Menstration sucks!

Well I didn't lose much weight this week thanks to that fun womanly time. But honestly, I didn't think I'd lose any at all. I'm down 0.8 lbs so I've officially lost 12 lbs. I have felt so much better lately....the only thing holding back my overall energy is my poor sleeping habits. I have the hardest time falling asleep at night. I still watch tv and I know I shouldn't but I don't like lying in bed with silence surrounding me. Using a radio doesn't really help much but maybe I can get used to it. On top of that, I've been having really vivid, realistic dreams that trouble me. The dreams involve my deceased fiance and I usually wake up more than once during the night from them. I don't have them every night but it's given me a lot to think about. I usually don't have issues with this until December (closer to the date of his death). I think the wedding I had this month triggered me to start thinking about him and all that jazz.

I've decided that I really need to work on my mid-section. I can tell I'm thinning out all over my body...primarily my face so far. I'm really going to need to work on my abdomen if I want to lose more circumference. However, I hate doing sit-ups. I've never enjoyed them. I really hate how I feel during them and after since I get very sore. I do realize that I'd not feel so bad if I continued with them on a regular basis but I just can't get past the first initial tries. Here are some new goals for this week:

1) I will be in bed at midnight. The tv will be off and I will not use my laptop in bed.

2) I will continue to journal my food intake each day since I've fallen off the wagon.

3) I will exercise 2-3 times a week and include abdominal workouts.

Happy Halloween to everyone. I'm looking forward to partaking in some holiday treats and am actually looking foward to the challenge of controlling myself around all the candy. Bring it on candy bowl!

Our society is backwards!!!

Here is a short but sweet rant....healthy food costs way too much money! I'm providing a couple meat, cheese, and cracker trays for Gavin's fall party at school on Thursday. I decided to stock up on the supplies today since I had the time to run errands. Holy crap! I spent so much money on the bricks of cheese and the meat. Yet, if I was providing junk food, I could have bought everything for under $10. Instead I spend almost $50!!! No wonder many people eat horribly.....they can't afford healthy food!

Woohoo Halloween Week!

I too had an average but busy weekend. More busy than I usually prefer. I did eat junk food this weekend as we attended a football game and a fall festival. I'm a nacho gal...so that was my treat on Saturday night. I tell you what though....the smells at a football game rock. Everyone was eating those warm pretzels and hot dogs. I'm so glad I ate a big snack before the game or I would have been tempted thanks to my sense of smell. I have the same issue at the high school football games we attend. I'm surrounded by the smell of hot chocolate and grilled food. But now that I do a better job of evaluating my hunger, I'm not impulsively buying that stuff.

Another interesting note about the ISU game on Saturday....Texas A & M only has male cheerleaders. I guess they call them a Yell Squad or something. They wore all white uniforms (kind of look like the Navy uniform) but they are extremely tight. They do cheers with hand gestures and gyrate and stuff. I felt like walking down and tucking some $1 bills in their waist bands. It was ridiculous yet amusing to watch since they were right in front of us all night. (We had a lot of Texas fans right next to us in the next section.) ISU lost though...it was a sad game to watch.

We also went to a church-related fall festival last night. Luckily the food they offered was pizza and salad. I ate Gavin's salad and let him eat all the pizza. My dislike of pizza always comes in handy at these kinds of events. I had to get cotton candy though. It was only $0.50 for the amount you usually get in a bag at fair for like $5. Gavin and I went to Hickory Park afterwards and that's where I didn't do so hot. We split an order of cheeseballs and I ended up getting a grilled cheese with french fries. Originally I was going to get a french dip but they ran out of wheat buns. I hate eating buns made out of white flour. I should have gotten a chicken breast salad or something. I felt rotten after eating my dinner. Even though I had a ton of points left for the day, I know I over used them last night.

My next challenge is coming up on Friday. Halloween Candy. I admit I don't like most Halloween candy. But I love Kit Kats and other random treats so I really need to work hard on staying away from Gavin's bucket of candy. I think I'm going to try something I heard of last year. You let your kid keep half of his candy out and put the rest in a bag and freeze it. That way it doesn't sit in a bowl and stare you in the face each time you walk by.

And I am in the same boat as Nicole. I'm controlling my diet (somewhat) but I need to add more exercise so I create balance between calorie intake and usage. I guess I want more usage than intake but you know what I mean. I'm going to participate more this week when I run our after school program too....if I do the exercises I make the kids do....that will definitely get my heart rate up. Alright...until next time!

Happy Sunday...

