Last night stayed at work late to keep a coworker company while she waited for an outside referral to get his butt to the hospital. Normally I wouldn't have stayed the entire extra 45 minutes but she and I were having a really great conversation and it was nice to do some bonding. Our main topic of conversation was losing weight. Obviously this is something that is an active part of my life right now and she is trying to lose her pregnancy weight. It is the first time that I've really opened up to anybody here about my efforts and it was a really great feeling. While we were discussing our strategies, struggles and successes, the same thoughts kept rolling through my mind and it is the cornerstone of this blog entry. Successful weight loss is about discipline, smart decisions and dedication...not deprivation! I want to discuss the 3D's with you because I think it will offer a little more insight into what we're doing here; after all, isn't that what this blog is about anyway?!?!?
Discipline. For me, this has been the hardest aspect of our lifestyle change so far. Logically it should be the easiest. This is the one area of life that we have total control over. Nobody but me decides what I do and when I do it...well, you know what I mean. I decided what to eat, drink, do, wear etc. Regardless of this fact, discipline is what was lacking in all of my other, failed weight loss attempts and it's the hardest part to maintain now. Because I'm (well we're all actually) in the initial stage of this change, every affirmative or negative decision made requires a great deal of personal discipline. Every time I come home and think, it's late, I'm hungry, I'm tired, I should just eat and watch old Gilmore Girls episodes, I have to have the discipline to tell myself NO!!! Stay away from the couch, don't even go into the kitchen, instead go directly to your room, change and do your exercise. Now don't get me wrong, there are still nights when I have a hard time convincing myself to change into exercise clothes and get my ass moving (and nights when I say oh, take the night off) but I'm becoming more disciplined each day. It's hard for me to accept but I'm not going to be perfect every night but I'm making progress and that's good enough for now.
Smart Decisions. Behind discipline, I feel like this has been the biggest factor in the results I have had so far in this journey. In the past when I thought of weight loss I would always think that there was 1 big thing that I wasn't doing right and that's why I couldn't lose weight. God was I wrong! I've probably said this before, but I really feel like success is going to come not from one thing that we do but a myriad of smart decisions that we make. I think about this a lot when it comes to my food selections and habits. I know that everybody does this a little differently, but I don't want to eat cardboard food. I want food that is nutritious and delicious. You don't get to be 321 pounds without liking food. Besides that fact that I like food, I also have a fairly good grasp on physiology and I know that, in order to work properly, the body needs a variety of fuels including carbs, proteins and fats. If we take away one of these energy sources completely, the body does not function the way it's intended too. Maybe this is just scientific justification for the fact that I want to eat carbs, however, fact is fact! Now, while I do want to eat what I want, I also know that I need to be smarter about these things. If I want a burger, I'm going to have a burger. If I want something sweet I'm going to have something sweet. I can still eat the things I love and lose weight (I'm doing just that right now). Just because I want a burger doesn't mean that I need to have a half pound burger, a ton of fries and lots of terrible things. I can, however, have a guilt-free burger (of proper portion and lean beef) with cheese and lots of veggies on top, hell I can even have fries as long as I stick to a single serving and bake them. I still get what I want and I don't over indulge on calories. Same with sweets. Although I have not been craving sweets so much since I'm not really drinking pop anymore I still have the occasional sweet tooth. Sometimes I'll have a 60 calorie pudding cup or some dark chocolate squares. I even have single serving Ben and Jerry's cups in the freezer for when I want ice cream. I know that these things are not the best for me but there is nothing wrong with an indulgence when I'm hungry and wanting something sweet. By eating smaller servings, or lower calorie sweets (like the pudding which I love), I can still lose weight and have the things I like.
Dedication. Being disciplined and making good choices are the cornerstones to weight loss (in my humble opinion). However, dedication is the glue that binds everything. It's great to be disciplined and make smart decisions about exercise and eating for a day. It's even better for a week. If we truly dedicate ourselves to this lifestyle change, this journey we will be successful. In the beginning, we tend to see results rather quickly. It's another well know physiological fact that when you have more improvement to make you will see results more quickly. The less room for improvement, the slower things progress. As we move on and hit that first plateau of weight loss, it is going to be difficult the carry on, it always is. But we must remain dedicated to our goal. I think I'm reaching that first plateau. It's about time to be honest. I don't want to say that the first 25 pounds off were easy but it was fairly quick. I've noticed, even with my improved discipline since the new year that I'm still reducing, just not as quickly. At first it made me nervous, but now, I feel good. I'm going to keep on moving forward and continue on my way. I will need to be extra disciplined in my eating and exercising but I'm up for the challenge!
Deprivation (aka...The DEVIL). The last thing I want to touch on today is deprivation. I've been reading a lot lately about weight loss and fitness. I've also been talking to a lot of people who have had success and failures in their personal weight loss attempts. Although everybody is different and has found success with different techniques (even here, we're all doing things our own way) there is 1, consistent failure inducing diet. Deprivation. When we take away all of the things we love, whether it be carbs, protein, sweets, chips, pop etc. we are setting ourselves up for failure. As soon as we say we can't have something, we want it even more and it's only a matter of time before we crack and binge on our forbidden food(s). Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that you can eat all junk food all the time and lose weight and be healthy. What I'm saying is, if you like Cheetos (sorry, we were discussing them at work yesterday) you have to allow yourself, on occasion to have them. Now, even on occasion, it's probably not ideal to sit down and eat an entire bag, but measure out a serving and enjoy them. If you don't want to keep a big bag in the house, buy a snack size bag, eat one serving and toss the rest (you're only out about 45 cents then and you get to treat yourself). In moments of weakness we turn to these foods, usually high in carbs and fats and use them to make us feel better, it's why they're called comfort foods. If we don't deprive ourselves of them for months/years on end, we won't be so tempted to over indulge when we're around them.
OK, like I said, these ideas were just floating around my head yesterday and I wanted to share them with you. I hope that they help offer a bit more insight into what we're doing here. I hope you ladies have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the big game tomorrow! It should be a good game (a great offensive weapon like Fitzgerald against one of the best defenses in the NFL...yeeeeaaahh!!!)
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Bittersweet morning...
I love Fridays! Not only is it the last of the week before I get 2 glorious days away from work but it's also casual day which means I get to wear jeans to work...hoorah!!! I love, love, LOVE jeans so this is always a special day for me. This morning I decided to wear a pair of pants that I haven't put on since before Christmas. As I stepped into and zipped them up, I was half tempted to take them off again and make sure that I was actually putting on a pair of my pants. They were way too big for me! The waist was too big and there was way more extra fabric in the ass than what I'm used to now that Lane Bryant has right fit jeans. I was stunned. I was just thinking the other day that while I've lost 25 pounds, I haven't really noticed a difference in how my clothes are fitting, and then this happens. I was so excited. I didn't have time to change my pants so I just grabbed my belt (so the pants would stay up) and was getting ready to head out the door when I encountered yet another problem. My belt doesn't fit me anymore :( I've had this belt for a couple years now and I love it, however, on the smallest loop (and its not the kind of belt you can make more loops in) it's too big and isn't effective at holding the pants up. All I could think was...SHIT!! My pants are too big for me and now so is my belt. Thank God, I never get rid of anything. Because of the way I'm built I can never wear belts that come with pants. They are always about 1 size too small. Well, last summer I got this really amazing silver belt with a pair of pants. I could put it on and squish myself in. If I didn't breathe I could get it in the first hole, however, it was uncomfortable on the verge of painful. I grabbed it this morning, without any real hope of it fitting and guess what...IT DID!!! I could easily fasten it. I was over joyed. Today was really the first time that I've been able to qualitatively appreciate the quantitative aspect of my weight loss!
Now, I called this morning bittersweet because I am so excited about the weight loss and how positive it is, but it dawned on me that I really only have about one size down covered and then I'm going to have to buy new clothes...ouch. Eh, I guess it's worth it.
Ok, I think that's good for now. I have an new thought to share that I've been toying around with concerning success in a weight loss attempt but I'm to tired to write about it now. I'll most likely be blogging again in the morning. Have a great night all and keep up the good work ladies!
Now, I called this morning bittersweet because I am so excited about the weight loss and how positive it is, but it dawned on me that I really only have about one size down covered and then I'm going to have to buy new clothes...ouch. Eh, I guess it's worth it.
Ok, I think that's good for now. I have an new thought to share that I've been toying around with concerning success in a weight loss attempt but I'm to tired to write about it now. I'll most likely be blogging again in the morning. Have a great night all and keep up the good work ladies!
Jessica Simpson
Have either of you seen all the drama on the news about Jessica Simpson's weight gain? It is so ridiculous! I guess she's put "a lot" of weight on since she starred in "Dukes of Hazard". I watched some supposed experts discuss her change on the news last night and I was just sickened by the stuff I heard. She's one of those women that's supposed to be healthy and curvy. I was actually shocked when I saw how thin she got for that movie. I guess she signed a contract to drop a lot of weight and maintain the loss for the movie but now that she's only singing she isn't so worried about her weight. She had to work out 2.5 hours every day to maintain her thin figure back in the day. That is just frick'n nuts!
No wonder people are so self-conscious now a days when we can't let people like Jessica Simpson gain weight to be a size 8. Good grief!
I'm also attaching pictures of the new addition to our family!
No wonder people are so self-conscious now a days when we can't let people like Jessica Simpson gain weight to be a size 8. Good grief!
I'm also attaching pictures of the new addition to our family!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
More answers to excellent questions...
Trigger foods are an interesting quandry. I know that when we started this adventrue this fall I didn't keep anything fun in the house. If I didn't buy it and have it handy it was easy to not binge. However, since January I've been keeping things in the house. I currently have pizza, chips, ice cream, pop, chocolate, cookies and pudding in the house. The interesting, and exciting thing about it, is that I really have no desire to binge on them. I really feel like I have a lot more control over myself than I have in the past and am capable of making better decisions. I think that I will be able to keep trigger foods around and still do well. Granted, it's only a month in to our revamped attempt but I still feel good about it.
I don't think food was a friend or a foe as a child. I talked about the attitude of my family in my earlier blog today but I think the joy came from the people, not the food...the food was just the icing on the cake, so to speak. I honstly don't have much insight into it beyond this. Although I will say this. I don't think food is my enemy. I think whatever triggers my eating is the enemy and that's something I can control.
Now, onto the final questions:
--food has become increasingly important in your life. (I honestly don't know how to answer this question...let me think on it).
--I eat when I'm nervous or angry. (These are 2 emotions that don't generally trigger eating for me...boredom and lonliness, yes).
--I crave food and think about it more than I should (I don't really think about food, unless I'm talking about it with someone but I do have cravings...I tend to want to have the things I'm craving...hmmm, do cravings mean that I think about food more than I think?!?!?).
--I eat to keep people from getting close to me. (nope)
--I could be addicted to food (it's possible...but I feel like I'm doing really well right now and am breaking the addiction if it's there).
I don't think food was a friend or a foe as a child. I talked about the attitude of my family in my earlier blog today but I think the joy came from the people, not the food...the food was just the icing on the cake, so to speak. I honstly don't have much insight into it beyond this. Although I will say this. I don't think food is my enemy. I think whatever triggers my eating is the enemy and that's something I can control.
Now, onto the final questions:
--food has become increasingly important in your life. (I honestly don't know how to answer this question...let me think on it).
--I eat when I'm nervous or angry. (These are 2 emotions that don't generally trigger eating for me...boredom and lonliness, yes).
--I crave food and think about it more than I should (I don't really think about food, unless I'm talking about it with someone but I do have cravings...I tend to want to have the things I'm craving...hmmm, do cravings mean that I think about food more than I think?!?!?).
--I eat to keep people from getting close to me. (nope)
--I could be addicted to food (it's possible...but I feel like I'm doing really well right now and am breaking the addiction if it's there).
Love Hunger #3
I am so bored. So, so bored. So I'm going to blog again and go through some more of my notes from Love Hunger.
The next section discussed booby traps. It basically discusses foods that trigger unconscious eating or unnecessary snacking. We have already talked about this topic so I won't get into thoroughly. The book posed an interesting question though. "Can you reintroduce these foods in the future once good habits are established?" I honestly think that food may be an issue for me even after significant weight loss and a change of lifestyle. I really wonder if I will ever trust myself with a bag of chips in the cupboard. I know that normal eating means that you don't have to remove foods from your life but I hate having that fear of losing control around licorice, Doritos, or cheesy potatoes.
As a child, was food a friend or foe? I don't think of food as either when I was a kid. I ate when I was hungry and ate what my mom gave me. Did that relationship change when you were older or when you left home? My relationship changed after I left home. I had a very stressful first semester at ISU. I also remember that I really enjoyed being on my own so I'd buy whatever I wanted at grocery stores. With all the extra stress and extra junk food in my apartment, it's no wonder why I gained weight right away when I started college. It's also not surprising that I started treating my stress and negative emotions with food and why that bad habit has stuck around for so long. Ames was also filled with so many options for eating out and I remember having tons of food delievered and taking Gavin out to eat a lot. I was like a kid in a candy store my first year here.
The authors also want you to consider these statements. Think about which ones apply to you.
--food has become increasingly important in your life. (yes for me... I think about food a lot)
--I eat when I'm nervous or angry. (yes for me....it happens with other emotions too)
--I crave food and think about it more than I should (YES YES YES! I get a thought or idea about a food item in my head and it takes a lot of energy to talk myself out of buying it or eating it as an unnecessary snack.)
--I eat to keep people from getting close to me. (finally one I can say no to!)
--I could be addicted to food. (yes I think I am)
That's enough for now...I don't want the entries to be god awful long!
The next section discussed booby traps. It basically discusses foods that trigger unconscious eating or unnecessary snacking. We have already talked about this topic so I won't get into thoroughly. The book posed an interesting question though. "Can you reintroduce these foods in the future once good habits are established?" I honestly think that food may be an issue for me even after significant weight loss and a change of lifestyle. I really wonder if I will ever trust myself with a bag of chips in the cupboard. I know that normal eating means that you don't have to remove foods from your life but I hate having that fear of losing control around licorice, Doritos, or cheesy potatoes.
