating out at restaurants. I figured I'd include their tips since at least one of them was surprising to me.

1) Check out the menu online prior to eating at the restaurant. (I started doing this for places like Panera so I know what I can order so I don't overuse my points)

2) Have a healthy snack before you go out so you aren't ravenous when you're ordering your food. I personally will order way too much food if I arrive at a restaurant on an empty stomach. If my stomach isn't empty, I rarely order an appetizer.

3) Ask for double veggies and less rice/potatoes if the restaurant can alter your portion sizes.

4) Share your meal or order an appetizer as your main course. (I'm surprised they'd encourage people to order an appetizer as a meal when many appetizers are huge and the majority are not very healthy.)

5) Ask for a doggy bag before you start eating. (This one surprised me because it seems really wrong to have that on the table during the meal. But it also makes sense....because you can put 1/2 or 1/4 of your meal in the doggy bag immediately. I often feel like I have to clean my plate when I eat and removing food early could help me not over eat.)

On a final note.....Happy Birthday Nicole! Hope you're having a good time with your sisters!

What a week...

So, this week was one of those weeks and I must say that I am so thrilled that it's over. I cannot wait for the next few hours to pass...mainly because my sisters will be here then and we get to hang out for the next 3 days! Having said this I should warn that I will probably not be very active until after Tuesday...I'm sure you will be kind enough to excuse my absence.

So, I am continuing to lose weight slowly but steadily. I stepped on the scale this morning and was at 307.0! I keep getting closer and closer. I need to get myself out of the habit of weighing so often but I think until I get under 300 I will be tempted to keep stepping on the scale. In the past, I would easily become discouraged by weighing too frequently because of normal, daily up and down fluctuations. However, so far I have only gone down! I am quickly approaching 20 pounds and I cannot tell you how excited I am for that milestone! I am crazy tired so I won't prattle on any longer but I will be back on Wed and have a nice long post full of insight and answers to questions! Have a great weekend ladies and stay strong and determined!!!

Wowser

I'm officially in shock. I somehow lost significant weight this week despite over eating on the weekend and having a rough couple days. I lost 2.6 lbs so I'm at a grand total of 8.6 lbs lost. I really cringed when I got on the scale and seriously thought the lady was lying to me when she congratulated me. I guess getting back on track these last couple days really did help.

The theme for the week was discovery. The leader created the following info:

D = Define a winning outcome. It doesn't have to be just weight loss.
I = Initiate a plan (plan for obstacles, plan meals, plan for exercise, etc.)
S = Seek out resources and information (this blog certainly counts for that!)
C = Consider (learn from) experiences
O = Open self to the unknown (take risks, try new things...)
V = Visualize the rewards
E = Examine and renew commitment (review information, discuss goals with others, etc.)
R = Resolve to keep going (don't let failures get you down, persist!!!)

The goal for the week is to focus on one of those "categories" and strive towards it. I thought I'd work toward the "initiate a plan" category since I really need to plan my exercise. I always make excuses and am not getting the recommend amount of activity per week. So what do you think you should work on based on that acronym?

Dude...

I have some serious appetite tonight...not hunger, it's all in my head. I was really hungry for fries so I had a small fry and hamburger from McD's and I am satisfied in a physiological way but psychologically I want to eat everything in my apartment right now, cookies, popcorn, candycorn, ricecakes, poptarts etc. But I cannot eat it...not tummy growling no food in my mouth. I was hoping that blogging would help! I just have to remember that I am working towards my goal...a healthier me! Ok, I will continue to resist temptation on my own!

By the way, I got called pretty again. It always makes a girl feel good!

It's another day....

Eating today went much better. I really focused on my hunger and didn't let other aspects of my life interfere with my eating patterns. I went to a great deli in downtown Ames and got a great turkey sandwich. I went kind of early and they hadn't gotten their bread yet for the day. They only had rye. So I tried rye bread for the first time and must say...not bad. I had been craving a deli sandwich for quite some time and it seems odd to reward myself with something so healthy. I used to get a 12 inch sandwich at this place and just stuff myself at lunch. Heck, I'd even get a bowl of Wisconsin Cheese soup with that order too. It was ridiculous. I got a 6 inch sandwich today and was totally satisfying. Yes, the soup was desirable but I knew it would eat up too many of my daily points.

I'm excited yet afraid to go to WW tomorrow. I have a feeling I gained a little even though I got back on track this week with eating better. I did exercise a ton today due to that pilot study I'm helping with. I think the researchers were trying to kill me via recumbent bike. It was a horrible test and I even felt pretty bad afterwards. Usually I feel great after exercise but they admitted they may have screwed up the intensity. My legs felt like mush for a long time.

So I haven't been setting weekly goals but I think today is a good day to set up some new ones even though it's the middle of the week. I'll try them out for the next few weeks.