Good morning ladies! I was sitting here enjoying my breakfast of a banana and a viactiv calcium chew (I decided a calcium supplement wasn't a bad thing to start taking) and felt the urge to blog. I have had an average weekend as far as eating is concerned. I didn't mindlessly snack on Friday night but overate at dinner. I was really good yesterday about minding my hunger and not snacking but again I overate at my last meal of the day. I was almost afraid to get on the scale this morning but I was pleasantly surprised to see that I was at 307.0. It was a relief to see that although I have not lost any additional weight in the last 2 weeks, I haven't gained any either!

So, I know I have said it before but I feel like I need to say it again. I need to get my but in gear when it comes to increasing my physical activity. I am trying to make conscious decisions to make improvements here. Today, for example, as soon as I am finished typing this blog entry I am going to walk my mail to the box. We don't have them in our actual complex so I usually drive to a gas station to drop my outgoing mail off. However, there is a mailbox at the complex next to mine so I will go there. I have no idea how long of a walk it will be. I assume it's 1.5-2 miles there and then back. I'm actually quite excited! I have some thoughts that I want to get down but not right now...probably later today. I just wanted to wish you both a strong Sunday!

Cheers!

"If hunger isn't the problem.....then eating isn't the solution"

Another successful week at Weight Watchers. The topic this week was the reasoning(s) behind non-hunger related eating. Obviously some people eat to feel happy, to be comforted, etc. Luckily I haven't been eating to solve my boredom or loneliness lately but I definitely could relate to the topic. I predict I might struggle with stress related eating as I tackle thesis stuff in the near future though. We were given the task of finding other things to do rather than eating that can elicit good feelings. So many people suggested exercise but I don't find that entirely realistic for me as I usually feel bored/lonely at night when leaving home isn't feasible. I really wish I had the funds to buy a fold-up treadmill. Maybe the treadmill fairy will bring one some day.

I lost another 2.6 lbs this week. I wasn't very good about journaling my food intake throughout the week so the resulting weight loss is surprising. I always say something pessimistic right before I get on the scale...I'm always assuming failure since I don't weigh myself at home. My scale at home is wrong anyway LOL. I'm officially at a 11.2 lbs loss! My big goal, now that I've lost 10 lbs, is to reach my 10% goal of 28 lbs. I'm also awaiting the week when weight loss becomes tough. My body is letting go of weight so easily and that can't go on forever.

We also discussed that Christmas is only 10 weeks away. How crazy is that?!?! It also means that the next 10 weeks are the most difficult for some people due to Halloween candy, Thanksgiving, leftovers, Christmas, and more leftovers. Heck, even New Years is an issue because of alcohol consumption. I also have a birthday during this 10 week time frame.

So my question today pertains to a what you can do instead of reaching for food for comfort or happiness. What feasible, realistic options do you have? I personally try to read for pleasure and I chat online. However, I admit that it seems easy to snack while chatting so I try not to do it so much anymore. I also try to put in a good movie or find a good tv show but I have to be careful about snacking then too. I've typically ate something while watching tv in the past so it's a habit I need to break. Any other ideas?

A little bit older and maybe even a bit wiser...

Hello ladies! Now that all of the birthday festivities are over and my sister's have headed home to merry state of Iowa I can give some attention to everyday things. My birthday weekend was amazing, the weather was fantastic and I had so much fun hanging out with my sisters. Before they arrived I was very worried that I would be doing a lot of over eating. Not only was it a birthday weekend (which means cake of course) I knew that we had some plans to eat out. Now that it's over, I will honestly say that I don't think I did too badly at all. I know that I ate a bit more than I otherwise would have but I also did a lot more physical activity while the girls were here. On Saturday we went to a corn maze and spent a few hours wandering around a cornfield (and it wasn't jus walking straight rows...there were lots of hills to tackle). Then we did some shopping which resulted in more walking. Sunday we spent 3 hours wandering around the botanical garden's and arboretum and them spent the afternoon shopping on main street...again, lots and lots of walking. I can honestly say that the only time I think I truly ate without being hungry or beyond the point of satisfied was when we had popcorn Sunday night (after eating an amazing dinner at an Indian restaurant) and last night after the girls left (that may have been some emotional eating). Although I did make some mistatkes I also made some good decisions too. I got a chicken dish instead of lamb at the restuaruant and I ate an acceptable portion and left feeling satisfied as opposed to stuffing myself and feeling miserable. I haven't stepped on the scale yet but I'm going to assume that I didn't get too far set back in my goals.

Jenny, I was reading your blog last night and I too love weddings but tend to get a little depressed after them. Not only is there this happy couple but it's when I realize that almost all of my friends are also happily attached. I wish I could give you some really fantastic insight (either an explanation for why amazing girls such as ourselves are still single or a sure fire way to cure the wedding day blues) but sadly I can't. However, I can offer this little gem, even though we have setbacks we must move on...we get a do over everyday (and it sounds like you're back on track...me too)! Now, in regard to the WW tips for eating out, most of them seem really great, except I too am surprised about the appetizer for a meal thing. Appetizers are notoriously crazy high in calories and fat (and not generally that filling). But I think I'll have to give some of thos a try.