As a child, was food a friend or foe? I don't think of food as either when I was a kid. I ate when I was hungry and ate what my mom gave me. Did that relationship change when you were older or when you left home? My relationship changed after I left home. I had a very stressful first semester at ISU. I also remember that I really enjoyed being on my own so I'd buy whatever I wanted at grocery stores. With all the extra stress and extra junk food in my apartment, it's no wonder why I gained weight right away when I started college. It's also not surprising that I started treating my stress and negative emotions with food and why that bad habit has stuck around for so long. Ames was also filled with so many options for eating out and I remember having tons of food delievered and taking Gavin out to eat a lot. I was like a kid in a candy store my first year here.
The authors also want you to consider these statements. Think about which ones apply to you.
--food has become increasingly important in your life. (yes for me... I think about food a lot)
--I eat when I'm nervous or angry. (yes for me....it happens with other emotions too)
--I crave food and think about it more than I should (YES YES YES! I get a thought or idea about a food item in my head and it takes a lot of energy to talk myself out of buying it or eating it as an unnecessary snack.)
--I eat to keep people from getting close to me. (finally one I can say no to!)
--I could be addicted to food. (yes I think I am)
That's enough for now...I don't want the entries to be god awful long!
My reflections on excellent questions...
Jenny, I love that you and Tiff are getting back into the Love Hunger book. I really think that any additional insight into this attempt at improving the already magnificent creatures that we is incredibly beneficial. There are a number of questions that you posed and I'd really like to answer them all so bear with me...it might be long but hey, I'm worth it!!!
First, what is my motivation for weight loss? There are a myriad of reasons that I would like to lose weight. I have some personal reasons, health reasons and let's be honest, vanity reasons that I want to and will be successful in this lifestyle change. Here are the reasons that I think are most important:
1. I want to feel completely in love with myself. I love the person that I have become. I'm strong willed, hard working, a loyal friend/daughter/sister/aunt etc., dependable...the list in my head goes on, but I think you get the point. However, the one area in my life that I am not satisfied with is my overall health which is mainly related to my excess weight. For all intensive purposes I am healthy, but as I get older, this will not be so unless I do something about my weight now.
2. I don't want to have a stroke at 35 like my mother did. Granted, I am not, nor have I ever been a smoker like she was, nor did I have to deal with the stress of raising 3 children on my own with little to no money at times, so I know nothing of the stress she went through in her 10 single years, but the family history is there.
3. I want to look at pictures of myself and not cringe...I want to be able to think, I look good!
4. I never want to have to think, would random guy X like me if only I looked like random hot chick Z ever again.
5. If I lose the weight that I want to, I think it will help motivate my sister to lose weight also...she, like myself is at increased risk of stroke (due to the same mom and all) and has temptations that I cannot even imagine dealing with due to working at McDs.
(there are more, but like I said...these are just the most important)
I don't have a lot of real, food memories as a young child for the most part. I do remember that when my parents were married, and my dad drove truck, when he would come home on Friday nights we always had a nice, big meal. Usually steak, potatoes and broccoli and it always felt like a celebration. There were usually small presents and everyone was happy. When my parents divorced I guess what I remember most is not having a lot. My mom did the best she could but there were a lot of meals that consisted of hamburger, mac'n'cheese, hot dogs, eggs, and canned veggies because it was inexpensive. To be honest, to this day my sister still can't really eat mac'n'cheese and rarely eats hot dogs because they were eaten so much when we were growing up. For birthdays and special events we always had nice meals though, we got to pick what we wanted when we were first divorced and then as we got older, mom worked more and had a bit more money we got to go out to eat!!! Again, it was a feeling of happiness and a celebration when we did this. Meals at home though were spent mostly in the living room with the TV on (mom worked 80+hours a week and had to miss a lot of meals and we kids tended to not do the sit at the table thing). Even when we married Bob we still had the TV on during dinner. It was sitting at the table but the TV was there.
In my mom's extended family is a celebration (I'll use her family as my reference point because it's the part of the family that I've spent most time with). At family gatherings, whether it was a major holiday with the whole family or just a random gathering at the farm with only the locals eating was fun. We all loved being together and we would gather around the kitchen/dining room tables and talk and laugh and eat food, drink drinks and be merry. I really feel like this has carried into my adult life. I don't like to eat alone. I view eating as a social time when one should be around those they love. It's why I don't actually eat out on my own. I'll go to the movies alone, no problem at all; however, every time I try and go to a restaurant by myself I feel awkward and sad. It's not because I feel dumb for eating by myself, but I don't get the same feelings of happiness that I get when I'm out with friends or family. Now that I'm writing this I think when I'm down and want to eat it's because I want to feel those happy cheerful thoughts that I feel when eating with friends and family...hmmm, I'll have to ponder this.
Now, to reflect on the eating habits of those around me...
Mom. My mom is an amazing eater. Watching her is fantastic. People will accuse me of being a slow eater, but compared to my mother I am a speed racer! Like me, she hates to eat hot foods that are luke-warm and often times has to nuke her meal in the middle because it takes her so long to eat that it gets too cold for her liking. She has also really worked at eating proper portions and making wiser choices. My mom recently (well over the last 5 years or so) has probably lost almost 100 pounds and managed to keep it off for the most part. There have been periods of increase but she always takes it off again. She is actually my main motivation for weight loss. If she can do it, and she started 15 or so years later in life than I am, I should be able to do this now!
I really don't think I've been that influenced by my dad or my step-dad's eating habits all that much. To be honest, what I remember, neither of them had great eating habits (my dad is a great cook and his wife a great baker so they always have great, rich, comfort foods around...my step-dad, prior to being diagnosed with diabetes was a sugar fiend). I know that over the years both have changed their eating habits due to health/medical issues but I like I said, I don't know that I can really assess any of my other 3 parents.
My brother and sister on the other hand I know fairly well. My brother was very similar to what your youngest sister seems to be now. He was a year-round athlete who could eat whatever he liked and not really gain weight. He jumped from sport to sport and was big (he's a massive dude...we got some seriously big stock in our family line somewhere) but wasn't fat. It was normal after football games to take him to McD and watch him eat a 20 piece nugget, 4 or 5 double cheese, fries and as much pop as he could get. Then, he stopped playing sport...now he's in the same boat as the rest of us. In fact, his orthopedist told him that he needs to lose weight or he'll simply tear his ACL again (for the 4th time mind you). He can't do much about the musculature or frame size so he needs to deal with the excess fat weight to take some of the load off his poor right knee.
My sister is a lot like me. She got into bad habits early in life and has had to deal with the consequences since. Unfortunately, she has a harder time with her weight loss/maintenance than I do because of her work temptations. I can't make judgements against her and I don't want to try and analyze her but I think I'm in a better place than her mentally when it comes to weight loss (I think I'm happier in life and therefore can control my cravings and splurges better) but hey, I could be totally wrong. Let's just leave it at she has issues like the rest of us.
I think something else to think about is how our friends influence our eating habits. I won't get into this now, I'd hate to ruin it if that's one of the Love Hunger topics. If it is, I'll wait until you get there Jenny...if not we can discuss it on our own!
I guess the last thing is excuses. I always hate it when diet/fitness programs try and blow excuses out of the water. Not that it shouldn't be done but their go-to excuse is the whole big boned thing. Granted, most people who are just 'big-boned' are not, in fact carrying their weight on a large frame, I, in contrast am. When doing body comping in grad school I was given the disheartening news that I not only have a large skeleton for a woman, but I fall into the large male frame category...go me! I mean, let's be honest, I'm not shocked...one look at my massive feet and man-hands as they're so fondly called by my friends and one would guess that I have a large frame. Now, that's not to say that am not carrying way too much excess weight on that large frame (I've never tried to deny it), but I have no hopes of every being much under 200 pounds. I'd rather not start chopping limbs off and that's what I'd have to do to get to much lower than 200 (which is my ultimate goal)!! Having said that I do have excuse. I will say I'm tired, and we all know that if I would even to 20 minutes of cardio I'd be less tired...gotta love endorphins! I could say that I'm hungry...that's why I try to carry a snack to work with me...something that I can eat before I leave work to ensure that I won't have that excuse to night work out but I'll still be hungry for dinner. Unsweetened applesauce is working really well...so do bananas! I am not working out tonight because I am really sore...I haven't taken a break from my workouts for 5 days. Initially I thought to myself, I'm sore...can't work out, but even that is an excuse. So, tonight when I get home from the store I'm going to just to a stretching workout. It's not as intense but it's still better than nothing. If I sat here long enough I could probably come up with hundreds of excuses but you I won't bore you like that. I guess my thought is, at some point, we have to say 'enough is enough' and get our assess of the couch and do something. I've actually been thinking about my physical activity. I really want to use the exercise room at my apartment when it opens again. It will be the perfect time...spring! My goal is to get up at 5 and work out before work. We'll see how that goes. If it's going to happen I have to start form the habit when the days are longer. It's still a ways off but I'm getting into the swing of things now.
Ok, this novel needs to be complete. Sorry for writing so much...blame Jenny for bringing up some many excellent questions. Have a great night ladies, be strong and be good!!!
First, what is my motivation for weight loss? There are a myriad of reasons that I would like to lose weight. I have some personal reasons, health reasons and let's be honest, vanity reasons that I want to and will be successful in this lifestyle change. Here are the reasons that I think are most important:
1. I want to feel completely in love with myself. I love the person that I have become. I'm strong willed, hard working, a loyal friend/daughter/sister/aunt etc., dependable...the list in my head goes on, but I think you get the point. However, the one area in my life that I am not satisfied with is my overall health which is mainly related to my excess weight. For all intensive purposes I am healthy, but as I get older, this will not be so unless I do something about my weight now.
2. I don't want to have a stroke at 35 like my mother did. Granted, I am not, nor have I ever been a smoker like she was, nor did I have to deal with the stress of raising 3 children on my own with little to no money at times, so I know nothing of the stress she went through in her 10 single years, but the family history is there.
3. I want to look at pictures of myself and not cringe...I want to be able to think, I look good!
4. I never want to have to think, would random guy X like me if only I looked like random hot chick Z ever again.
5. If I lose the weight that I want to, I think it will help motivate my sister to lose weight also...she, like myself is at increased risk of stroke (due to the same mom and all) and has temptations that I cannot even imagine dealing with due to working at McDs.
(there are more, but like I said...these are just the most important)
I don't have a lot of real, food memories as a young child for the most part. I do remember that when my parents were married, and my dad drove truck, when he would come home on Friday nights we always had a nice, big meal. Usually steak, potatoes and broccoli and it always felt like a celebration. There were usually small presents and everyone was happy. When my parents divorced I guess what I remember most is not having a lot. My mom did the best she could but there were a lot of meals that consisted of hamburger, mac'n'cheese, hot dogs, eggs, and canned veggies because it was inexpensive. To be honest, to this day my sister still can't really eat mac'n'cheese and rarely eats hot dogs because they were eaten so much when we were growing up. For birthdays and special events we always had nice meals though, we got to pick what we wanted when we were first divorced and then as we got older, mom worked more and had a bit more money we got to go out to eat!!! Again, it was a feeling of happiness and a celebration when we did this. Meals at home though were spent mostly in the living room with the TV on (mom worked 80+hours a week and had to miss a lot of meals and we kids tended to not do the sit at the table thing). Even when we married Bob we still had the TV on during dinner. It was sitting at the table but the TV was there.
In my mom's extended family is a celebration (I'll use her family as my reference point because it's the part of the family that I've spent most time with). At family gatherings, whether it was a major holiday with the whole family or just a random gathering at the farm with only the locals eating was fun. We all loved being together and we would gather around the kitchen/dining room tables and talk and laugh and eat food, drink drinks and be merry. I really feel like this has carried into my adult life. I don't like to eat alone. I view eating as a social time when one should be around those they love. It's why I don't actually eat out on my own. I'll go to the movies alone, no problem at all; however, every time I try and go to a restaurant by myself I feel awkward and sad. It's not because I feel dumb for eating by myself, but I don't get the same feelings of happiness that I get when I'm out with friends or family. Now that I'm writing this I think when I'm down and want to eat it's because I want to feel those happy cheerful thoughts that I feel when eating with friends and family...hmmm, I'll have to ponder this.
Now, to reflect on the eating habits of those around me...
Mom. My mom is an amazing eater. Watching her is fantastic. People will accuse me of being a slow eater, but compared to my mother I am a speed racer! Like me, she hates to eat hot foods that are luke-warm and often times has to nuke her meal in the middle because it takes her so long to eat that it gets too cold for her liking. She has also really worked at eating proper portions and making wiser choices. My mom recently (well over the last 5 years or so) has probably lost almost 100 pounds and managed to keep it off for the most part. There have been periods of increase but she always takes it off again. She is actually my main motivation for weight loss. If she can do it, and she started 15 or so years later in life than I am, I should be able to do this now!
I really don't think I've been that influenced by my dad or my step-dad's eating habits all that much. To be honest, what I remember, neither of them had great eating habits (my dad is a great cook and his wife a great baker so they always have great, rich, comfort foods around...my step-dad, prior to being diagnosed with diabetes was a sugar fiend). I know that over the years both have changed their eating habits due to health/medical issues but I like I said, I don't know that I can really assess any of my other 3 parents.
My brother and sister on the other hand I know fairly well. My brother was very similar to what your youngest sister seems to be now. He was a year-round athlete who could eat whatever he liked and not really gain weight. He jumped from sport to sport and was big (he's a massive dude...we got some seriously big stock in our family line somewhere) but wasn't fat. It was normal after football games to take him to McD and watch him eat a 20 piece nugget, 4 or 5 double cheese, fries and as much pop as he could get. Then, he stopped playing sport...now he's in the same boat as the rest of us. In fact, his orthopedist told him that he needs to lose weight or he'll simply tear his ACL again (for the 4th time mind you). He can't do much about the musculature or frame size so he needs to deal with the excess fat weight to take some of the load off his poor right knee.
