I remember many occasions when I was little, and even a few when I wasn't so little, when I didn't get what I wanted from my mom and I would shout, 'that's not fair!!!' and get the swift reply, 'life's not fair!' I always hated it when she would say that. It was like she pulled out the big guns and the conversation was over. Whether I wanted to go to a movie with a friend or I didn't want to go to bed early those three little words held the same meaning, I was going to comply with her wishes, no arguing. As I got older in life, the things that didn't seem fair as a child faded. I was grateful for the fact that she didn't let me watch scary movies and even more grateful for the fact that she made me bathe everyday (I am so glad I was never known as the stinky kid). Although my worries and concerns of unfairness when I was child faded, they were, unfortunately, replaced with adult worries. I can't count the number of times that, as a rational and mature adult (yeah, yeah, I know...) I've looked at others and their lives and accomplishments and thought, that is so not fair!
Being a 26 y.o. single woman, it is so easy to get caught up in the lives of those around me. I don't remember when happily married/attached women and women who have jobs that pay enough for them to no longer worry about paying the bills became my arch nemesis. I've been single for as long as I can remember, however, I always had the attitude of as long as my friends and family are happy I'm good. For the longest time, that was true. It didn't matter if I was still free as long as those who mattered most to me were happy. Now I find my self very envious of those who have what I want. I don't know if it's the whole being closer to 30 than 20 thing or if I've just had more time to think about it since moving to Michigan but these thoughts seem to be in my head more and I just keep thinking over and over again, this is NOT fair. I'm smart, nice, funny and for the most part pretty, why in the hell haven't I gotten mine...NOT FAIR!!!
Alas, I have come to the conclusion that my mother's succinct response is, in fact true, life's not fair. Now, while I could lament this fact, eat a pint of rocky road and cry while watching An Affair to Remember (which is an amazing movie by the way) I have decided to go a different direction. While I do think that life is not fair, I still think that life is good. Part of my new year's goal is to try and keep on the positive side of things. Instead of focusing on what I don't have I need to be really greatful for all of the amazing things and people that I do have in my life. I have what I (in my humble opinion) feel is the most amazing family in the world. I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I have a really great job where I am learning so much. I have a comfortable bed, warm clothes and roof over my head. I have even recently reached the 20 pound mark in my weight loss attempts. What one person deserves so many great things!?!?!?!
Now, I realize that this blog has very little to do with weight loss but when we started this adventure, we wanted to make it a lifestyle change, not just diet. I think reexaminging our attitudes will be very helpful as we make our way into the next stretch of this journey. So, keep plugging along ladies, and remember, even though it's not fair...LIFE IS GOOD!!!
2 comments:
Dude, you are very pretty. What is this "for the most part pretty" shit that I'm reading in your entry!?!?! Boo..I say BOO!
You're blog also made me feel better and more positive about the day I'm having. I'll be much more rational than expected when I write my entry soon.
Touche, lady! Quite the blog might I say. As I have said before I tend to be pessimistic and jealous of others' accomplishments (especially weight loss accomplishments), but when I finished reading your blog I stopped and made myself think of what others might be jealous of me for. I am a hardworker with very good grades. I have a very loving and supportive family. I don't have as many friends as I used to but I do have friends. I know that I could go on and on which means that I don't have it as bad as I thought. Yes, I concur with Jenny, you are pretty! Good job at making not only yourself happy and positive but making me positive too!
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