Ok, I should stop writing...my train of thought is slighly muddled!


**Oh yeah, in the spirit of full disclosure I did have 2 pieces of birthday cake on my birthday...but hey, I was celebrating another year of me (and I have a sneaky suspicion that 26 is going to be the best year yet)!

Happy Birthday Nicole!

Well it was an interesting weekend to say the least. I did fairly well over the weekend. I attended a wedding on Saturday and their food selection actually helped me eat well. Oddly, they didn't serve any hot food (not even coffee!) and I didn't care for the majority of salads they presented. They pre-buttered the sandwiches too so I didn't eat any of them. I'm sure that some of my drinks helped with calorie intake but I under ate food wise (yea, I know that's not good). My mom didn't have much junk food that I liked either when I was at their home. I do feel that I ate too much junk food when I was in Ames Friday and while I drove to Waukon. We went to a football game Friday night and I ate cheddar cheese Combos prior to the game. I really had a hankering for something salty and Gavin and I devoured the bag. We had to stop for lunch on the way to Waukon on Saturday and I ate some of those beloved cheese balls that I've mentioned in the past. I'm such a sucker for cheese products (only cheddar) and salty foods. And to make it worse, we stopped at McDonald's on the way home because we were traveling during supper time. I tried to order wisely. I got the #2 extra value meal (two cheeseburgers) and I ordered Gavin his usual 2 double cheeseburgers. I gave him my fries and my diet Coke and only ate the cheeseburgers. I couldn't even finish the second cheeseburger because the food stopped tasting good after I finished the first one. I guess that is a good sign.

I also ate some pasta way too late last night and it was directly related to my emotions. The wedding bummed me out. I'm very happy my cousin got married but events like weddings make me evaluate where I am with my life and it usually depresses me. I really didn't have a good time at the dance and I usually love wedding dances. Luckily we left early and I went to bed early when we got back to Waukon. It affected my mood yesterday (Sunday) too but I really didn't have the urge to eat until I was sitting up alone after 11pm. In a way I'm glad I ate some whole grain pasta instead of junk food but the fact I turned to food isn't good. Ok, that's enough narrative from me.

Last week, at WW, I got some information to help people eat wisely when they are eating out at restaurants. I figured I'd include their tips since at least one of them was surprising to me.

1) Check out the menu online prior to eating at the restaurant. (I started doing this for places like Panera so I know what I can order so I don't overuse my points)

2) Have a healthy snack before you go out so you aren't ravenous when you're ordering your food. I personally will order way too much food if I arrive at a restaurant on an empty stomach. If my stomach isn't empty, I rarely order an appetizer.

3) Ask for double veggies and less rice/potatoes if the restaurant can alter your portion sizes.

4) Share your meal or order an appetizer as your main course. (I'm surprised they'd encourage people to order an appetizer as a meal when many appetizers are huge and the majority are not very healthy.)

5) Ask for a doggy bag before you start eating. (This one surprised me because it seems really wrong to have that on the table during the meal. But it also makes sense....because you can put 1/2 or 1/4 of your meal in the doggy bag immediately. I often feel like I have to clean my plate when I eat and removing food early could help me not over eat.)

On a final note.....Happy Birthday Nicole! Hope you're having a good time with your sisters!

What a week...

So, this week was one of those weeks and I must say that I am so thrilled that it's over. I cannot wait for the next few hours to pass...mainly because my sisters will be here then and we get to hang out for the next 3 days! Having said this I should warn that I will probably not be very active until after Tuesday...I'm sure you will be kind enough to excuse my absence.

So, I am continuing to lose weight slowly but steadily. I stepped on the scale this morning and was at 307.0! I keep getting closer and closer. I need to get myself out of the habit of weighing so often but I think until I get under 300 I will be tempted to keep stepping on the scale. In the past, I would easily become discouraged by weighing too frequently because of normal, daily up and down fluctuations. However, so far I have only gone down! I am quickly approaching 20 pounds and I cannot tell you how excited I am for that milestone! I am crazy tired so I won't prattle on any longer but I will be back on Wed and have a nice long post full of insight and answers to questions! Have a great weekend ladies and stay strong and determined!!!

Wowser

I'm officially in shock. I somehow lost significant weight this week despite over eating on the weekend and having a rough couple days. I lost 2.6 lbs so I'm at a grand total of 8.6 lbs lost. I really cringed when I got on the scale and seriously thought the lady was lying to me when she congratulated me. I guess getting back on track these last couple days really did help.