My sister is a lot like me. She got into bad habits early in life and has had to deal with the consequences since. Unfortunately, she has a harder time with her weight loss/maintenance than I do because of her work temptations. I can't make judgements against her and I don't want to try and analyze her but I think I'm in a better place than her mentally when it comes to weight loss (I think I'm happier in life and therefore can control my cravings and splurges better) but hey, I could be totally wrong. Let's just leave it at she has issues like the rest of us.
I think something else to think about is how our friends influence our eating habits. I won't get into this now, I'd hate to ruin it if that's one of the Love Hunger topics. If it is, I'll wait until you get there Jenny...if not we can discuss it on our own!
I guess the last thing is excuses. I always hate it when diet/fitness programs try and blow excuses out of the water. Not that it shouldn't be done but their go-to excuse is the whole big boned thing. Granted, most people who are just 'big-boned' are not, in fact carrying their weight on a large frame, I, in contrast am. When doing body comping in grad school I was given the disheartening news that I not only have a large skeleton for a woman, but I fall into the large male frame category...go me! I mean, let's be honest, I'm not shocked...one look at my massive feet and man-hands as they're so fondly called by my friends and one would guess that I have a large frame. Now, that's not to say that am not carrying way too much excess weight on that large frame (I've never tried to deny it), but I have no hopes of every being much under 200 pounds. I'd rather not start chopping limbs off and that's what I'd have to do to get to much lower than 200 (which is my ultimate goal)!! Having said that I do have excuse. I will say I'm tired, and we all know that if I would even to 20 minutes of cardio I'd be less tired...gotta love endorphins! I could say that I'm hungry...that's why I try to carry a snack to work with me...something that I can eat before I leave work to ensure that I won't have that excuse to night work out but I'll still be hungry for dinner. Unsweetened applesauce is working really well...so do bananas! I am not working out tonight because I am really sore...I haven't taken a break from my workouts for 5 days. Initially I thought to myself, I'm sore...can't work out, but even that is an excuse. So, tonight when I get home from the store I'm going to just to a stretching workout. It's not as intense but it's still better than nothing. If I sat here long enough I could probably come up with hundreds of excuses but you I won't bore you like that. I guess my thought is, at some point, we have to say 'enough is enough' and get our assess of the couch and do something. I've actually been thinking about my physical activity. I really want to use the exercise room at my apartment when it opens again. It will be the perfect time...spring! My goal is to get up at 5 and work out before work. We'll see how that goes. If it's going to happen I have to start form the habit when the days are longer. It's still a ways off but I'm getting into the swing of things now.
Ok, this novel needs to be complete. Sorry for writing so much...blame Jenny for bringing up some many excellent questions. Have a great night ladies, be strong and be good!!!
Love Hunger #2
Hey-
I know it's soon but I'm doing another Love Hunger entry. I have so much negative stuff on my mind due to my thesis. I don't mean to whine and bitch about it but thing are not great since my advisor is moving out of her house and to a new state these days. All I can do is work on the material I understand and wait for her life to calm down so I can work on statistics with her....over the phone. Enough talk about that crap.
The next interesting part I read in Love Hunger is about our family members' relationships with food. The first section asked you to think back about your mom and her relationship with food. What were her food-related habits and have the changed now? I have to say that I'm very impressed with how my mom eats. I can tell she truly listens to her hunger and doesn't mindlessly snack. She also makes smarter snack choices and eats appropriate portions. I don't think my mom has changed much over the years.
Next is your dad (or step-dad).... I think my dad eats a lot of junk. However, I think he's lost weight over the past several years. He has a tendency to eat at convenience stores and he always has a huge bowl of ice cream after lunch (sometimes dinner). I don't think he snacked and visited convenience stores that often when we were kids. I think developed that habit when I was in high school, maybe late junior high. He likes to chit-chat with some employees that work at them and play the lottery so I can see how those activities would lead him to eat some of the food in the stores.
The next people to reflect about are your siblings. I tried to think about your relationship with food LeAnn and I really can't recall of much. I know we all do some unnecessary snacking now a days when we visit but I can't remember much from high school or our childhood. Alissa on the other hand...some of her behaviors with food drive me nuts. I just have issues with how messy she can be and how fast she eats during meals. I'm also concerned about her portion control too. If and when she stops playing sports so regularly, things could catch up to her quickly.
So what does your family's relationship with food cause you to think of food as? Is food just something you ingest for sustinence? Is it comfort? Or does it cause negative feelings? I personally find food as a comfort now due to the good meals I had and still have when I go home. But due to the snacking that's become habitual when I'm in Waukon, I no longer consider some foods to be a treat. I've gotten used to eating chips or ice cream so nothing really strikes me as "oh goody, this is a rare and delicious treat." I miss having that response to food. The only food I can think of that triggers that response is pie. A great piece of pie is always a treat to me.
Another cool part discussed the fact that people make excuses. Most people think they eat normally or don't eat THAT badly but are just big-boned or have a slow metabolism. It's important to discuss or accept the truth about yourself. I have accepted the fact that I will not be itty bitty skinny...I will always be larger even when I get down to 200lbs. And yes I bet I do have a slow ass metabolism but I made it that way. Metabolisms can be changed as you change habits.
Another excuse that stuck out to me was this one "when life settles down, I'll end my bad habits." When the heck does life ever settle down??? It's always one thing after another so waiting for that magical time when life is easy is stupid. The truth for me is simple. If I'd get my act together and sleep better, I could get up earlier and have more time to do other things besides work, clean, and take care of Gavin. Buying that treadmill was a good step as well because I can use it in the morning or evenings when I shouldn't be sleeping or watching TV.
Any other excuses come to your mind? Another popular one in the book is "My weight doesn't bother me....people don't notice or judge me" Well I think it's safe to assume that our weights bother us....we are trying to make changes already so that excuse is just silly.
I know it's soon but I'm doing another Love Hunger entry. I have so much negative stuff on my mind due to my thesis. I don't mean to whine and bitch about it but thing are not great since my advisor is moving out of her house and to a new state these days. All I can do is work on the material I understand and wait for her life to calm down so I can work on statistics with her....over the phone. Enough talk about that crap.
The next interesting part I read in Love Hunger is about our family members' relationships with food. The first section asked you to think back about your mom and her relationship with food. What were her food-related habits and have the changed now? I have to say that I'm very impressed with how my mom eats. I can tell she truly listens to her hunger and doesn't mindlessly snack. She also makes smarter snack choices and eats appropriate portions. I don't think my mom has changed much over the years.
Next is your dad (or step-dad).... I think my dad eats a lot of junk. However, I think he's lost weight over the past several years. He has a tendency to eat at convenience stores and he always has a huge bowl of ice cream after lunch (sometimes dinner). I don't think he snacked and visited convenience stores that often when we were kids. I think developed that habit when I was in high school, maybe late junior high. He likes to chit-chat with some employees that work at them and play the lottery so I can see how those activities would lead him to eat some of the food in the stores.
The next people to reflect about are your siblings. I tried to think about your relationship with food LeAnn and I really can't recall of much. I know we all do some unnecessary snacking now a days when we visit but I can't remember much from high school or our childhood. Alissa on the other hand...some of her behaviors with food drive me nuts. I just have issues with how messy she can be and how fast she eats during meals. I'm also concerned about her portion control too. If and when she stops playing sports so regularly, things could catch up to her quickly.
So what does your family's relationship with food cause you to think of food as? Is food just something you ingest for sustinence? Is it comfort? Or does it cause negative feelings? I personally find food as a comfort now due to the good meals I had and still have when I go home. But due to the snacking that's become habitual when I'm in Waukon, I no longer consider some foods to be a treat. I've gotten used to eating chips or ice cream so nothing really strikes me as "oh goody, this is a rare and delicious treat." I miss having that response to food. The only food I can think of that triggers that response is pie. A great piece of pie is always a treat to me.
Another cool part discussed the fact that people make excuses. Most people think they eat normally or don't eat THAT badly but are just big-boned or have a slow metabolism. It's important to discuss or accept the truth about yourself. I have accepted the fact that I will not be itty bitty skinny...I will always be larger even when I get down to 200lbs. And yes I bet I do have a slow ass metabolism but I made it that way. Metabolisms can be changed as you change habits.
Another excuse that stuck out to me was this one "when life settles down, I'll end my bad habits." When the heck does life ever settle down??? It's always one thing after another so waiting for that magical time when life is easy is stupid. The truth for me is simple. If I'd get my act together and sleep better, I could get up earlier and have more time to do other things besides work, clean, and take care of Gavin. Buying that treadmill was a good step as well because I can use it in the morning or evenings when I shouldn't be sleeping or watching TV.
Any other excuses come to your mind? Another popular one in the book is "My weight doesn't bother me....people don't notice or judge me" Well I think it's safe to assume that our weights bother us....we are trying to make changes already so that excuse is just silly.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Hold on ladies....it's Love Hunger time
Howdy-
My first announcement pertains to Weight Watchers. I am not getting weighed this week. Jenny has fallen off the wagon badly. Lots of unnecessary eating and snacking. No exercise. Since my treadmill is arriving on Friday morning I'm using that as my official restart day. It's going to be a day of major change. I'm going to take it easy tomorrow and Thursday though...the whole week isn't going to be a binge-fest.
Secondly, I have been reading through "Love Hunger" again as Tiffany and I review parts of it on Wednesday nights. I brought the workbook with me to Gavin's practice tonight and took a ton of notes. I'm going to start including some questions that inspire some interesting reflections. Answer them and read them if you want. I never made it past week 3 in the book and the program includes 12 weeks so I'm stumbling onto all kinds of neat things.
I reviewed the introduction which discussed addiction. They explained how food addiction is similar to an addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, work, etc. Addiction to food though isn't treated the same since those other addictions, especially drugs and alcohol, are considered more serious by many. I wish everyone would realize that addiction to food is just as much of a killer. It might not be as quick to cause harm or be illegal but think of the damage it does to a person's body, mind, and soul over time. It really wrecks a person and can destroy their life as much as heroin or booze.
The introduction also asks for you to list why you want to lose weight. I looked at my responses and made some changes. Heck I think we've listed this kind of stuff before when the blog first started but I'm listing my reasons again. It never hurts to review why you're making important changes.
I'm losing weight and creating a healthy lifestyle because:
1) I want to improve my health and avoid things like diabetes, high cholesterol, heart disease and cancers....especially since some of those are evident in my family genetics.
2) I want better fitness. I'm sick of getting winded easily. I want to run a 5K or 10K some day.
3) I want to look better. I want to wear a smaller clothing size. I don't want to hide my body anymore.
4) I want to fix my self-esteem and confidence.
5) I want to be happier.
6) I want to be a more active and energetic mother.
The program also has a contract you sign in the book. Do you remember you, Tiffany and I created our own contracts Nicole? Jeez, that was way back in 2007. Crazy. I thought about creating a contract for myself. But the fact of the matter is that I know what I need to do. I think if I keep on making goals each week or every other week I'll stay on track just fine.
The final part I'll discuss tonight is about the relationship we created with food in childhood. What was the atmosphere around the dinner table for your family? My family always ate around the table and my mom was usually adamant that the t.v. not be turned on. My dad was usually late for meals so that sometimes caused tension between him and my mom. Remember any other pertinent details LeAnn?
Now how has the atmosphere changed at your dinner table? Well first of all, Gavin and I don't eat around the dinner table. We have the horrible habit of eating on the coffee table in the living room with the t.v. on. I'm doing the exact opposite of my childhood.
How does this change make you feel? I actually feel sad about our bad habit. I'm creating a bad habit for my son. I mean if we eat like this now....how's he going to eat when he's an adult? Yikes! I actually wonder now how much this has contributed to my weight gain. It's proven that people eat more when they eat in front of the tv. I don't listen to my hunger when I shovel food in during a t.v. show. Gavin and I need to eat in the kitchen only. Plain and simple.
Answer those questions if you want and list your reasons for changing if you want. No pressure!
My first announcement pertains to Weight Watchers. I am not getting weighed this week. Jenny has fallen off the wagon badly. Lots of unnecessary eating and snacking. No exercise. Since my treadmill is arriving on Friday morning I'm using that as my official restart day. It's going to be a day of major change. I'm going to take it easy tomorrow and Thursday though...the whole week isn't going to be a binge-fest.
Secondly, I have been reading through "Love Hunger" again as Tiffany and I review parts of it on Wednesday nights. I brought the workbook with me to Gavin's practice tonight and took a ton of notes. I'm going to start including some questions that inspire some interesting reflections. Answer them and read them if you want. I never made it past week 3 in the book and the program includes 12 weeks so I'm stumbling onto all kinds of neat things.
I reviewed the introduction which discussed addiction. They explained how food addiction is similar to an addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, work, etc. Addiction to food though isn't treated the same since those other addictions, especially drugs and alcohol, are considered more serious by many. I wish everyone would realize that addiction to food is just as much of a killer. It might not be as quick to cause harm or be illegal but think of the damage it does to a person's body, mind, and soul over time. It really wrecks a person and can destroy their life as much as heroin or booze.
The introduction also asks for you to list why you want to lose weight. I looked at my responses and made some changes. Heck I think we've listed this kind of stuff before when the blog first started but I'm listing my reasons again. It never hurts to review why you're making important changes.
I'm losing weight and creating a healthy lifestyle because:
1) I want to improve my health and avoid things like diabetes, high cholesterol, heart disease and cancers....especially since some of those are evident in my family genetics.
2) I want better fitness. I'm sick of getting winded easily. I want to run a 5K or 10K some day.
3) I want to look better. I want to wear a smaller clothing size. I don't want to hide my body anymore.
4) I want to fix my self-esteem and confidence.
5) I want to be happier.
6) I want to be a more active and energetic mother.
The program also has a contract you sign in the book. Do you remember you, Tiffany and I created our own contracts Nicole? Jeez, that was way back in 2007. Crazy. I thought about creating a contract for myself. But the fact of the matter is that I know what I need to do. I think if I keep on making goals each week or every other week I'll stay on track just fine.
The final part I'll discuss tonight is about the relationship we created with food in childhood. What was the atmosphere around the dinner table for your family? My family always ate around the table and my mom was usually adamant that the t.v. not be turned on. My dad was usually late for meals so that sometimes caused tension between him and my mom. Remember any other pertinent details LeAnn?