1) I will count my points every day this upcoming week. No excuses.

2) I will not watch tv in my bedroom at night. (It's really screwing up my sleep schedule.)

3) I will exercise at least 2-3 days a week and accrue at least 30 minutes of activity those days.

Dumb bitch!!

So, I have to second the whole emotional eating thing Jenny. My stupid co-worker told my boss today that I don't know what I'm doing (which is a crock of shit by the way). I am SO angry at her right now. It's not my fault that the patient doesn't like that he had to do a test that the Dr. ordered. It's also not my fault that he didn't like the scale that we use to measure symptoms. I didn't set up the protocol, I just follow it. If she had asked me about the situation I could have told her what the situation was and that it wasn't a big deal, but NO! The whore goes and tells my boss that I did a crap job! ARHHHHH!!! She's lucky that I am a tactful person because when I talk to her tomorrow I am going to be polite and civil but I am seriously shaking I'm so mad right now!!!

Sorry to rant but basically this fits into the blog and the theme of things because all I wanted to do was come home and gorge myself on whatever junk food I could find (which would be 4 dozen frosted sugar cookies in my freezer). However, I am resisting...and let me tell you, I should get some kind of a reward for that!!!

Emotional eating blows

I'm really disappointed with myself. I overate this weekend. And to make it worse, I KNEW I was overeating but kept telling myself it was a family occasion and it was home cooked food so I was entitled. I continued to eat when I got back to Ames though and didn't keep track of my intake points. Especially last night (Sunday night), I was in a "screw it" mood and ate way too much because I was stressed about work and pissed off about another matter. I really am an emotional eater.

I was much better today but am unhappy with an encounter with frozen yogurt earlier today. It's going to suck if I gained weight when I'm measured at WW. I really wish I had the energy and the positive mood I had last week. I'm in a really bad funk this week and I can't shake it. And I know damn well that this weekend won't help.

But on a better note, I'm going to try very hard tomorrow and Wednesday so I can say most of this week was a success. I also had a good talk with a great friend tonight (thanks Nicole) so she really helped set me straight. I know this blog is really going to help me stick with it. I honestly think I would have skipped WW this week if I didn't have this blog and friends keeping me accountable.

I really wish I had some other way to diffuse my emotions instead of reaching for food. I don't know what to do when I'm this pissed off and upset about stuff. I try to just chill out and relax by watching t.v. or reading but it doesn't work. Blah.

Resisiting temptation...

Today I made my Halloween cookies. I currently have 4 dozen frosted sugar cookies just chilling in my apartment as we speak. In the not so distant past I would have probably already eaten about a half dozen of these, as of now, I have not had a single one. I have yet to be hungry and therefor have had no cookie. It makes me sad...I want a cookie but it will have to wait! I'm feelin' reall good about this! All I can say is temptation kiss my ass!

Yummy!

I just have to say that eating a hot chocolate chip cookie for lunch today (and nothing else) was just about amazing. I even obeyed my hunger and didn't eat the whole thing...it was a very big cookie and part of it is living in my bag right now! Also, I stepped on the scale today 312 on the nose! Almost 10 pounds! I feel great!

Have a great one ladies!!!

A Recipe to Share

Garden Vegetable Soup (0 points for Weight Watchers)

Makes 4 one cup servings

Ingredients:

2/3 cup sliced carrot
1/2 cup diced onion
2 garlic cloves minced
3 cups fat-free broth (beef, chicken, or vegetable)
1.5 cups diced green cabbage
1/2 cup green beans
1 Tbsp tomato paste
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp dried oregano
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup diced zucchini

(you can substitute or remove veggies from the soup...I typically leave out the cabbage)

Spray a large saucepan with nonstick cooking spray, heat. Saute the carrot, onion, and garlic over low heat until softened, about 5 minutes. Add broth, cabbage, beans, tomato paste, basil, oregano, and salt; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, covered, about 15 minutes or until beans are tender. Stir in the zucchini and heat for 3-4 minutes. Serve hot.

Enjoy!

A quandry ladies...

So, I have been trying to be really good about listening to my body and eating when, and only when I am hungry and stopping when I feel satisfied. I have the obeying hunger thing in check for now (I made baked apples 2 days ago and haven't had any until tonight because I was never hungry!). My issue is that I feel full immediately after I start to eat. Tonight is a perfect example. I literally had 2 bites of my apples, 2 bites of my bread, three spoonfuls of chili and a few drinks and I feel full. I've taken to eating really slowly so that I don't overeat because this fullness signal is so hard to read. Do you ladies ever feel like this or is my stomach as insane as my head?

Ugh...what a day!