The theme for the week was discovery. The leader created the following info:

D = Define a winning outcome. It doesn't have to be just weight loss.
I = Initiate a plan (plan for obstacles, plan meals, plan for exercise, etc.)
S = Seek out resources and information (this blog certainly counts for that!)
C = Consider (learn from) experiences
O = Open self to the unknown (take risks, try new things...)
V = Visualize the rewards
E = Examine and renew commitment (review information, discuss goals with others, etc.)
R = Resolve to keep going (don't let failures get you down, persist!!!)

The goal for the week is to focus on one of those "categories" and strive towards it. I thought I'd work toward the "initiate a plan" category since I really need to plan my exercise. I always make excuses and am not getting the recommend amount of activity per week. So what do you think you should work on based on that acronym?

Dude...

I have some serious appetite tonight...not hunger, it's all in my head. I was really hungry for fries so I had a small fry and hamburger from McD's and I am satisfied in a physiological way but psychologically I want to eat everything in my apartment right now, cookies, popcorn, candycorn, ricecakes, poptarts etc. But I cannot eat it...not tummy growling no food in my mouth. I was hoping that blogging would help! I just have to remember that I am working towards my goal...a healthier me! Ok, I will continue to resist temptation on my own!

By the way, I got called pretty again. It always makes a girl feel good!

It's another day....

Eating today went much better. I really focused on my hunger and didn't let other aspects of my life interfere with my eating patterns. I went to a great deli in downtown Ames and got a great turkey sandwich. I went kind of early and they hadn't gotten their bread yet for the day. They only had rye. So I tried rye bread for the first time and must say...not bad. I had been craving a deli sandwich for quite some time and it seems odd to reward myself with something so healthy. I used to get a 12 inch sandwich at this place and just stuff myself at lunch. Heck, I'd even get a bowl of Wisconsin Cheese soup with that order too. It was ridiculous. I got a 6 inch sandwich today and was totally satisfying. Yes, the soup was desirable but I knew it would eat up too many of my daily points.

I'm excited yet afraid to go to WW tomorrow. I have a feeling I gained a little even though I got back on track this week with eating better. I did exercise a ton today due to that pilot study I'm helping with. I think the researchers were trying to kill me via recumbent bike. It was a horrible test and I even felt pretty bad afterwards. Usually I feel great after exercise but they admitted they may have screwed up the intensity. My legs felt like mush for a long time.

So I haven't been setting weekly goals but I think today is a good day to set up some new ones even though it's the middle of the week. I'll try them out for the next few weeks.

1) I will count my points every day this upcoming week. No excuses.

2) I will not watch tv in my bedroom at night. (It's really screwing up my sleep schedule.)

3) I will exercise at least 2-3 days a week and accrue at least 30 minutes of activity those days.

Dumb bitch!!

So, I have to second the whole emotional eating thing Jenny. My stupid co-worker told my boss today that I don't know what I'm doing (which is a crock of shit by the way). I am SO angry at her right now. It's not my fault that the patient doesn't like that he had to do a test that the Dr. ordered. It's also not my fault that he didn't like the scale that we use to measure symptoms. I didn't set up the protocol, I just follow it. If she had asked me about the situation I could have told her what the situation was and that it wasn't a big deal, but NO! The whore goes and tells my boss that I did a crap job! ARHHHHH!!! She's lucky that I am a tactful person because when I talk to her tomorrow I am going to be polite and civil but I am seriously shaking I'm so mad right now!!!

Sorry to rant but basically this fits into the blog and the theme of things because all I wanted to do was come home and gorge myself on whatever junk food I could find (which would be 4 dozen frosted sugar cookies in my freezer). However, I am resisting...and let me tell you, I should get some kind of a reward for that!!!

Emotional eating blows

I'm really disappointed with myself. I overate this weekend. And to make it worse, I KNEW I was overeating but kept telling myself it was a family occasion and it was home cooked food so I was entitled. I continued to eat when I got back to Ames though and didn't keep track of my intake points. Especially last night (Sunday night), I was in a "screw it" mood and ate way too much because I was stressed about work and pissed off about another matter. I really am an emotional eater.

I was much better today but am unhappy with an encounter with frozen yogurt earlier today. It's going to suck if I gained weight when I'm measured at WW. I really wish I had the energy and the positive mood I had last week. I'm in a really bad funk this week and I can't shake it. And I know damn well that this weekend won't help.

But on a better note, I'm going to try very hard tomorrow and Wednesday so I can say most of this week was a success. I also had a good talk with a great friend tonight (thanks Nicole) so she really helped set me straight. I know this blog is really going to help me stick with it. I honestly think I would have skipped WW this week if I didn't have this blog and friends keeping me accountable.