Now how has the atmosphere changed at your dinner table? Well first of all, Gavin and I don't eat around the dinner table. We have the horrible habit of eating on the coffee table in the living room with the t.v. on. I'm doing the exact opposite of my childhood.
How does this change make you feel? I actually feel sad about our bad habit. I'm creating a bad habit for my son. I mean if we eat like this now....how's he going to eat when he's an adult? Yikes! I actually wonder now how much this has contributed to my weight gain. It's proven that people eat more when they eat in front of the tv. I don't listen to my hunger when I shovel food in during a t.v. show. Gavin and I need to eat in the kitchen only. Plain and simple.
Answer those questions if you want and list your reasons for changing if you want. No pressure!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Weekly recipe...
Amatriciana:
a very excellent pasta dish that is as nutritious as it is delicious...and way, way, way simple to make!
4 slice bacon
1/2 boneless, skinless chicken breast
1/2 c. chopped onion
1 tsp. minced garlic
1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes
28 oz. can stewed tomatoes
1 lb. uncooked pasta (I used whole wheat angel hair)
1 tbs. chopped basil or parsley
1. dice and cook bacon is a non-stick pan. Drain all but 2 Tbs. grease and toss in thinly sliced chicken. When chicken is mostly done toss in onions and cook until they are translucent and tender. Then toss in garlic, cook for another 3 minutes. Add tomatoes and red pepperflakes simmer for 10 minutes...breaking up the tomatoes as they heat through.
2. Meanwhile, boil pasta in a large pot, drain and rinse when cooked to desired firmness.
3. Stir basil/parsley into sauce, toss with pasta and server. Sprinkle with grated parmesean if desired!
Enjoy!
a very excellent pasta dish that is as nutritious as it is delicious...and way, way, way simple to make!
4 slice bacon
1/2 boneless, skinless chicken breast
1/2 c. chopped onion
1 tsp. minced garlic
1/4 tsp. red pepper flakes
28 oz. can stewed tomatoes
1 lb. uncooked pasta (I used whole wheat angel hair)
1 tbs. chopped basil or parsley
1. dice and cook bacon is a non-stick pan. Drain all but 2 Tbs. grease and toss in thinly sliced chicken. When chicken is mostly done toss in onions and cook until they are translucent and tender. Then toss in garlic, cook for another 3 minutes. Add tomatoes and red pepperflakes simmer for 10 minutes...breaking up the tomatoes as they heat through.
2. Meanwhile, boil pasta in a large pot, drain and rinse when cooked to desired firmness.
3. Stir basil/parsley into sauce, toss with pasta and server. Sprinkle with grated parmesean if desired!
Enjoy!
Feel good naked...
I've been intending to blog all weekend but I've just been so distracted lately. I figured if I can barely concentrate on a phone call there is no way in hell I could come up with a coherent, informative blog entry. I'll get to my weekly progress report soon, but I'd rather start this blog entry by discussing an article I read on CNN this morning. I was checking in on my morning headlines when the title Why women should feel good naked caught my attention. With a title like that of course I was going to click on the link, however, I almost closed the article straight away when I saw it was from Oprah.com (no offense if you like her, most do, but I just can't get into it). Although my initial response was to flee immediately, I went against my better judgement and started reading the article, regardless of where it came from they were still talking about nakedness...I was hooked! Anywhoo, I've linked the article at the end of this page but I thought I'd share some of the highlights with you because some of the concepts in this article really spoke to me. As a plus sized woman in today's society it's really hard to love myself some times. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm a fabulous person (she says so modestly), but even knowing that doesn't keep me from wishing that I was what society expects a woman to be in the physical sense. I have no desire to be a 'stick-insect' but I'd obviously like to be closer to the norm.
Now, this article is not advocating that women of all shapes and sizes walk around naked all the time and everywhere...that would be wrong and illegal...instead it focuses on women loving themselves, as they are, so much in fact that they feel good when naked. Now, I'm making a generalization here but I think that a lot of heavy woman feel like the clothes they wear cover up the fat. Yeah, I may have a big ass, wobbly arms or that conveniently, unattractive spare tire thing going on, but if I wear the right clothes I can bind it in and cover it up. When you're naked, you can't. It's all you lady! This is a very vulnerable position to be in when you're alone, not to mention when there's someone else there with you. While it can be really scary to face yourself naked, especially when you're not a perfect physical specimen, I'm starting to realize that it can be quite empowering. Since we've started this adventure I've been trying to change my thinking as well as my actions and I'm trying to stay on the positive end of the spectrum. I've been doing really well with the positive thinking right up until I start to assess my 'assets.' Maybe I'm the odd duck in this group but I will openly admit to assessing myself in the buff...especially now that I'm losing weight. I always come up with the same conclusions when I do these inspections...nice legs, good boobs, nice eyes...that's where the positive feelings stop. After I finish the short list, I continue on to negatively appraise the rest of my body (I won't go into the details but it's a much longer list). While it seems right to me to notice the areas of my body that I'm not happy with, the areas that I want to change, apparently it's wrong. In the back of my head I knew that it was wrong but sometimes it's easy to ignore those things stuffed way in the back. Instead of never being happy with what you have, right here in this very moment, try loving it. Even if you're overweight, or conversely you're too thin and can't gain weight and look like a prepubescent boy you have to love yourself! Even standing there naked as the day you were born, if you don't love what you see, nobody else will either.
Our whole lives we've been told that we have to love ourselves before someone else will love us. In my experience that's always been in regards to my emotional self but it makes sense that it should carry out into my physical self as well. If I'm not happy with how I look, others will pick up on the negativity and have the same negative feeling...it's kind of back to the laws of attraction that I talked about after watching The Secret. I don't think negative thoughts necessarily draw other negative thoughts to me, but if I'm putting something negative out to those around me, I will be swaying their thoughts and judgments. It's very normal for those around you to influence your feelings. Have you ever been having an amazing day and then you get around pissy people and things go downhill? Well, that's really the same concept. We are influenced by our surroundings.
Now, the one issue that I had with this article is that it sort of makes it seem like you should be happy with who you are and just deal with it. However, I don't think being happy with myself in my current state neccessarily means that I can't continue striving to improve myself. I don't think the two concpets are mutually exclusive. To be honest, I think that they HAVE to go together. If I love who I am right now, and have a very positive image of myself, it will help me to be stronger, have more confidence, more discipline and ultimately help me reach my goals as far as this lifestyle change is concerned. By loving myself everystep of the way, I am not only improving the physical Nicole but also the emotional Nicole...that's got to be a good thing! Anyway, I've jabbered on about this enough for today but I think it's really something to think about. Feel free to take a look at the article that I linked. It's a quick read if you're interested.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/01/23/o.nude.attitude/index.html
Also, I wanted to really find something to demonstrate truly loving yourself just as you are. I found this on youtube and I have to say, beyond a shadow of a doubt that these ladies most definitely feel good naked!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uit9LQC6FCg&feature=related
********
Stepped on the scale yesterday, down to 297.5! I've been doing really well with the exception of last night I had the munchies but I'm back on track today! Keep up the good work ladies and have an excellent week! Be strong and love yourselves!!!!
Now, this article is not advocating that women of all shapes and sizes walk around naked all the time and everywhere...that would be wrong and illegal...instead it focuses on women loving themselves, as they are, so much in fact that they feel good when naked. Now, I'm making a generalization here but I think that a lot of heavy woman feel like the clothes they wear cover up the fat. Yeah, I may have a big ass, wobbly arms or that conveniently, unattractive spare tire thing going on, but if I wear the right clothes I can bind it in and cover it up. When you're naked, you can't. It's all you lady! This is a very vulnerable position to be in when you're alone, not to mention when there's someone else there with you. While it can be really scary to face yourself naked, especially when you're not a perfect physical specimen, I'm starting to realize that it can be quite empowering. Since we've started this adventure I've been trying to change my thinking as well as my actions and I'm trying to stay on the positive end of the spectrum. I've been doing really well with the positive thinking right up until I start to assess my 'assets.' Maybe I'm the odd duck in this group but I will openly admit to assessing myself in the buff...especially now that I'm losing weight. I always come up with the same conclusions when I do these inspections...nice legs, good boobs, nice eyes...that's where the positive feelings stop. After I finish the short list, I continue on to negatively appraise the rest of my body (I won't go into the details but it's a much longer list). While it seems right to me to notice the areas of my body that I'm not happy with, the areas that I want to change, apparently it's wrong. In the back of my head I knew that it was wrong but sometimes it's easy to ignore those things stuffed way in the back. Instead of never being happy with what you have, right here in this very moment, try loving it. Even if you're overweight, or conversely you're too thin and can't gain weight and look like a prepubescent boy you have to love yourself! Even standing there naked as the day you were born, if you don't love what you see, nobody else will either.
Our whole lives we've been told that we have to love ourselves before someone else will love us. In my experience that's always been in regards to my emotional self but it makes sense that it should carry out into my physical self as well. If I'm not happy with how I look, others will pick up on the negativity and have the same negative feeling...it's kind of back to the laws of attraction that I talked about after watching The Secret. I don't think negative thoughts necessarily draw other negative thoughts to me, but if I'm putting something negative out to those around me, I will be swaying their thoughts and judgments. It's very normal for those around you to influence your feelings. Have you ever been having an amazing day and then you get around pissy people and things go downhill? Well, that's really the same concept. We are influenced by our surroundings.
Now, the one issue that I had with this article is that it sort of makes it seem like you should be happy with who you are and just deal with it. However, I don't think being happy with myself in my current state neccessarily means that I can't continue striving to improve myself. I don't think the two concpets are mutually exclusive. To be honest, I think that they HAVE to go together. If I love who I am right now, and have a very positive image of myself, it will help me to be stronger, have more confidence, more discipline and ultimately help me reach my goals as far as this lifestyle change is concerned. By loving myself everystep of the way, I am not only improving the physical Nicole but also the emotional Nicole...that's got to be a good thing! Anyway, I've jabbered on about this enough for today but I think it's really something to think about. Feel free to take a look at the article that I linked. It's a quick read if you're interested.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/01/23/o.nude.attitude/index.html
Also, I wanted to really find something to demonstrate truly loving yourself just as you are. I found this on youtube and I have to say, beyond a shadow of a doubt that these ladies most definitely feel good naked!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uit9LQC6FCg&feature=related
********
Stepped on the scale yesterday, down to 297.5! I've been doing really well with the exception of last night I had the munchies but I'm back on track today! Keep up the good work ladies and have an excellent week! Be strong and love yourselves!!!!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Success in a small dose
Hey ladies-
Another successful Weight Watcher's weigh-in....however I only lost 0.2 lbs. I guess I wasn't shocked because I did snack too much on various nights and I'm still bloated from this wonderful time of the month. I looked on the bright side....I didn't gain. I think I am down 13.2 lbs now if I remember correctly.
We discussed handling hunger at the meeting today. It's nothing new to us. People eat due to physical hunger and emotional hunger. Emotional hunger seems to get the best of people because it almost becomes a reflex to eat when you're upset, tired, bored, lonely, frustrated, etc. The leader suggested a tactic for those of us that do this...and we know that we all do it from time to time. Emotional eating is the reason I snack in the evenings.
First, when you get the urge to eat you stop and put your hand on your stomach. This physical motion makes you stop and evaluate your decision.
Second, you ask your self "Am I actually hungry due to physical hunger?" Is your stomach growling, do you have a headache, or do you have any other physical signs of hunger?
Third, eat if you are truly hungry....do something else if you aren't.
Seems kind of silly but I do think I'd benefit if I took that small amount of time to truly think about why I'm heading toward the kitchen for food.
We also discussed ways to prevent emotional eating. I actually had the best suggestion so I'm listing that one first. Put a note on the inside of the cupboard door that shares a message that will make you stop and think. I plan to put one on our junk food cupboard that says "STOP! Are you actually hungry?"
Other ladies suggested things like making tea, drinking water, doing a hobby, etc when you feel like emotional eating is sneaking up on you. I admit my increased amount of reading has helped me combat unnecessary eating since it's hard to read a book and stuff your face at the same time. Heck there are some nights when I just need to go to bed instead of sitting in my living room or raiding the kitchen.
I also have a struggle at Weight Watchers. I prefer going to the 10am meeting so I can get it done with and not interrupt the rest of my day. I go to meetings on Thursday since they are offered when Gavin is in school. All the other meetings are on the weekend or in the evening. Gavin hates going to the meetings so I try my best not to bring him with. There is a woman at the 10am meeting that is driving me nuts. She prevents me and other women from talking and sharing anything with the group. She is one of those people that always has an answer and needs to talk ALL THE TIME. She even interrupted people today. It seems silly that I don't like the meeting because of one person but that's how strong her impact is! I do go to the 12:15pm meeting sometimes but a lot more people attend then so there is more waiting. I can stay for the whole meeting at 10am though. I usually can't stay at the meeting after being weighed because I need to be back to work quickly. I just wish the leader would say something but she doesn't seem to mind. It's bizzare and annoying.
And here's some news for you....I think I want to move to Texas. To be continued...
Another successful Weight Watcher's weigh-in....however I only lost 0.2 lbs. I guess I wasn't shocked because I did snack too much on various nights and I'm still bloated from this wonderful time of the month. I looked on the bright side....I didn't gain. I think I am down 13.2 lbs now if I remember correctly.
We discussed handling hunger at the meeting today. It's nothing new to us. People eat due to physical hunger and emotional hunger. Emotional hunger seems to get the best of people because it almost becomes a reflex to eat when you're upset, tired, bored, lonely, frustrated, etc. The leader suggested a tactic for those of us that do this...and we know that we all do it from time to time. Emotional eating is the reason I snack in the evenings.
First, when you get the urge to eat you stop and put your hand on your stomach. This physical motion makes you stop and evaluate your decision.
Second, you ask your self "Am I actually hungry due to physical hunger?" Is your stomach growling, do you have a headache, or do you have any other physical signs of hunger?
Third, eat if you are truly hungry....do something else if you aren't.