So...last week I got my car back from having the transmission rebuilt. The car has been running great. However, I noticed a puddle of fluid under my car this morning. Yea, my car is leaking transmission fluid! I was so angry, pissed, and upset this morning. I think I spent about 2 hours crying. It's only a small leak but the fact of the matter is that it's leaking! The transmission work was not cheap last week so I really didn't expect this. And to make matters worse, I need to take it back to Independence since the transmission is under warranty. I don't exactly have any time soon to take it back there. Such a pain in the ass! Alright, now there is a reason why I'm complaining about this and it is related to weight loss.

I went to Weight Watcher's despite being so upset. They talked about soups and how they help weight weight loss. Basically soups are a large volume of food that doesn't have a lot of points. You can eat plenty without worrying about points or feeling stuffed. However, that doesn't apply to cream-based soups. (which sucks because I love broccoli and cheese, Wisconsin cheese, potato soup, etc.) The theme for week 3 of Weight Watchers is "Think First". This theme really hit home for me. Weight Watchers has an assortment of healthy habits to keep in mind when making lifestyle changes. They are (in no particular order): prepare yourself, ask for help, manage your thoughts, manage your feelings, take care of yourself, manage your environment, monitor yourself, and learn from experience. All of those habits affect everyone. However, some habits are more influential than others. I took a little survey and need to focus on managing my feelings. It wasn't shocking as I have depended on food for comfort and relief in the past.

On the bright side, I lost 2.2 lbs this week. So I've lost a total of 6 lbs now. Journaling is really helping. I cannot believe how well I've managed my hunger. I probably sound like a broken record but you wouldn't believe how I've cut back on eating. So much of my intake was not for hunger. I mentioned all that car stuff initially because I immediately thought about eating when I was so upset. (But I didn't!) I really need to stop and think when my emotions get the best of me. Fortunately, I rarely get upset about anything. But when I do get upset....watch out. It was break down city this morning. Anyway. No questions to ponder today. I'll be more perky later in the week.

Hmmm...guess it's my turn!

So, I have to say ladies that I have done very well this week. I have listened to my body and eaten when hungry and not eaten when I wasn't. Honestly, I am toying with eating something right now but I can't tell if I'm truly hungry or not...I guess I'll give it some time and see!

Jenny, you are such a little question asker...I like it because it gives me stuff to write about when I feel like I have nothing to write! First, I can totally sympathize with you about the rollercoaster incident. The last time I was at Valley Fair I found it a bit embarrassing to ride some of the rides. I remember having to suck it in and rearrange so that we could get the bar to snap into place...it was not a proud moment. Besides the lack of amusment park comfort I think I have 2 less ordinary desires for losing weight/making a change in my life. First, I hate leaving work with people. I leave work and have to hike my ass up a hill to catch the bus at night. It's not a hill comperable to one of the many I hiked daily at Luther but it is definitely a decent walk and I tend to be winded at the top. When I'm by myself it's not such a huge deal because I can catch my breath quickly and call it good. However, when I walk up with somebody and try to talk to them I am always breathy and winded...not pretty. It's not like I'm gasping for air but it's still not a great sight. Second, I LOVE weddings. It's the one time that I get to hang out with my friends and family and we all drink and make merry...and that means dancing! I don't dance particularly well or poorly but I manage to have a good time (and rarely sit out because my friends and I are the life of most of the parties we attend...she says so modestly)! However, I would love for 2 things to be different when I'm shaking it with my friends. First, I get so hot and so sweaty (attractive, right?) and I think that it would be less of a problem if I weren't so overweight. Also, it's not nearly as nice to look at a fat chick shakin' her shit as it is a girl who looks healthier. Now, I'm not saying that I look horrible but I would feel more comfortable if I were even 30 pounds lighter.

I guess those are my only slightly odd desires. Besides these I think I have some of the basic desires that most women have...look better, feel better, appear more attractive to the opposite sex, be more attractive to myslef. I know if I stick with this I can accomplish my ordinary and not so ordinary goals. Alright ladies...I think I'm done!

Oh yeah, and just in case you were wondering I did decide to have a light snack...my stomach was growling and I have to learn to listen! MMMM...ricecakes (and this is good because I actually LOVE the little minicakes)!

"I feel good.....I knew that I would....oh I feel good...."

Hey all-

Well another Thursday is approaching and I'm excited as hell about getting weighed again at Weight Watchers. For years now I've dreaded the scale and now it brings me happiness each week. Happy day! I'm having a good week again in regards to eating. The fact that I assess my hunger each time I try to put something in my mouth really works. My goal of not eating past 8:30pm has been working wonderfully because when I consider eating, I discover that I'm not actually hungry and I get my butt out of the kitchen.

I bought some Halloween candy yesterday. I am a sucker for those Mary Jane candies that are a peanut butter taffy concoction. After I bought them I regretted it because I thought I'd eat one every time I walked by the bowl. But so far, so good! I just keep my hunger in check and reward myself at the end of the day if I have extra points to spare. But yea, I knew if I withheld those candies from myself all month, it could lead to a possible candy binge around Halloween. Moderation rules.