I really wish I had some other way to diffuse my emotions instead of reaching for food. I don't know what to do when I'm this pissed off and upset about stuff. I try to just chill out and relax by watching t.v. or reading but it doesn't work. Blah.

Resisiting temptation...

Today I made my Halloween cookies. I currently have 4 dozen frosted sugar cookies just chilling in my apartment as we speak. In the not so distant past I would have probably already eaten about a half dozen of these, as of now, I have not had a single one. I have yet to be hungry and therefor have had no cookie. It makes me sad...I want a cookie but it will have to wait! I'm feelin' reall good about this! All I can say is temptation kiss my ass!

Yummy!

I just have to say that eating a hot chocolate chip cookie for lunch today (and nothing else) was just about amazing. I even obeyed my hunger and didn't eat the whole thing...it was a very big cookie and part of it is living in my bag right now! Also, I stepped on the scale today 312 on the nose! Almost 10 pounds! I feel great!

Have a great one ladies!!!

A Recipe to Share

Garden Vegetable Soup (0 points for Weight Watchers)

Makes 4 one cup servings

Ingredients:

2/3 cup sliced carrot
1/2 cup diced onion
2 garlic cloves minced
3 cups fat-free broth (beef, chicken, or vegetable)
1.5 cups diced green cabbage
1/2 cup green beans
1 Tbsp tomato paste
1/2 tsp dried basil
1/4 tsp dried oregano
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup diced zucchini

(you can substitute or remove veggies from the soup...I typically leave out the cabbage)

Spray a large saucepan with nonstick cooking spray, heat. Saute the carrot, onion, and garlic over low heat until softened, about 5 minutes. Add broth, cabbage, beans, tomato paste, basil, oregano, and salt; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, covered, about 15 minutes or until beans are tender. Stir in the zucchini and heat for 3-4 minutes. Serve hot.

Enjoy!

A quandry ladies...

So, I have been trying to be really good about listening to my body and eating when, and only when I am hungry and stopping when I feel satisfied. I have the obeying hunger thing in check for now (I made baked apples 2 days ago and haven't had any until tonight because I was never hungry!). My issue is that I feel full immediately after I start to eat. Tonight is a perfect example. I literally had 2 bites of my apples, 2 bites of my bread, three spoonfuls of chili and a few drinks and I feel full. I've taken to eating really slowly so that I don't overeat because this fullness signal is so hard to read. Do you ladies ever feel like this or is my stomach as insane as my head?

Ugh...what a day!

So...last week I got my car back from having the transmission rebuilt. The car has been running great. However, I noticed a puddle of fluid under my car this morning. Yea, my car is leaking transmission fluid! I was so angry, pissed, and upset this morning. I think I spent about 2 hours crying. It's only a small leak but the fact of the matter is that it's leaking! The transmission work was not cheap last week so I really didn't expect this. And to make matters worse, I need to take it back to Independence since the transmission is under warranty. I don't exactly have any time soon to take it back there. Such a pain in the ass! Alright, now there is a reason why I'm complaining about this and it is related to weight loss.

I went to Weight Watcher's despite being so upset. They talked about soups and how they help weight weight loss. Basically soups are a large volume of food that doesn't have a lot of points. You can eat plenty without worrying about points or feeling stuffed. However, that doesn't apply to cream-based soups. (which sucks because I love broccoli and cheese, Wisconsin cheese, potato soup, etc.) The theme for week 3 of Weight Watchers is "Think First". This theme really hit home for me. Weight Watchers has an assortment of healthy habits to keep in mind when making lifestyle changes. They are (in no particular order): prepare yourself, ask for help, manage your thoughts, manage your feelings, take care of yourself, manage your environment, monitor yourself, and learn from experience. All of those habits affect everyone. However, some habits are more influential than others. I took a little survey and need to focus on managing my feelings. It wasn't shocking as I have depended on food for comfort and relief in the past.

On the bright side, I lost 2.2 lbs this week. So I've lost a total of 6 lbs now. Journaling is really helping. I cannot believe how well I've managed my hunger. I probably sound like a broken record but you wouldn't believe how I've cut back on eating. So much of my intake was not for hunger. I mentioned all that car stuff initially because I immediately thought about eating when I was so upset. (But I didn't!) I really need to stop and think when my emotions get the best of me. Fortunately, I rarely get upset about anything. But when I do get upset....watch out. It was break down city this morning. Anyway. No questions to ponder today. I'll be more perky later in the week.

Hmmm...guess it's my turn!

So, I have to say ladies that I have done very well this week. I have listened to my body and eaten when hungry and not eaten when I wasn't. Honestly, I am toying with eating something right now but I can't tell if I'm truly hungry or not...I guess I'll give it some time and see!