Seems kind of silly but I do think I'd benefit if I took that small amount of time to truly think about why I'm heading toward the kitchen for food.
We also discussed ways to prevent emotional eating. I actually had the best suggestion so I'm listing that one first. Put a note on the inside of the cupboard door that shares a message that will make you stop and think. I plan to put one on our junk food cupboard that says "STOP! Are you actually hungry?"
Other ladies suggested things like making tea, drinking water, doing a hobby, etc when you feel like emotional eating is sneaking up on you. I admit my increased amount of reading has helped me combat unnecessary eating since it's hard to read a book and stuff your face at the same time. Heck there are some nights when I just need to go to bed instead of sitting in my living room or raiding the kitchen.
I also have a struggle at Weight Watchers. I prefer going to the 10am meeting so I can get it done with and not interrupt the rest of my day. I go to meetings on Thursday since they are offered when Gavin is in school. All the other meetings are on the weekend or in the evening. Gavin hates going to the meetings so I try my best not to bring him with. There is a woman at the 10am meeting that is driving me nuts. She prevents me and other women from talking and sharing anything with the group. She is one of those people that always has an answer and needs to talk ALL THE TIME. She even interrupted people today. It seems silly that I don't like the meeting because of one person but that's how strong her impact is! I do go to the 12:15pm meeting sometimes but a lot more people attend then so there is more waiting. I can stay for the whole meeting at 10am though. I usually can't stay at the meeting after being weighed because I need to be back to work quickly. I just wish the leader would say something but she doesn't seem to mind. It's bizzare and annoying.
And here's some news for you....I think I want to move to Texas. To be continued...
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Modern dance = modern tripping with an elevated heart rate
Hello all-
Well I spent a fair amount of today sitting on my ass analyzing data so when I got home, I immediately popped in my cardio VHS and did a 20 minute workout. I still feel great from it. I also reaffirmed the fact that I'm not very coordinated. Makes me laugh that I taught a dance unit when I student taught for my license. Swing dancing did have more freedom in regards to movement I guess. Needless to say, my performance was scary but my heart rate was up and I was sweating. Mission accomplished.
After the dance part (it was mambo stuff), they did a little core work and wow. I am not flexible. But hey, every little thing helps and I bet I'll be sore as hell tomorrow despite it only taking 20 minutes of my time.
I've done some overeating the past few nights so like usual I am nervous about being weighed tomorrow. But if I gained or didn't lose much it's my own doing. I'm still eating due to boredom, my period, and emotional triggers. I've learned that even Gavin's junk food seems to trigger me so I really need to keep myself out of that cupboard. My next challenge will be on Friday when he has his birthday party. The main course will be pizza so I won't eat that of course but I'll have some birthday cake. Hopefully the boys eat a lot of it so it doesn't sit here on Saturday staring at me.
Anyway, that's enough for now. I like that Nicole added a picture to the last entry. Her picture was very relevant to the blog topic....mine has no relevance at all.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Wow...
I consider myself very lucky that I work in a job that allows a certain amount of freedom when it comes to important events. I was lucky enough to get to watch the inauguration of President Obama today and I am so eternally grateful! While I realize that not everybody out there is as excited for Obama's presidency as I am, I think even doubters had to step back today and just realize how powerful today's ceremony was. There was nothing earth shatteringly new and unique about the presidential oath, it is the same oath that 43 other presidents have uttered before Obama today, however, even those against this presidency had to have seen that something was different. When I say different, I'm not just talking about the color of Obama's skin but there was a feeling of hope. Even men and women who live in DC have noticed the difference these last 2 days (and as I've learned from killing time at work by reading about the events of the past 2 days, these people are political cynics). I really hope that Obama has a lot of success in the next four years (there are a lot of people counting on him). It's not going to be an easy job, taking over the reins when the country is in the current state it is, however, he seems like he's up for a little hard work! I was online and saw this picture and it just amazed me so I thought I would share it with you...it must take a lot to inspire this kind of turn out!!
*I realize that this has nothing to do with the original purpose of this blog but I just wanted to share my thoughts with you fine ladies!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Yes....the Steelers do rule!!
I had to make mention to the Steelers....sorry. I'm still excited. I wish you both lived closer as I'd have you over on Superbowl Sunday for a healthy buffet of snacks during the game. I ate some junk during the game last night and not only did some guilt seep in but I didn't feel great when going to bed. I think my body was thinking "what the heck did you eat and why did you eat that much?" I ate some of Gavin's Easy Cheese and crackers. I was craving something salty and I gave in. It doesn't help that my craving was intesified due to my "time of the month". I typically can override cravings by positive self-talk and distraction but its amazing how strong cravings get prior to your period. However, I read something about this when I took my Human Sexuality class. Strong cravings and the need to eat make sense prior to your period. Back in the day (ages ago) women had to stock up on nutrients and calories prior to their period because you're likely to become anemic during that special time. Obviously this was an issue for hunters/gatherers because food could be in shortage and I'm sure the chicks didn't want to starve, get sick, or die. Plus they wanted to stay fertile and reproduce since that's an instinctive drive in humans. It's too bad evolution can't work its magic quicker since food shortages are typically not an issue for most women. I wouldn't mind the intense cravings going away. Sorry for the bizzare discussion but thinking about the logic of things helps me understand why I'm nuts at this time of the month.
fortunately my cravings are gone completely. Thanks to other symptoms I've felt rotten today so I've actually had to make myself eat. That's quite a change. I did have Cream of Wheat today for the first time since I was like 12. I'm a huge fan of Malt-o-Meal so I thought I'd try Cream of Wheat again. I'm glad I only bought one box as it's not as great as Malt-o-Meal. It reminds me of poriage (how do you spell that?) but throwing some fake sugar on it helped some. I'm trying to eat filling foods right away in the morning so I'm controlled at lunch and not so famished at dinner. I guess it might taste better if I made it with milk but ick. Milk is the devil.
I also thought back and realized that 9 years ago today I was in labor. I also realized that 9 years ago I was pregnant and I weighed lesss than I do now. I believe I reached 235 lbs during my pregnancy and I thought that was horrible. It's amazing how that weight snowballed as soon as I entered college and left home. But hey...that's negative speak. I might be at an undesirable weight but I'll be back down to 235 lbs and hopefully close to 200lbs some day. I just need to focus on the first 20 lbs first and meet my goal by Valentines Day. I'd like to get to a loss of 20 lbs by that holiday.
Alright, just wanted to blog as I'll be diving into work for the next few days. Happy eating!
fortunately my cravings are gone completely. Thanks to other symptoms I've felt rotten today so I've actually had to make myself eat. That's quite a change. I did have Cream of Wheat today for the first time since I was like 12. I'm a huge fan of Malt-o-Meal so I thought I'd try Cream of Wheat again. I'm glad I only bought one box as it's not as great as Malt-o-Meal. It reminds me of poriage (how do you spell that?) but throwing some fake sugar on it helped some. I'm trying to eat filling foods right away in the morning so I'm controlled at lunch and not so famished at dinner. I guess it might taste better if I made it with milk but ick. Milk is the devil.
I also thought back and realized that 9 years ago today I was in labor. I also realized that 9 years ago I was pregnant and I weighed lesss than I do now. I believe I reached 235 lbs during my pregnancy and I thought that was horrible. It's amazing how that weight snowballed as soon as I entered college and left home. But hey...that's negative speak. I might be at an undesirable weight but I'll be back down to 235 lbs and hopefully close to 200lbs some day. I just need to focus on the first 20 lbs first and meet my goal by Valentines Day. I'd like to get to a loss of 20 lbs by that holiday.
Alright, just wanted to blog as I'll be diving into work for the next few days. Happy eating!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Well ok then...
Morning Glory Muffins:
This is the recipe as I found it, I made a few changes and will make note of those at the end.
This recipe yeilds 18 muffins.
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup WW flour
1.25 c. white sugar
1 Tb ground cinnamon
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2 cups grated carrots
1 apple-peeled, cored, chopped
1c. raisins
1 egg
2 egg whites
1/2 c. apple butter
1/4 c. oil
1 Tb vanilla extract
2 Tb. chopped walnuts
2 Tb. toasted wheat germ
*For this recipe I put in 1/2 c. apple sauce for the apple butter...I don't eat apple butter.
*I used 2 over ripe bananas instead of the oil so I could use them...way good addition and it's a very moist muffin (whoa, that sounds really dirty...sorry)! Because I used to bananas the muffins are sweeter so I'm guessing the sugar could be cut in half, they're a little too sweet for my liking, but still good. I also think craisins would make a good addition in place of the raisins.
*I skipped the wheat germ because the jar was like $6 bucks and it only adds 2g. fiber to the whole batch so I didn't think it was worth it. However, if you want to add it go ahead.
1. Preheat oven to 375. Spray muffin tin with nonstick spray.
2. In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs, egg whites, applebutter, oil and vanilla.
3. In a large bowl combine flours, sugar, cinnamon, salt, baking powder and soda. Stir in carrots, apples and raisins. Stir in wet ingredients until dry ingredients are just moistened...don't over stir...as Alton Brown would say that's not good eats! Spoon batter into the muffin cups filling about 3/4 of the way.
4. In small bowl combine walnuts and wheat germ; sprinkle over muffins (I just mixed 1/2 of chopped walnuts into the mix).
5. Bake at 375 for 15-20 minutes.
Viola! Muffins!
This is the recipe as I found it, I made a few changes and will make note of those at the end.
This recipe yeilds 18 muffins.
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup WW flour
1.25 c. white sugar
1 Tb ground cinnamon
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
2 cups grated carrots
1 apple-peeled, cored, chopped
1c. raisins
1 egg
2 egg whites
1/2 c. apple butter
1/4 c. oil
1 Tb vanilla extract
2 Tb. chopped walnuts
2 Tb. toasted wheat germ
*For this recipe I put in 1/2 c. apple sauce for the apple butter...I don't eat apple butter.
*I used 2 over ripe bananas instead of the oil so I could use them...way good addition and it's a very moist muffin (whoa, that sounds really dirty...sorry)! Because I used to bananas the muffins are sweeter so I'm guessing the sugar could be cut in half, they're a little too sweet for my liking, but still good. I also think craisins would make a good addition in place of the raisins.
*I skipped the wheat germ because the jar was like $6 bucks and it only adds 2g. fiber to the whole batch so I didn't think it was worth it. However, if you want to add it go ahead.
1. Preheat oven to 375. Spray muffin tin with nonstick spray.
2. In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs, egg whites, applebutter, oil and vanilla.
3. In a large bowl combine flours, sugar, cinnamon, salt, baking powder and soda. Stir in carrots, apples and raisins. Stir in wet ingredients until dry ingredients are just moistened...don't over stir...as Alton Brown would say that's not good eats! Spoon batter into the muffin cups filling about 3/4 of the way.
4. In small bowl combine walnuts and wheat germ; sprinkle over muffins (I just mixed 1/2 of chopped walnuts into the mix).
5. Bake at 375 for 15-20 minutes.
Viola! Muffins!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Hmmm...
So, I feel compelled to blog but I really don't have anything earth shattering to share with you all this cold, snowy Saturday. I guess I'll just share some happy thoughts with you! First, I stepped on the scale this morning and weighed in at 299.7! I am so happy to be under 300 for the first time in a really long time. I am going to do my damndest to keep that number going down and I hope that I never have to put a 3 at the beginning of my weight ever again! After I weighed myself I celebrated by working out...go me! It was good, really good!
I also managed to make some really good and good for me muffins this morning. They have a lot in them but it's an easy recipe and so freakin good! I think I might start posting my recipes that I try. I know originally that was one of the things I wanted to do so maybe I'll start now. I guess along those same lines I bought a Taste of Home Healty Cooking magazine yesterday. There are some good ideas in there and I'm pretty excited to give them a try.
Hmm...I guess I could go on but I don't feel like rambling on to you poor souls any longer. Have a great weekend and keep up the good work!!
I also managed to make some really good and good for me muffins this morning. They have a lot in them but it's an easy recipe and so freakin good! I think I might start posting my recipes that I try. I know originally that was one of the things I wanted to do so maybe I'll start now. I guess along those same lines I bought a Taste of Home Healty Cooking magazine yesterday. There are some good ideas in there and I'm pretty excited to give them a try.
Hmm...I guess I could go on but I don't feel like rambling on to you poor souls any longer. Have a great weekend and keep up the good work!!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Glorious Weight Watchers
Hi all-
Well Weight Watchers was a success this week! I'm down 2.8 lbs. I know I'm going to reach my 15 lbs goal before Valentines Day. Hopefully I'll be quite close to my 20 lbs weight goal in the middle of February. I did not stay for the meeting due to an insane work schedule today. My car was also problematic so I was scared that it wasn't going to start all day. I did receive information for week 4 since Weight Watcher's has switched to the Momentum program for 2009. The theme this week is "Habits of Successful Member". You'll be pleased to know that we have a fairly good handle on many of these habits but of course there are variations since we are human and have differences.
1) Ask for help: surround yourself with supportive and motivating people.
2) Learn from experience: figure out what works and stick with it....prevent that all too common yo-yo situation
3) Manage your environment: fill your cupboards with foods that keep you on track. Those of us kicking soda to the curb are already tackling this one. I sometimes struggle because Gavin's junk food is tempting but at the same time I don't want to deny him any of his treats.
4) Manage your feelings: watch out for the feelings that trigger you to eat for comfort. This is a big one for me because stress, anger, fatigue, etc cause me to eat to feel better. This is a the habit I really need to work on and harness.
5) Manage your thoughts: trade in negative thoughts for positive one. This habit immediately makes me think of Nicole naturally.
6) Monitor yourself: accountability!!! Tracking my points and food intake help me with this habit. It's not only about the number on the scale.
7) Prepare yourself: good plans shape good decisions. People often fall off the wagon when life gets hectic and unstructured. Make the effort to plan meals and snacks. Some of us are doing well with this....I admit I slip at times. Stick with making your lunches LeAnn and it will help create permanent healthy habits.
