I believe that when I blogged earlier this week I promised that I would write another entry focusing on my relationships with the boys. Although my original intent was to write right away, I got distracted with phone calls. So here are my thoughts on my relationship with boys.
As long as I can remember I always had 1 boy in my life who was a close friend. There was never anything flirty or romantic for the most part. It was just me and this dude who I could hang out with. When I was very young there was a kid who lived a block away (I honestly don't remember her name) and he was my best friend until I started kindergarten (we moved to another town at that time). When I was in elementary I was friends with Johnathan Eastman. He and I had to do speech together (damn S's) and we were always in the same class. He always picked me to be his partner gym class too...he pretty much rocked as far as I was concerned. Even though he's the only boy who really sticks out in memories in my early elementary days I know that I hung out with the guys a lot. I always got along with the boys better than the girls...even at a young age I couldn't handle the ridiculous drama that goes along with a lot of female relationships, not to mention I was a bit of a tomboy...I didn't really do the doll or barbie thing (unless I was making my barbies do very naughty things). In junior high I again had 1 close guy friend. His name was Channing and I think I liked him. He was actually the first guy that I slow danced with...sorry, getting all nostalgic talking about the past! Anyway, again, he was one of my closet friends. I always felt very comfortable around him. There were other guys that I was friends with but I wouldn't say that I was close to them. I never really thought much about guys growing up. I hung out with my male friends and kind of left the rest of the boys to themselves. Sure, there was always the cute boy in the class but other than that I never really thought much about them.
When I got to high school I think things definitely changed. In high school, my closest friends for the most part were girls. There were guys that I was around a lot and we were friends but looking back none of them were terribly close friends. I didn't really spend any time with guys in high school outside of group things. We either did things as friends in a group or we were in the same activities and hung out at practices, church things, competitions etc. I think for the average person, high school is where their relationships with the opposite sex change from having friendly overtones to romantic. For me, not so much. It's kind of hard to admit, and a lot of people think it's really, really weird, but I've never been in a relationship with a guy. I first noticed in high school that I had a lot of 1-sided crushes. The guys that I liked didn't like me and the guys who liked me were usually creepy old or way to freaking young. Hell, I got hit on by one of our student teachers when I was 15! I constantly get hit on by men who are my parents age or older. While this can be creepy at times, at least its not illegal. When I was 21, there was a 17 year old boy from back home who seriously wanted me to be his girlfriend...it lasted for a summer and I had to stop being his friend because it just got weird. The summer before I started grad school (mind you, I was almost 23) a 16 year old asked me out...eeewww! I guess what I'm trying to get at is that boys my age didn't really like me.
When I got to college, this trend did not stop. I would meet guys, they would think I was great (I'm a chick who likes to talk sports, I'm not overly moody or dramatic which can be a rare find in college aged women) and I would end up in the friend role (mind you, this whole time the old guys were still hitting on me in full force). I actually had a friend who once told me that if I was serious about having a relationship I would have to meet the guy on a blind date because no man that got to know me he would want to date me, I'd just be a friend...ouch (she thought she was trying to be helpful, I wanted to rip off her face). I try not to let her words infuriate me, and I try to not let my total lack of dating bother me, there are still times when it would be nice to know that there was or at least will be, one guy who likes me. On the much brighter side, I do have some really amazing guy friends right now. In my group of friends there are a handful of boys who I love dearly and would not change my relationship with for any sum of money...for the most part!
I think my whole life I've had normal friendships with boys. My romantic aspirations are farily dysfunctional but I've learned to live with that...it's nothing new. I guess when all is said and done, I choose to be happy about what wonderful friendships I have in my life and try to ignore everything else. Some days its easier than others but I just keep telling myself that people don't die from being single so it's pretty unlikely that I will!
2 comments:
Wow, you and I have sort of similar tendencies when it comes to gents. I still have few female friends. And when I hang out with those female friends I often chat more with their husbands and boyfriends. I can honestly say that you, LeAnn, my pal Marie, and sometimes Tiffany are the only chicks I talk to regularly and consider "good friends".
And I won't create the "pity party" atmosphere in regards to your dating history. I honestly didn't mind being single after 2006. My dating history makes me want to tell you that you aren't missing much but at the same time that is bullshit. In a way I'm envious of you because you haven't been hurt by jerks. But everything happens for a reason so someone will come and sweep ya off your feet. And he won't be old and creepy!
I'm not sure whether I should pity you or say "lucky duck" because I have never been overtly hit on and it's a self-esteem bomb. It's my friends that are hit on in front of me. I'm sure you'll find a winner soon and he won't be an old geezer or a puberty-stricken tween. I probably shouldn't say this but I wouldn't mind seeing what else is out there in terms of possible male partners. I am not sure if I am settling or if I am happy with Jason. Hopefully he won't be reading this. I feel like I am in the same boat as you and/or Jenny but a slightly different river. :) Have a good weekend.
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