Jenny, you are such a little question asker...I like it because it gives me stuff to write about when I feel like I have nothing to write! First, I can totally sympathize with you about the rollercoaster incident. The last time I was at Valley Fair I found it a bit embarrassing to ride some of the rides. I remember having to suck it in and rearrange so that we could get the bar to snap into place...it was not a proud moment. Besides the lack of amusment park comfort I think I have 2 less ordinary desires for losing weight/making a change in my life. First, I hate leaving work with people. I leave work and have to hike my ass up a hill to catch the bus at night. It's not a hill comperable to one of the many I hiked daily at Luther but it is definitely a decent walk and I tend to be winded at the top. When I'm by myself it's not such a huge deal because I can catch my breath quickly and call it good. However, when I walk up with somebody and try to talk to them I am always breathy and winded...not pretty. It's not like I'm gasping for air but it's still not a great sight. Second, I LOVE weddings. It's the one time that I get to hang out with my friends and family and we all drink and make merry...and that means dancing! I don't dance particularly well or poorly but I manage to have a good time (and rarely sit out because my friends and I are the life of most of the parties we attend...she says so modestly)! However, I would love for 2 things to be different when I'm shaking it with my friends. First, I get so hot and so sweaty (attractive, right?) and I think that it would be less of a problem if I weren't so overweight. Also, it's not nearly as nice to look at a fat chick shakin' her shit as it is a girl who looks healthier. Now, I'm not saying that I look horrible but I would feel more comfortable if I were even 30 pounds lighter.

I guess those are my only slightly odd desires. Besides these I think I have some of the basic desires that most women have...look better, feel better, appear more attractive to the opposite sex, be more attractive to myslef. I know if I stick with this I can accomplish my ordinary and not so ordinary goals. Alright ladies...I think I'm done!

Oh yeah, and just in case you were wondering I did decide to have a light snack...my stomach was growling and I have to learn to listen! MMMM...ricecakes (and this is good because I actually LOVE the little minicakes)!

"I feel good.....I knew that I would....oh I feel good...."

Hey all-

Well another Thursday is approaching and I'm excited as hell about getting weighed again at Weight Watchers. For years now I've dreaded the scale and now it brings me happiness each week. Happy day! I'm having a good week again in regards to eating. The fact that I assess my hunger each time I try to put something in my mouth really works. My goal of not eating past 8:30pm has been working wonderfully because when I consider eating, I discover that I'm not actually hungry and I get my butt out of the kitchen.

I bought some Halloween candy yesterday. I am a sucker for those Mary Jane candies that are a peanut butter taffy concoction. After I bought them I regretted it because I thought I'd eat one every time I walked by the bowl. But so far, so good! I just keep my hunger in check and reward myself at the end of the day if I have extra points to spare. But yea, I knew if I withheld those candies from myself all month, it could lead to a possible candy binge around Halloween. Moderation rules.

I bought myself two new shirts yesterday at a cool little outlet mall north of Ames. I decided if I'm losing weight and improving how my body looks, I should be more presentable. One of the shirts is even pink. Many have been shocked today as I am wearing it at the moment. The point of this ramble is that even though I haven't lost much weight yet, I already feel more comfortable with my body. I really think that this lifestyle change (attempt) will work this time. My attitude is so much better and I have numerous goals in mind....not just decreasing the number on the scale.

So...what are you goals other than losing the actual weight? I actually have a really weird one. My sister can appreciate this one too as she visited an amusement park with me this past summer. I want to lose weight so my butt fits into ALL the rides at amusement parks. There was a really cool roller coaster thing at Valley Fair this summer and I couldn't get into the seat and get the belt to clip. Most of the roller coasters were a tight squeeze on my hip regions so the jarring back and forth really hurt on the rides. I LOVE roller coasters and exciting rides and I want to enjoy the experience even more next year. Do you have any odd goals that you can associate with weight loss?

Delayed response...here's your answer Jenny!

Hmmm, what an odd week. I guess I should start first and foremost by informing you fine ladies that I am feeling a lot better than I was when I posted on Friday night. I’m not really sure what was going on there, but after crying to my mom on the phone and getting a bit of motherly perspective I am feeling pretty damn good. It didn’t hurt that it was an absolutely beautiful weekend…God I LOVE the fall! Anyway, I’m back to feeling like myself which is a comforting fact.

