Love Hunger #12

Modifying Behaviors Part I-Section 2

This section requires to think about your eating as an addiction. I do personally think that my diet involves an addiction to food. If you don't think you have an actual addiction to food you can just skip over this section of Love Hunger.

Name the ways that your addiction to food has hurt you or others in your life.

My addiction to food has harmed my health. I don't feel the affects (I can't tell my overall cholesterol or triglycerides are high) but I do feel more lathargic and less energetic. My fitness has also gone down severely since high school.

I think my son and I would do more if I were at a healthier weight. Not only would we do more activities, but that extra physical activity would help maintain my weight loss and fitness. I think the poor boy lives a relatively boring life since I'm always so tired at night or on the weekends.

My self-esteem blows. I'd be more confident, pleasant, and fun if I liked how I looked on a regular basis. I'd also be more social and I'd go out more if I was happier with my appearance.

I also think my addiction has hurt my finances. I think about all the money I've spent on eating out and it's scary. I could have saved that money for loan repayment or for Gavin's savings account. Yeesh.

I've hurt my career. I am in an area that expects fitness and a fit looking body. If I had interviewed for PE jobs prior to grad school, I think a lot of people would have not considered me since I'm not slim. I may have the same problem when it comes to lecturing or research jobs because that expectation of skinniness and fitness exists throughout the realm of kinesiology.

Name the good things you lost as a result of your addiction.

This one is tough. I think I've lost some respect at work since I'm one of the heaviest in the department. I often assume that people wonder about my lifestyle since I look the way I look. I think more people would take me seriously or more seriously if I was thin and fit like my other coworkers in pedagogy.

I'm afraid I've lost years of my life due to my calorie intake and food choices. I'm afraid I've caused damage to my cardiovascular system and that will catch up to me when I'm older. My maternal side of the family also has severe issues with colon cancer and diet is directly linked to it's occurrence.

I've lost opportunities to meet possible boyfriends or new friends in general. I know you should date someone that likes you for who you are....not what you look like. But you have to admit that most men are drawn to thinner women. Back when I was actively trying to date (2007 mainly), a lot of guys told me that they loved my personality but I know my weight was an issue. Since I don't like to dress up much anymore, I don't go out much and I don't meet new people very often. Kind of hard to make new friends or meet a nice guy if I never go out.

I've lost important time that should have been spent with Gavin. I think back to the summers and weekends that were spent being very inactive. We should have ridden our bikes more. We should have gone on more hikes. I think he'd more interested in sports if I wasn't so lazy and tired. He's going to be a teenager and more unwilling to hang with his mom before I know it and I'll wish that I could go back to his elementary years. I don't want him to think back to his childhood and only remember his mom being in college and being tired all the time.

I've lost important parts of my personality. I used to be so outgoing, loud, and fun. I've become more reserved and quiet because I'm so worried what people think about my appearance. I used to love being a leader but now I tend to hang back and let others do that.

Imagine what your life will be like if you don't change.

I can see myself being sick when I'm in my thirties. I can see myself developing diabetes or blood pressure issues. I can also see myself getting much larger and totally giving up in regards to my appearance. I'll also deal with mental health issues like depression. I'll die an earlier death and my life will not have high quality.

I also see myself staying single or settling for a man that isn't right for me. I also think that I won't be married for life. I bet I'll divorce or be part of an unhappy marriage since I'll be unhappy with myself. I won't have a job that I'm truly happy with. I'll settle for something that pays the bills but doesn't utilize my education. My son will become more inactive and less healthy due to my lifestyle too.

I won't go out much, only for work or for food. I'll participate in activities that allow me to be sedentary on a regular basis. Due to being ashamed, I won't see my immediate family as much.

Wow that all sounds like a drag.