8) Take care of yourself: respect your own needs....don't get wrapped up in the needs of others. So when life is crazy busy....take time for yourself. Take a walk when it's not bitterly cold. Watch your favorite tv show. Hang out with friends.
I think I've posted those before but hey...never hurts to review good tips.
Well Weight Watchers was a success this week! I'm down 2.8 lbs. I know I'm going to reach my 15 lbs goal before Valentines Day. Hopefully I'll be quite close to my 20 lbs weight goal in the middle of February. I did not stay for the meeting due to an insane work schedule today. My car was also problematic so I was scared that it wasn't going to start all day. I did receive information for week 4 since Weight Watcher's has switched to the Momentum program for 2009. The theme this week is "Habits of Successful Member". You'll be pleased to know that we have a fairly good handle on many of these habits but of course there are variations since we are human and have differences.
1) Ask for help: surround yourself with supportive and motivating people.
2) Learn from experience: figure out what works and stick with it....prevent that all too common yo-yo situation
3) Manage your environment: fill your cupboards with foods that keep you on track. Those of us kicking soda to the curb are already tackling this one. I sometimes struggle because Gavin's junk food is tempting but at the same time I don't want to deny him any of his treats.
4) Manage your feelings: watch out for the feelings that trigger you to eat for comfort. This is a big one for me because stress, anger, fatigue, etc cause me to eat to feel better. This is a the habit I really need to work on and harness.
5) Manage your thoughts: trade in negative thoughts for positive one. This habit immediately makes me think of Nicole naturally.
6) Monitor yourself: accountability!!! Tracking my points and food intake help me with this habit. It's not only about the number on the scale.
7) Prepare yourself: good plans shape good decisions. People often fall off the wagon when life gets hectic and unstructured. Make the effort to plan meals and snacks. Some of us are doing well with this....I admit I slip at times. Stick with making your lunches LeAnn and it will help create permanent healthy habits.
8) Take care of yourself: respect your own needs....don't get wrapped up in the needs of others. So when life is crazy busy....take time for yourself. Take a walk when it's not bitterly cold. Watch your favorite tv show. Hang out with friends.
I think I've posted those before but hey...never hurts to review good tips.
I look like an idiot...
but at this point I think I'm OK with it! I believe earlier this week I told you that I got my dance work out videos and well, I've finally had a chance to try them! The Dance Work Outs for Dummies will be a really great asset to my weight loss, the other DVD, not so much. The first night I had the DVDs I watched the tutorial and I think I figured out why they call it Dance Work Out for Dummies, cuz that's how I looked! I have a very limited background in all areas related to dance. I think if you're hot and really fit (like the instructor in this video) you don't look so silly but I definitely don't fall into that category...yet! When I first started the tutorial section (it breaks up some of the steps so you know how to do them in the actual work outs) I felt like a pretty big tool and was very grateful for the fact that I pulled all of the shades before I started doing my thing. I don't know why I am so self-conscious when I'm at home. It's not like my cat is sitting there judging me (she probably thinks I've lost my mind but she's not judging)! Any way, I decided to stop being so critical of myself and decided to just have fun. After all, that is the reason that I wanted to get dancing videos for myself. Anyway, I'm still running through the tutorial each night until I get the steps down really well but I've also tried my hand at the work-outs and when I can follow them they will be so much fun...actually it's fun now, I just feel a bit lost and spend a lot of time laughing at myself!
Along with my attempts at dancing I feel like I have been doing well with my eating this week. I feel like I've been making wise decisions as to what I've been eating (making healthy substitutes where possible) and I don't really feel like I'm missing out on anything...hell I even had totally guilt-free ice cream last night! I love the they make the little cups. While they tend to be a bit more expensive in the long run, I eat them slower and it's a single serving so the whole portion control issue becomes non-existent! I'm still not drinking pop and it's surprisingly easy at this point...the hardest part is getting out of the habit of drinking it. Oddly enough, if you don't buy pop it's a lot easier to not drink it also! Although, to be honest, I still have 3 cans of dt. coke in the cupboard!!! Take that temptation-monster!!!
Any way, I should probably stop blogging and go back to being totally bored at work...thank GOD tomorrow is Friday (one of our busiest days in clinic). I wish you all luck tonight with snacking and the like. Stay warm!!
Oh yeah, I almost forgot...because I've been so bored at work I've been searching online for helpful hints for our life style change. Sadly, it's either sketchy advice or it's stuff that we already know for the most part. Instead, I managed to stumble across an inspirational quote that I think is very fitting for us. So here you go...Nicole's Inspirational Thought of the Day:
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. Robert Collier
How true it that?!?!? It's not about one big thing, it's about making a lot of small, positive choices again and again!
Alright, I'm really done this time!
Along with my attempts at dancing I feel like I have been doing well with my eating this week. I feel like I've been making wise decisions as to what I've been eating (making healthy substitutes where possible) and I don't really feel like I'm missing out on anything...hell I even had totally guilt-free ice cream last night! I love the they make the little cups. While they tend to be a bit more expensive in the long run, I eat them slower and it's a single serving so the whole portion control issue becomes non-existent! I'm still not drinking pop and it's surprisingly easy at this point...the hardest part is getting out of the habit of drinking it. Oddly enough, if you don't buy pop it's a lot easier to not drink it also! Although, to be honest, I still have 3 cans of dt. coke in the cupboard!!! Take that temptation-monster!!!
Any way, I should probably stop blogging and go back to being totally bored at work...thank GOD tomorrow is Friday (one of our busiest days in clinic). I wish you all luck tonight with snacking and the like. Stay warm!!
Oh yeah, I almost forgot...because I've been so bored at work I've been searching online for helpful hints for our life style change. Sadly, it's either sketchy advice or it's stuff that we already know for the most part. Instead, I managed to stumble across an inspirational quote that I think is very fitting for us. So here you go...Nicole's Inspirational Thought of the Day:
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. Robert Collier
How true it that?!?!? It's not about one big thing, it's about making a lot of small, positive choices again and again!
Alright, I'm really done this time!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Resisting temptation
So its almost 10:30pm and I'm sort of hungry. I keep wanting to slink off into the kitchen and eat some of Gavin's "Easy Cheese" and crackers. Fortunately I have some cucumber cut up into slices so that's tiding me over. In the past, I would have probably made a small meal by heating up a can of soup or some pasta. I refuse to do that tonight. I'm going to sit here and sip my tea.
I'm feeling pretty good about Weight Watcher's in the morning. Well I don't look forward to attending the meeting in the freezing cold. I'm hoping to make the 10am meeting but not sure that will happen since I need to work at both jobs before that. Gavin doesn't have school so maybe we can get an early start and get things done prior to 9:45am.
My friend Tiffany stopped by tonight to discuss some plans. She and I are going to try and meet weekly on Wednesdays. We want to review the Love Hunger book and discuss the trials and tribulations of losing weight. She's losing weight for her upcoming wedding in August (August 1st Nicole). She made me realize how much I miss The Cafe. (It's a great restaurant in Ames). She mentioned that she looked at the menu and now I'm craving their Mac 'n Cheese. It's baked in the oven and comes with amazing garlic bread.
I hope you ladies brave the cold well. I guess we are reaching record lows that we haven't seen in 15 years. I think I'm done rambling now and I have no desire to raid my kitchen anymore either. Kudos!
I'm feeling pretty good about Weight Watcher's in the morning. Well I don't look forward to attending the meeting in the freezing cold. I'm hoping to make the 10am meeting but not sure that will happen since I need to work at both jobs before that. Gavin doesn't have school so maybe we can get an early start and get things done prior to 9:45am.
My friend Tiffany stopped by tonight to discuss some plans. She and I are going to try and meet weekly on Wednesdays. We want to review the Love Hunger book and discuss the trials and tribulations of losing weight. She's losing weight for her upcoming wedding in August (August 1st Nicole). She made me realize how much I miss The Cafe. (It's a great restaurant in Ames). She mentioned that she looked at the menu and now I'm craving their Mac 'n Cheese. It's baked in the oven and comes with amazing garlic bread.
I hope you ladies brave the cold well. I guess we are reaching record lows that we haven't seen in 15 years. I think I'm done rambling now and I have no desire to raid my kitchen anymore either. Kudos!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Hey Ladies
Well I saw an interesting commercial this week that caught my attention. I guess Discovery Health has developed an exercise/diet program that people can do for free. The commercial features a woman exercising and she isn't rail thin!!! Haven't you ever noticed that exercise or gym commercials typically feature thin and extremely fit people? They don't really cater to the populations that need a boost in activity. I personally get turned off when I see a typical gym commercial because I don't want to surround myself people that still look good when sweating. I was happy to see that Discovery Health realizes that overweight people need to exercise and be included in advertising too.
My eating has gone well today and yesterday. I went to Hy-Vee today to get vegetables for salads. Baked a chicken breast and added it to the salad and yum! Exercise though...no go yet. I keep burying myself in work instead of taking a break and working out. And I appreciate your advice in an earlier blog Nicole. I just need to devote 15-20 minutes a few times a week and develop the habit of exercising so it doesn't seem so intrusive. I of course knew that starting slow and easy was key but neglected to utilize that knowledge. I also took another look at my finances today and the treadmill should be feasible. But of course I wonder now....what is the point of spending that kind of money if I'm not going to use the treadmill on a regular basis? I don't dare buy it and end up sticking it in a corner or pile stuff on it for storage.
Enough rambling for now....needed put some things in writing as I take a break from work.
My eating has gone well today and yesterday. I went to Hy-Vee today to get vegetables for salads. Baked a chicken breast and added it to the salad and yum! Exercise though...no go yet. I keep burying myself in work instead of taking a break and working out. And I appreciate your advice in an earlier blog Nicole. I just need to devote 15-20 minutes a few times a week and develop the habit of exercising so it doesn't seem so intrusive. I of course knew that starting slow and easy was key but neglected to utilize that knowledge. I also took another look at my finances today and the treadmill should be feasible. But of course I wonder now....what is the point of spending that kind of money if I'm not going to use the treadmill on a regular basis? I don't dare buy it and end up sticking it in a corner or pile stuff on it for storage.
Enough rambling for now....needed put some things in writing as I take a break from work.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Dance, Dance...
Hey ladies, I thought I'd just check in fast and leave my two cents. First, Jenny I was thinking about the exercise thing and I have a thought. In my years of schooling I have come across some tidbits that really can help people when beginning a new exercise regime. There are 3 stages to any major exercise program and we're both in the intial stage right now. The most important aspect of this stage is not the exercise itself, which seems a bit contradictory. The key is getting in the habit of doing the exercise. Making time in our lives for an exercise routine. Experts actually say that when you're fist starting all you should do is 10-15 minutes 3 times per week and make yourself stick to it. When that becomes easy then add another day, then more time, then another day, then more time. It's only when working out becomes a real habit that you'll stick with it. Now obviously you don't have to listen to me because I am no expert at all but it's just some food for thought!
Second order of business...DANCING!!! So, I have recently decided that I really like to dance. Well, not so much recently but I've recently considered dancing as an excellent source of exercise for myself. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a terrible dancer and I have no dillusions of grandure on the dancefloor but I think it might be a really good way for me to get into the habit of doing my physical activity. I recently purchased 2 DVD's from Amazon that are dance/fitness workouts and they came today!!! I can't wait to try them! I'll have to report back.
My eating has been really good for the most part. I think I had 2 illegal chocolate covered cherries on Saturday and I definitely had a questionable bowl of cereal but other than that I've been really good. I am also very happy to report that it has been 1 week since my last pop (this is really big)!!! I also haven't eaten out in over a week. I hope to keep cooking at home, it's so much better for me and way cheaper! I guess the only other thing to report here is that my new recipe last week was sausage, spinach and mushroom lasagne...amazing!
Alright, dancing and then food! Have a great night ladies and keep up the good work!!
Second order of business...DANCING!!! So, I have recently decided that I really like to dance. Well, not so much recently but I've recently considered dancing as an excellent source of exercise for myself. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a terrible dancer and I have no dillusions of grandure on the dancefloor but I think it might be a really good way for me to get into the habit of doing my physical activity. I recently purchased 2 DVD's from Amazon that are dance/fitness workouts and they came today!!! I can't wait to try them! I'll have to report back.
My eating has been really good for the most part. I think I had 2 illegal chocolate covered cherries on Saturday and I definitely had a questionable bowl of cereal but other than that I've been really good. I am also very happy to report that it has been 1 week since my last pop (this is really big)!!! I also haven't eaten out in over a week. I hope to keep cooking at home, it's so much better for me and way cheaper! I guess the only other thing to report here is that my new recipe last week was sausage, spinach and mushroom lasagne...amazing!
Alright, dancing and then food! Have a great night ladies and keep up the good work!!
Doctor Doctor!
Hey ladies-
Time for some more accountability. I went in for a scheduled doctor's appointment today and she decided to do some bloodwork to see where I stand in regards to my blood sugar, cholesterol, and triglycerides. Luckily I didn't eat breakfast so I was in a fasting state and the tests could be done. See, it pays to not eat breakfast sometimes.
My blood sugar test came back fine. Whew. My cholesterol was high though. The grand total was 211 and it should be below 200. They looked at both my HDL (health cholesterol) and LDL (bad cholesterol). My HDL was 66! Women should have a HDL of at least 50-60 so I passed that part. My LDL was 75 which is good because having a HDL less than 100 is optimal. So even though my overall cholesterol is higher than desired, my HDL and LDL levels are fine. Whew.
My triglycerides were horrible though. The test says they are at 349! It is desired to have a level of 150 or less. Mine were more than doubled obviously. I blame all my overeating in the past years. Basically whatever calories that are not converted into energy immediately are stored as triglycerides. I've eaten excess calories every day for years so I shouldn't be shocked that my level was so high.
So, not only is my weight keeping me accountable but now I can keep track of my blood work numbers and develop some accountability that way. I have to get my overall cholesterol and triglycerides down lower. I plan to get bloodwork done in May again so I have time to make a change and lose more weight. No heart attacks or heart disease for this lady!
Time for some more accountability. I went in for a scheduled doctor's appointment today and she decided to do some bloodwork to see where I stand in regards to my blood sugar, cholesterol, and triglycerides. Luckily I didn't eat breakfast so I was in a fasting state and the tests could be done. See, it pays to not eat breakfast sometimes.