I bought myself two new shirts yesterday at a cool little outlet mall north of Ames. I decided if I'm losing weight and improving how my body looks, I should be more presentable. One of the shirts is even pink. Many have been shocked today as I am wearing it at the moment. The point of this ramble is that even though I haven't lost much weight yet, I already feel more comfortable with my body. I really think that this lifestyle change (attempt) will work this time. My attitude is so much better and I have numerous goals in mind....not just decreasing the number on the scale.

So...what are you goals other than losing the actual weight? I actually have a really weird one. My sister can appreciate this one too as she visited an amusement park with me this past summer. I want to lose weight so my butt fits into ALL the rides at amusement parks. There was a really cool roller coaster thing at Valley Fair this summer and I couldn't get into the seat and get the belt to clip. Most of the roller coasters were a tight squeeze on my hip regions so the jarring back and forth really hurt on the rides. I LOVE roller coasters and exciting rides and I want to enjoy the experience even more next year. Do you have any odd goals that you can associate with weight loss?

Delayed response...here's your answer Jenny!

Hmmm, what an odd week. I guess I should start first and foremost by informing you fine ladies that I am feeling a lot better than I was when I posted on Friday night. I’m not really sure what was going on there, but after crying to my mom on the phone and getting a bit of motherly perspective I am feeling pretty damn good. It didn’t hurt that it was an absolutely beautiful weekend…God I LOVE the fall! Anyway, I’m back to feeling like myself which is a comforting fact.

Having said that, down to business. Last week you posed a question for us Jenny and wanted to know what successes and failures we’ve had in the past in regard to our weight loss attempts. I can only think of 2 real successes that I’ve had, one intentional and one not. The one time that I had some real success with an intentional weight loss program was when I did the Weigh Down workshop at a church with my 2 best friends in high school. The program focused on breaking the bonds we have with food and turning that love and devotion to Christ. It took away all of the dieting aspects of dieting that have not and will NEVER work for me. It wasn’t about cutting out the foods that I liked to eat. It wasn’t about forcing myself to eat HUGE amounts of really healthy foods that taste like cardboard. It was all about listening to my body, eating when I was hungry and eating what I was hungry for whether it was broccoli or cheetos. In this program there were no good foods or bad foods, so to speak. If you ate when you were hungry and only ate until you were satisfied (not bloated and stuffed) you were eating good foods, regardless of what it was. If you ate when you were not hungry, and I’m talking physiological, my stomach is growling kind of hunger, then you were eating a bad food…even if it was a food deemed righteous by the dieting community like cabbage. When I did this program I was incredibly skeptical. As a 280 lb. 17 year old I had tried to lose weight several times and now this crazy lady was telling me that I could eat what I wanted and still lose weight…right. Well, it worked. When you listen to your body and do what it tells you things tend to work out quite well. Sure at first I tested it and ate all of those naughty foods that I’d been denying myself, cookies, chips, burgers etc. But when I really listened to my body I found out that it lead me in the right direction and I got the foods I need. My body soon tired of eating only crap and I started to crave veggies and fruit and wholesome foods. Sure I had cake, but only if I was hungry for it. When I was eating like this I think I lost 20-25 pounds…I didn’t weigh myself ever while doing this program. The pounds lost were not the main focus, it was the discipline of listening to the body…the pounds lost were just the icing on the cake...pardon the pun!

The other time that I know I really lost weight was when I was starting my sophomore year of college. I started my program in athletic training at the very end of my freshman year. When I showed up for preseason before my sophomore year I found out what a physically challenging major it actually was. You’d be surprised how quickly you can drop pounds when you spend 13 hrs. a day lugging around 10 gallon coolers of water and chasing football and soccer players all over God’s green earth. I know that I dropped almost 25 pounds in three months when I started as an athletic training student. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Boredom is my biggest downfall when it comes to weight gain. If I have nothing to do but sit around and eat that’s what I tend to do. When I have lots of stuff going on around me, that’s what I do. When I was in athletic training I spent all day in class and then went to work until sometime in the evening. If my eating habits had been better at the time I could have lost some serious pounds when I was being as active as I was.

So, I guess my take home message from this blog entry is that I have had some success in the past. However, not enough…obviously. I think the one thing that didn’t work for me was that I always do things alone. With Weigh Down it was all about dieting. When I was in college it was being more active. I need to now tie these 2 things together and see what I can accomplish. Also, in the spirit of full disclosure, I really have been giving this weightloss/liftestyle change attempt a half-assed attempt. So, my only goal this week is to really find a way to give this more priority in my life. Ok, I’ve prattled on enough for now.