Having said that, down to business. Last week you posed a question for us Jenny and wanted to know what successes and failures we’ve had in the past in regard to our weight loss attempts. I can only think of 2 real successes that I’ve had, one intentional and one not. The one time that I had some real success with an intentional weight loss program was when I did the Weigh Down workshop at a church with my 2 best friends in high school. The program focused on breaking the bonds we have with food and turning that love and devotion to Christ. It took away all of the dieting aspects of dieting that have not and will NEVER work for me. It wasn’t about cutting out the foods that I liked to eat. It wasn’t about forcing myself to eat HUGE amounts of really healthy foods that taste like cardboard. It was all about listening to my body, eating when I was hungry and eating what I was hungry for whether it was broccoli or cheetos. In this program there were no good foods or bad foods, so to speak. If you ate when you were hungry and only ate until you were satisfied (not bloated and stuffed) you were eating good foods, regardless of what it was. If you ate when you were not hungry, and I’m talking physiological, my stomach is growling kind of hunger, then you were eating a bad food…even if it was a food deemed righteous by the dieting community like cabbage. When I did this program I was incredibly skeptical. As a 280 lb. 17 year old I had tried to lose weight several times and now this crazy lady was telling me that I could eat what I wanted and still lose weight…right. Well, it worked. When you listen to your body and do what it tells you things tend to work out quite well. Sure at first I tested it and ate all of those naughty foods that I’d been denying myself, cookies, chips, burgers etc. But when I really listened to my body I found out that it lead me in the right direction and I got the foods I need. My body soon tired of eating only crap and I started to crave veggies and fruit and wholesome foods. Sure I had cake, but only if I was hungry for it. When I was eating like this I think I lost 20-25 pounds…I didn’t weigh myself ever while doing this program. The pounds lost were not the main focus, it was the discipline of listening to the body…the pounds lost were just the icing on the cake...pardon the pun!

The other time that I know I really lost weight was when I was starting my sophomore year of college. I started my program in athletic training at the very end of my freshman year. When I showed up for preseason before my sophomore year I found out what a physically challenging major it actually was. You’d be surprised how quickly you can drop pounds when you spend 13 hrs. a day lugging around 10 gallon coolers of water and chasing football and soccer players all over God’s green earth. I know that I dropped almost 25 pounds in three months when I started as an athletic training student. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Boredom is my biggest downfall when it comes to weight gain. If I have nothing to do but sit around and eat that’s what I tend to do. When I have lots of stuff going on around me, that’s what I do. When I was in athletic training I spent all day in class and then went to work until sometime in the evening. If my eating habits had been better at the time I could have lost some serious pounds when I was being as active as I was.

So, I guess my take home message from this blog entry is that I have had some success in the past. However, not enough…obviously. I think the one thing that didn’t work for me was that I always do things alone. With Weigh Down it was all about dieting. When I was in college it was being more active. I need to now tie these 2 things together and see what I can accomplish. Also, in the spirit of full disclosure, I really have been giving this weightloss/liftestyle change attempt a half-assed attempt. So, my only goal this week is to really find a way to give this more priority in my life. Ok, I’ve prattled on enough for now.

Ho hum...

Ladies, I have to admit that this week hasn't been so great. I mean, I've done well as far as eating is concerned but I have a sever case of the hum-drums. I need to find some way to motivate myself to get my ass off the couch. I am so bored and lonely here it is actually quite pathetic. I'm only 25, yet I feel like an old cat lady. This is, hands down my favorite time of the year. The weather gets chilly and the leaves start to change color and there's football. What's not to like?!?!? Instead of rejoicing and really getting into the spirit of things I'm actually kind of depressed to not have anyone to share this gloriousness with. Maybe I'm just mopy and need to get over it but I thought I would share my feelings. Sorry to be whiney, I promise I'll be better in my next post :)

Lifestyle changes don't require perfection, they require progress!

I decided not to blog yesterday as I've blogged a ton this week already. My Weight Watcher's meeting went very well. I lost 3.8 lbs this past week. I decided to splurge and I bought some chocolate bars from the program. I usually don't do that but I thought it might keep me from craving Kit Kats in the Halloween candy aisle at stores. I'm really surprised with how easy it was to journal my food intake over the past week. It makes me kick myself for not doing something so easy all along.

With that being said, I did slip a little last night. I had some friends over to watch a baseball game and I started to snack without thinking. It just seems natural to shove food in my mouth if people are eating around me.

The theme of yesterday's WW meeting was "using your rear view mirror." The chick wanted us to look back in our lives and evaluate what works and what doesn't work with weight loss because both can teach you a lot. Everyone was supposed to think of positive and negative experiences associated with weight loss. She also suggested that the number on the scale shouldn't be included in our answers. Weight loss is more than a number and we already know that. The positive experiences I remember (and notice lately) are the energy I have all day, improved mood, improved sleep, better example for my son, and the increased perceived control I have over my life. Yes, I do get excited about the decreasing number on the scale, but I also like when my clothing gets loose. It's great when you can walk into a store and buy a smaller size.