My blood sugar test came back fine. Whew. My cholesterol was high though. The grand total was 211 and it should be below 200. They looked at both my HDL (health cholesterol) and LDL (bad cholesterol). My HDL was 66! Women should have a HDL of at least 50-60 so I passed that part. My LDL was 75 which is good because having a HDL less than 100 is optimal. So even though my overall cholesterol is higher than desired, my HDL and LDL levels are fine. Whew.
My triglycerides were horrible though. The test says they are at 349! It is desired to have a level of 150 or less. Mine were more than doubled obviously. I blame all my overeating in the past years. Basically whatever calories that are not converted into energy immediately are stored as triglycerides. I've eaten excess calories every day for years so I shouldn't be shocked that my level was so high.
So, not only is my weight keeping me accountable but now I can keep track of my blood work numbers and develop some accountability that way. I have to get my overall cholesterol and triglycerides down lower. I plan to get bloodwork done in May again so I have time to make a change and lose more weight. No heart attacks or heart disease for this lady!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
No worries, "non-angry Jenny" has returned!
Sunday was a tame day. Nothing pissed me off! I had plans to go to to church but staying up until 3am didn't help me wake up on time. I was so restless last night and I kept my tv on I stayed up entirely too late. I woke up at 10:45am and decided to not go to work when I was supposed to...Gavin and I went to the early bird matinee and saw "Marley and Me". I then proceeded to go to the greenhouse after that to water. Probably should have gone before the movie because some rooms were getting dry but nothing died.
My Steelers won today too so that helped my spirits. I'd probably be "bitter Jenny" right now if they had lost to the Chargers.
On a different topic all together, I abided by the law of Weight Watchers today. I've currently used 29 out of my 35 points today. I'm munching on dill pickles at the moment as they are zero points. I also realized how low in points turkey bacon actually is....only 1 point per slice! Too bad it doesn't taste slightly better. As long as I eat it on a BLT I'm fine but I don't think I could eat it plain. Ick. I really need to explore some new foods. My poor eating has resulted from emotional events but I'm also getting bored of my usual meals too. I've started craving Tuna Helper which yes is fine, but I tend to eat the whole box of it. Only eating 3/4 of a cup (one serving) does not satisfy the Tuna Helper craving. I'll let this complaint lead into my goals for this week:
1) I will only eat when I'm hungry. No more eating due to boredom or my emotions. It's getting ridiculous and I'm undoing hard work.
2) I will go to HyVee and get lettuce, more veggies, and other foods so I can shake-up my diet. I'm so bored with my ravioli, other pastas, tomato soup, and fiber one bars. I want to create a lasagna.
3) Exercise....hmmm. I want to work out 2-3 times this week for at least 30 minutes during each bout. I never meet this goal. I already feel uncertain about it but I need to be more active. I still have that slug feeling and sitting on my ass won't do anything about it.
4) I have to be in bed before midnight. Not getting enough hours of sleep per night affects the hormones in your body that control appetite and fullness. No wonder I'm hungry all the time.
My Steelers won today too so that helped my spirits. I'd probably be "bitter Jenny" right now if they had lost to the Chargers.
On a different topic all together, I abided by the law of Weight Watchers today. I've currently used 29 out of my 35 points today. I'm munching on dill pickles at the moment as they are zero points. I also realized how low in points turkey bacon actually is....only 1 point per slice! Too bad it doesn't taste slightly better. As long as I eat it on a BLT I'm fine but I don't think I could eat it plain. Ick. I really need to explore some new foods. My poor eating has resulted from emotional events but I'm also getting bored of my usual meals too. I've started craving Tuna Helper which yes is fine, but I tend to eat the whole box of it. Only eating 3/4 of a cup (one serving) does not satisfy the Tuna Helper craving. I'll let this complaint lead into my goals for this week:
1) I will only eat when I'm hungry. No more eating due to boredom or my emotions. It's getting ridiculous and I'm undoing hard work.
2) I will go to HyVee and get lettuce, more veggies, and other foods so I can shake-up my diet. I'm so bored with my ravioli, other pastas, tomato soup, and fiber one bars. I want to create a lasagna.
3) Exercise....hmmm. I want to work out 2-3 times this week for at least 30 minutes during each bout. I never meet this goal. I already feel uncertain about it but I need to be more active. I still have that slug feeling and sitting on my ass won't do anything about it.
4) I have to be in bed before midnight. Not getting enough hours of sleep per night affects the hormones in your body that control appetite and fullness. No wonder I'm hungry all the time.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Damn right life isn't fair!!!
Nicole has a valid point about how life isn't fair but her point that life is GOOD totally overrides it. I had a craptastic day. Things were dandy until about 2pm. We got to sleep in and I worked at the greenhouse. Gavin then reminded me (thank god) that he had a basketball game today. I honestly thought it was tomorrow. So instead of going to an early movie (Marley and Me), I watched him play basketball. Watching the game was great...always enjoy watching kids have fun. He's in a Christian-based basketball league so fairness, equality, etc are a big focus. I immediately noticed before half time that Gavin was sitting out more than anyone else. Last year everyone sat out for an equal amount of time and I'm pretty sure that rule still stands. The kids also get iron-on colored stars after the game depending on if you did well with defense, offense, effort, sportsmanship, etc. Everyone is supposed to get a star and the coach hands out stars to 5 out of the 7 kids. He then makes a comment that anyone that didn't get a star needs to try harder and do better next week. I should have said something then and there but the coach is new and I didn't want to make a scene in front of all the parents. I tried to pull him aside after but he wasn't available and really seemed to be in a hurry to leave. I did speak the the lady in charge of the program though and she was not happy. Apparently the guy has not read through his coach's manual (since it's his first time coaching) and she keeps having to correct him about protocol and procedures for the program. Anyway, by the time I left the building I was extremely irritated.
I was bothered by something else during the game. I feel bad about this but it's becoming more and more apparent that Gavin isn't very athletic. Most people would think "big deal, have him do something else besides sports." Well I'm big into sports and I really look forward to watching him play games in middle school and high school. Most sports came easy to me but Gavin struggled with flag football this fall and he's also struggling with basketball. I know he's still young but the skill difference between him and the other 3rd/4th grade boys is becoming more obvious. He still enjoys the game but he's realizing that the other boys aren't passing to him much and he does usually turn the ball over or make a mistake if he does get the ball. I feel bad but I can't help but feel disappointed about it all.
Back to Nicole's point though....yes some of my comments and opinions about life don't seem to be fair but I'm damn lucky to have a healthy and happy child. I wish I would think of those things first before critiquing his athleticism but I guess that's part of being human sometimes.
Anyway, the peak of my anger occurred at good 'ol Walmart. I bumped into "Mr. Football" (yes I actually call him that). He and I have hung out for about six months now. Even had a discussion around Thanksgiving about dating. Well I bumped into him and said "hi". He proceeded to say "Do I know you?" and turned around and walked away. I also saw him by the registers and he had a "I'm in trouble" and sort of a "sorry" look on his face. He was with a coworker I believe and Gavin was with me. I don't see why I'm so embarassing to acknowledge. I honestly thought he and I had a nice, solid friendship (yes there were other perks) but his behavior today was intolerable. He made me feel cheap and my self-esteem immediately plunged to an all time low as he walked away. And guess what I did? Gavin and I went to Hickory Park after our shopping trip and I attempted to eat the bad feelings away. Not only do I still feel emotionally hurt after the meal, I physically feel sick from my choice of food. I had planned on getting a salad but changed my mind right when our order was taken. I had a grilled cheese and French Fries. Gavin and I also shared breaded cheese balls. In the past, before I started to make lifestyle changes, the food may have made me feel better. But now that I have goals and a mission to be healthier, I hate what I did. It didn't work and it's keeping me another day away from hopping back onto my Weight Watcher's routine.
A mixture of saddness, anger, and guilt overwhelmed me on the way home. I had to pull over and just cry for awhile. I'm so unhappy with the state of my life right now. And deep down I know that if I get my eating/exercise under control other things would fall into place. I really need to keep my spirits high this month since it marks the anniversary of a death in our family. I don't want Gavin to see me constantly unhappy. After more of these feelings fade, I'll write again so I can set up some goals for the week and proceed with my Weight Watcher's program. If I lose this week, it is going be such an uplifting time for me.
Thanks for listening to my rants and raves.
I was bothered by something else during the game. I feel bad about this but it's becoming more and more apparent that Gavin isn't very athletic. Most people would think "big deal, have him do something else besides sports." Well I'm big into sports and I really look forward to watching him play games in middle school and high school. Most sports came easy to me but Gavin struggled with flag football this fall and he's also struggling with basketball. I know he's still young but the skill difference between him and the other 3rd/4th grade boys is becoming more obvious. He still enjoys the game but he's realizing that the other boys aren't passing to him much and he does usually turn the ball over or make a mistake if he does get the ball. I feel bad but I can't help but feel disappointed about it all.
Back to Nicole's point though....yes some of my comments and opinions about life don't seem to be fair but I'm damn lucky to have a healthy and happy child. I wish I would think of those things first before critiquing his athleticism but I guess that's part of being human sometimes.
Anyway, the peak of my anger occurred at good 'ol Walmart. I bumped into "Mr. Football" (yes I actually call him that). He and I have hung out for about six months now. Even had a discussion around Thanksgiving about dating. Well I bumped into him and said "hi". He proceeded to say "Do I know you?" and turned around and walked away. I also saw him by the registers and he had a "I'm in trouble" and sort of a "sorry" look on his face. He was with a coworker I believe and Gavin was with me. I don't see why I'm so embarassing to acknowledge. I honestly thought he and I had a nice, solid friendship (yes there were other perks) but his behavior today was intolerable. He made me feel cheap and my self-esteem immediately plunged to an all time low as he walked away. And guess what I did? Gavin and I went to Hickory Park after our shopping trip and I attempted to eat the bad feelings away. Not only do I still feel emotionally hurt after the meal, I physically feel sick from my choice of food. I had planned on getting a salad but changed my mind right when our order was taken. I had a grilled cheese and French Fries. Gavin and I also shared breaded cheese balls. In the past, before I started to make lifestyle changes, the food may have made me feel better. But now that I have goals and a mission to be healthier, I hate what I did. It didn't work and it's keeping me another day away from hopping back onto my Weight Watcher's routine.
A mixture of saddness, anger, and guilt overwhelmed me on the way home. I had to pull over and just cry for awhile. I'm so unhappy with the state of my life right now. And deep down I know that if I get my eating/exercise under control other things would fall into place. I really need to keep my spirits high this month since it marks the anniversary of a death in our family. I don't want Gavin to see me constantly unhappy. After more of these feelings fade, I'll write again so I can set up some goals for the week and proceed with my Weight Watcher's program. If I lose this week, it is going be such an uplifting time for me.
Thanks for listening to my rants and raves.
Life isn't always fair but it's always good...
I remember many occasions when I was little, and even a few when I wasn't so little, when I didn't get what I wanted from my mom and I would shout, 'that's not fair!!!' and get the swift reply, 'life's not fair!' I always hated it when she would say that. It was like she pulled out the big guns and the conversation was over. Whether I wanted to go to a movie with a friend or I didn't want to go to bed early those three little words held the same meaning, I was going to comply with her wishes, no arguing. As I got older in life, the things that didn't seem fair as a child faded. I was grateful for the fact that she didn't let me watch scary movies and even more grateful for the fact that she made me bathe everyday (I am so glad I was never known as the stinky kid). Although my worries and concerns of unfairness when I was child faded, they were, unfortunately, replaced with adult worries. I can't count the number of times that, as a rational and mature adult (yeah, yeah, I know...) I've looked at others and their lives and accomplishments and thought, that is so not fair!
Being a 26 y.o. single woman, it is so easy to get caught up in the lives of those around me. I don't remember when happily married/attached women and women who have jobs that pay enough for them to no longer worry about paying the bills became my arch nemesis. I've been single for as long as I can remember, however, I always had the attitude of as long as my friends and family are happy I'm good. For the longest time, that was true. It didn't matter if I was still free as long as those who mattered most to me were happy. Now I find my self very envious of those who have what I want. I don't know if it's the whole being closer to 30 than 20 thing or if I've just had more time to think about it since moving to Michigan but these thoughts seem to be in my head more and I just keep thinking over and over again, this is NOT fair. I'm smart, nice, funny and for the most part pretty, why in the hell haven't I gotten mine...NOT FAIR!!!
Alas, I have come to the conclusion that my mother's succinct response is, in fact true, life's not fair. Now, while I could lament this fact, eat a pint of rocky road and cry while watching An Affair to Remember (which is an amazing movie by the way) I have decided to go a different direction. While I do think that life is not fair, I still think that life is good. Part of my new year's goal is to try and keep on the positive side of things. Instead of focusing on what I don't have I need to be really greatful for all of the amazing things and people that I do have in my life. I have what I (in my humble opinion) feel is the most amazing family in the world. I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I have a really great job where I am learning so much. I have a comfortable bed, warm clothes and roof over my head. I have even recently reached the 20 pound mark in my weight loss attempts. What one person deserves so many great things!?!?!?!
Now, I realize that this blog has very little to do with weight loss but when we started this adventure, we wanted to make it a lifestyle change, not just diet. I think reexaminging our attitudes will be very helpful as we make our way into the next stretch of this journey. So, keep plugging along ladies, and remember, even though it's not fair...LIFE IS GOOD!!!
Being a 26 y.o. single woman, it is so easy to get caught up in the lives of those around me. I don't remember when happily married/attached women and women who have jobs that pay enough for them to no longer worry about paying the bills became my arch nemesis. I've been single for as long as I can remember, however, I always had the attitude of as long as my friends and family are happy I'm good. For the longest time, that was true. It didn't matter if I was still free as long as those who mattered most to me were happy. Now I find my self very envious of those who have what I want. I don't know if it's the whole being closer to 30 than 20 thing or if I've just had more time to think about it since moving to Michigan but these thoughts seem to be in my head more and I just keep thinking over and over again, this is NOT fair. I'm smart, nice, funny and for the most part pretty, why in the hell haven't I gotten mine...NOT FAIR!!!
Alas, I have come to the conclusion that my mother's succinct response is, in fact true, life's not fair. Now, while I could lament this fact, eat a pint of rocky road and cry while watching An Affair to Remember (which is an amazing movie by the way) I have decided to go a different direction. While I do think that life is not fair, I still think that life is good. Part of my new year's goal is to try and keep on the positive side of things. Instead of focusing on what I don't have I need to be really greatful for all of the amazing things and people that I do have in my life. I have what I (in my humble opinion) feel is the most amazing family in the world. I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I have a really great job where I am learning so much. I have a comfortable bed, warm clothes and roof over my head. I have even recently reached the 20 pound mark in my weight loss attempts. What one person deserves so many great things!?!?!?!
Now, I realize that this blog has very little to do with weight loss but when we started this adventure, we wanted to make it a lifestyle change, not just diet. I think reexaminging our attitudes will be very helpful as we make our way into the next stretch of this journey. So, keep plugging along ladies, and remember, even though it's not fair...LIFE IS GOOD!!!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Back to good 'ol Weight Watchers
Howdy all-
I don't have anything profound to say tonight but I did go to my Weight Watcher's meeting today. I woke up and I knew I had to go despite my gain since Christmas. I actually wanted to go.....it was odd. Unlike most Thursdays though, I was unable to stay for the actual meeting portion. I just got weighed and left since I had a busy afternoon and needed to be back at work by 1pm. So here comes the accountability portion of today's blog....since my WW meeting on 12/18/08 I have gained 3.4 lbs. I'm now back at my 10 lbs weight loss. Honestly I thought I gained more and I probably did but I've been eating better since my return to Ames. I now weigh 271.8 lbs.
I finally read that article in Reader's Digest article about weight loss fully. I'd like to make some more comments on relative topics that pertain to us but I just don't have the motivation tonight. I'll make that information available sometime this weekend. I still have some thesis work to do tonight and I need to prepare for a research trip tomorrow. The location is 3 hours away from Ames so I'm trying to get pumped up about spending most of my Friday on the road LOL.
I'm also creating some goals this weekend so I get a boost in my physical activity next week. I feel like a slug!!! A slug that doensn't exercise!!
I don't have anything profound to say tonight but I did go to my Weight Watcher's meeting today. I woke up and I knew I had to go despite my gain since Christmas. I actually wanted to go.....it was odd. Unlike most Thursdays though, I was unable to stay for the actual meeting portion. I just got weighed and left since I had a busy afternoon and needed to be back at work by 1pm. So here comes the accountability portion of today's blog....since my WW meeting on 12/18/08 I have gained 3.4 lbs. I'm now back at my 10 lbs weight loss. Honestly I thought I gained more and I probably did but I've been eating better since my return to Ames. I now weigh 271.8 lbs.
I finally read that article in Reader's Digest article about weight loss fully. I'd like to make some more comments on relative topics that pertain to us but I just don't have the motivation tonight. I'll make that information available sometime this weekend. I still have some thesis work to do tonight and I need to prepare for a research trip tomorrow. The location is 3 hours away from Ames so I'm trying to get pumped up about spending most of my Friday on the road LOL.
I'm also creating some goals this weekend so I get a boost in my physical activity next week. I feel like a slug!!! A slug that doensn't exercise!!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Don't be anti-anything....
be pro-something! In a far better mood tonight than I was in last night (could have something to do with 25 mintes of dancing around and then 20 minutes of lifting) I am back to my thoughts on The Secret and how I'm trying to apply it to the task at hand. Again, the movie is all about the law of attraction and how the objects of our thoughts are attracted to us (whether we are thinking of it in a positive or negative way). For example, if I keep thinking I'm fat and lonely and don't want to be, I will continue to be fat and lonely. The energy of the earth apparently has very selective hearing and only listens to the fat and lonely (not the I don't want it) part and therefore brings it to me. While I think this is hogwash (to put it nicely), I did get to thinking about the concept of being pro, not anti.
I always considered myself a positive person. Compared to many I am a pretty glass half-full kind of girl. However, now that I think about it I do have a lot of anti-thoughts. I am anti-3/4 sleeve coats and long gloves, anti-brussels sprouts, anti-men wearing pink and anti-lots more things that have no relevance or real importance in my life. Upon closer examination, I have decided that I am also anti several things that do have some impact on my life. For weeks I have been losing sleep because I was anti-thesis-not-being-done and anti-being-alone. Now, as someone who is very, VERY pro-sleep this is a problem. As I contemplated blogging yesterday I decided to change my thoughts. Instead of being anti-thesis, I should be pro-making progress. As silly as it sounds, I fell asleep last night without an ounce of trouble. I also decided that instead of making myself a moody, depressive, recluse, I would decide to make the best of my time alone here in Michigan. I spent almost an hour working out tonight when I got home...not only is it good for me physically but it is helping me mentally. I am going to try very hard in the next weeks and months (and God I hope not years!) to keep a positive outlook on things. I'm living in Michigan not Siberia!
Anyway, I know that this blog is a little jumbled and not the most eloquent piece of prose that I've ever written, however, my stomach is growling and I wanted to get this down before I got to dinner. I leave you with this. Think about anti-thoughts that you have and see if you can turn them into pro-statements (in particular, think about your thoughts on weightloss and physical acitivy).
Keep up the good work ladies!!!
I always considered myself a positive person. Compared to many I am a pretty glass half-full kind of girl. However, now that I think about it I do have a lot of anti-thoughts. I am anti-3/4 sleeve coats and long gloves, anti-brussels sprouts, anti-men wearing pink and anti-lots more things that have no relevance or real importance in my life. Upon closer examination, I have decided that I am also anti several things that do have some impact on my life. For weeks I have been losing sleep because I was anti-thesis-not-being-done and anti-being-alone. Now, as someone who is very, VERY pro-sleep this is a problem. As I contemplated blogging yesterday I decided to change my thoughts. Instead of being anti-thesis, I should be pro-making progress. As silly as it sounds, I fell asleep last night without an ounce of trouble. I also decided that instead of making myself a moody, depressive, recluse, I would decide to make the best of my time alone here in Michigan. I spent almost an hour working out tonight when I got home...not only is it good for me physically but it is helping me mentally. I am going to try very hard in the next weeks and months (and God I hope not years!) to keep a positive outlook on things. I'm living in Michigan not Siberia!
Anyway, I know that this blog is a little jumbled and not the most eloquent piece of prose that I've ever written, however, my stomach is growling and I wanted to get this down before I got to dinner. I leave you with this. Think about anti-thoughts that you have and see if you can turn them into pro-statements (in particular, think about your thoughts on weightloss and physical acitivy).
Keep up the good work ladies!!!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Pity party, table of one...
Hey ladies. I just thought I would drop by for a while. Sadly, I don't have anything uplifting from The Secret today I was just feeling a little blue and thought I would make sure you're all doing well. I can see that Jenny's stressed so maybe it's just something in the air today.
While I was sitting in my chair feeling sorry for myself I decided that it was probably not the most productive way to spend my evening so I decided to do a little work on the thesis, dance around for 15 minutes (that was amazing) and now I'm doing dishes. It's amazing how much better I feel when I'm doing something even as mundane as the dishes...shit ladies, I need to get me some friends! Anyway, keep up the good work and remember, stay positive!
While I was sitting in my chair feeling sorry for myself I decided that it was probably not the most productive way to spend my evening so I decided to do a little work on the thesis, dance around for 15 minutes (that was amazing) and now I'm doing dishes. It's amazing how much better I feel when I'm doing something even as mundane as the dishes...shit ladies, I need to get me some friends! Anyway, keep up the good work and remember, stay positive!
Just taking a break....
Well ladies....I've really done it this time. My adviser is expecting my thesis data tomorrow and let me tell ya....it's not all entered. I've spent today working on it and its taking a lot longer than I expected. I could have worked on it over break but didn't. Hell it could have been completed in October, November or be4 break. (I'm using my laptop so that certain key is still broken) Luckily all this stress today didn't trigger my need to eat. I think it actually made me less hungry which is odd. Anyway, I'm going to try and get as much done as I can tonight, without staying up all night. I'll probably have to get up early and work on it be4 Gavin goes to school in the morning. I wish I didn't have to work at the greenhouse tomorrow. That is one hour I could really use here at home.
Anyway, I'm taking a break right now since the laptop screen seems to making me crossed eyed with all the numbers I'm dealing with. Hope you all had a pleasant day!
Anyway, I'm taking a break right now since the laptop screen seems to making me crossed eyed with all the numbers I'm dealing with. Hope you all had a pleasant day!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Take the first step...
Goals, we all have them and for many of us they seem so very far away. When we started this blog in Sept. my initial goal was to lose 100 pounds. As I sit here and type I am 10 pounds lighter than I was when I made my first blog entry 3 months ago. Initially I was hoping to be an extra ten poinds slimmer than I am today. So much for the best laid plans! Although it might not seem like it, my intended goal for the blog entry is not to focus on total pounds lost or pounds unlost that I really wish were gone but on the weight loss process in and of itself. To be completely honest, the process is not unique to weight loss. When we want to make any change in our lives (lose weight, increase exercise, stop smoking, drink less, start a new hobby) we all have to start the same way every time...take the first step.
I know it's cliche to pull Confucius out but I really do think it's important to remember that 'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.' We're American and as such we want to do something and see results instantly. What is this waiting thing that people speak of? If we don't get the desired results immediately we tend to feel frustrated, disappointed and deafeated. When we feel like this we give up, throw the towel in, stick a fork in...we're done!!! However, I'm coming to the realization that we are giving up too easily (and no, this is not the first time that I've come to this point)! It's time to make a conscious effort to not give up.
Ladies, we are all trying to make a significant change in our lives. Regardless of our individual hopes and wishes we all are trying to overhaul at least one aspect of ourselves. While taking on a big challenge like this can be difficult, even scary we have to have faith that we can make it through. At times our final destination seems so far away. From where I'm sitting 220 pounds isn't just in a different time zone but it feels like there is a galaxy between us. The question then becomes, how does one get from galaxy A to galaxy B?!?!? The answer is clear (but not easy), we have to take it one step at a time. When I weighed myself yesterday I was so focused on the fact that I still had 90 pounds to lose to reach my goal that I completley forget to think about the fact that I had lost 10 pounds. Ten pounds, big deal right?!?!? As a matter of fact yes, yes it is! While my ultimate goal is still many moons away, I have successfully traveled to my first rest area along the way (although this is SO not the time for rest)! Now, don't get me wrong, the final destination is still a mythical being, the next rest area is not. As I was watching The Secret yesterday, there was an example that is very insightful and should be helpful to us all.
Imagine if you will a car driving through the night. At night, the headlights of a car illuminate 100-200 feet forward of the car. A car can make it from California to New York driving through the dark because all you have to see is the next 200 feet. Hmmm...interesting, and you know what, it makes sense. We don't have to know what's happening 50 miles ahead of us as long as we focus on the 200 feet that we can see. The rest of the trip will unfold as we get there. Now, I'll openly admit it. I'm a big picture sort of girl. I like to look at things completley and then break it up into segments and sections. Thinking any other way goes against my nature but the other side of the coin is starting to make more and more sense to me. I hope that as this year unfolds I am able to take things day by day and trust that they will unfold in a fashion that helps me reach my goal. There is a quote by MLK Jr. that seems to fit so well here so I'll share it with you (as I've apparently become a metawhore...hehe). MLKJ once said, 'Take the first step in faith. You don't hav to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.'
So, ladies, I plan on taking my first step, and then second, third, fourth and beyond until I finally reach my goal...
I know it's cliche to pull Confucius out but I really do think it's important to remember that 'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.' We're American and as such we want to do something and see results instantly. What is this waiting thing that people speak of? If we don't get the desired results immediately we tend to feel frustrated, disappointed and deafeated. When we feel like this we give up, throw the towel in, stick a fork in...we're done!!! However, I'm coming to the realization that we are giving up too easily (and no, this is not the first time that I've come to this point)! It's time to make a conscious effort to not give up.
Ladies, we are all trying to make a significant change in our lives. Regardless of our individual hopes and wishes we all are trying to overhaul at least one aspect of ourselves. While taking on a big challenge like this can be difficult, even scary we have to have faith that we can make it through. At times our final destination seems so far away. From where I'm sitting 220 pounds isn't just in a different time zone but it feels like there is a galaxy between us. The question then becomes, how does one get from galaxy A to galaxy B?!?!? The answer is clear (but not easy), we have to take it one step at a time. When I weighed myself yesterday I was so focused on the fact that I still had 90 pounds to lose to reach my goal that I completley forget to think about the fact that I had lost 10 pounds. Ten pounds, big deal right?!?!? As a matter of fact yes, yes it is! While my ultimate goal is still many moons away, I have successfully traveled to my first rest area along the way (although this is SO not the time for rest)! Now, don't get me wrong, the final destination is still a mythical being, the next rest area is not. As I was watching The Secret yesterday, there was an example that is very insightful and should be helpful to us all.
Imagine if you will a car driving through the night. At night, the headlights of a car illuminate 100-200 feet forward of the car. A car can make it from California to New York driving through the dark because all you have to see is the next 200 feet. Hmmm...interesting, and you know what, it makes sense. We don't have to know what's happening 50 miles ahead of us as long as we focus on the 200 feet that we can see. The rest of the trip will unfold as we get there. Now, I'll openly admit it. I'm a big picture sort of girl. I like to look at things completley and then break it up into segments and sections. Thinking any other way goes against my nature but the other side of the coin is starting to make more and more sense to me. I hope that as this year unfolds I am able to take things day by day and trust that they will unfold in a fashion that helps me reach my goal. There is a quote by MLK Jr. that seems to fit so well here so I'll share it with you (as I've apparently become a metawhore...hehe). MLKJ once said, 'Take the first step in faith. You don't hav to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.'
So, ladies, I plan on taking my first step, and then second, third, fourth and beyond until I finally reach my goal...
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