In regards to negative experiences in the past, I often gave up after some small failures. I'd have a bad week and fall of the wagon. Like the title of this entry states, weight loss or life style changes are not based on perfection. We are human, we are going to struggle and fail sometimes. What matters is that we press on and progress through tough times. Usually after I lose about 20 lbs, I also get frustrated because I'll start plateauing and weight loss becomes more difficult. And another major negative factor is the stress in my life. When the stress level kicks up, I start to not care about my diet. I just want food to comfort me. That obviously interferes with weight loss.

So what are your positive and negative experiences associated with this lifestyle change? What events in your past can you learn from?

Issue items for me...

In the past my dilemma foods used to all be of the salty persuasion. I LOVE salt. If I could marry a spice it would be salt, as pathetic as that is, it's the truth. Chips, fries, popcorn, cheese, crackers...you get the idea are all foods that I love to eat. I combat this by trying to not keep a lot of these foods around. I also try and keep healthier salty snacks around...salted nuts, rice cakes, baked chips, 100 calories bags of popcorn etc. For me, sweets were never an issue. Sure, if there was cake I would have a peice or have a cookie or 2 but I could easily pass up on cake, cookies, pie, ice cream, chocolate, candy...you get the point. However, I have noticed that in the last 2years, my sweet tooth has become increasingly larger and larger. Oddly enough my increased desire for sugared things started when I switched from drinking regular to diet pop. I read an article once that linked artificial sweetners to increased sugar intake in other forms and let me tell you, for me that is so true. I have an insatiable appetite for sweet things...especially of the baked variety. I LOVE cookies and donuts and pie. And let me tell you, this is BAD. The only thing I ever had going for me was that I wasn't a big sweets fan, and now, even that is gone. In the summer it's not so bad because so many of the fresh fruits are sweet and they satisfy my sweet tooth. Melon, fresh berries, grapes, plums and pineapple are all great ways for me to get sweets and not get a ton of processed sugar...not to mention they are loaded with lots of vitamins and nutrients. However, with winter fast approaching sweet fruits are becoming harder and harder to find. Sure I enjoy apples and bananas but they aren't sweet in the same way as fresh cherries and honeydew are. I've actually noticed that when I got to the store I am purchasing more and more not so healthy sweet things. So I guess I need to really start watching myself here. In the mornings I tend to make my own parfaits for breakfast (they're tastey, easy to make and really convenient to eat at work). I generally use 1/2 cup of light and fit vanilla yogurt, 1/4 cup frozen and unsweetened berries...right now I have blackberries, and then I break up one of the nature valley granola bars in it. It's sweet and only 200 calories...not to mention AMAZING! What I think I might do is make 2 at night...one for my breakfast and one for a sweet treat after dinner. It would help with craving and be good for me. What are your thougths ladies? I'd love the input!

Fiber rules

Well I went shopping today at Hy-Vee and tried to broaden my horizons....food wise. I did some coupon clipping last night so I decided to get some cereal. I went with a brand called Fiber One because things with fiber rule in Weight Watcher's land. The more fiber a food has, the less points it's worth so I can eat more of it. The cereal has 13 grams of fiber! And surprisingly, it tastes good since it has honey clusters. I also had a coupon for the Weight Watcher's candy. Typically I wouldn't buy that kind of stuff but the coupon was decent. I got some pecan clusters and toffee. Each piece is 1 point so it satisfies my sweet tooth and need for periodic chocolate. I did some brain storming on snacks and treats that I can eat and decided to go with the jello and whipped cream combination. I figure if I use sugar free jello and lite whipped cream, it shouldn't be too crazy point-wise. Woohoo.

I'm so excited that I get weighed tomorrow. I've done really well this week and haven't used all my "extra points" for the week. I doubt I'll use them because my hunger has been really under control. I did another VT max test today at work and I tell you what...even though the test is somewhat hardcore, it felt great afterwards.

I am so surprised by the amount of energy I have lately. I haven't had to nap much lately. I'm sleeping well at night too. And the B12 vitamin I am taking is working so I won't need B12 injections. So here's a question for you ladies....what are your "trouble" foods? What do you foods do you struggle with when trying to eat in moderation?

I struggle with salty snacks. If you put a bag of Doritos or Cheetos by me....look out. I'll eat the bag. I also love cream based soups. I can still eat tomato soup and manage my points easily. However, I also like potato soups, cheesy soups, and tomato bisque. I plan on using my favorite potato soup as a treat when I have extra points. I have noticed lately that I don't eat a lot of junk food like I originally thought. My issue was eating too much of all kinds of food. My portions were crazy. Of course I'm going to gain weight if I'm eating a box of Tuna Helper or tons of pasta. Luckily I don't crave candy and other sweets so I won't have so many junk food temptations during my lifestyle changes. Ok, that's enough for now!