This section of Love Hunger pertains to relationships in your life. The first part asks you to reflect about your relationsihps with your parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc. Were those relationships good, bad, or were they indifferent?
Parents: I would say my relationship with my parents is good. However, my relationship with my dad changed after I became pregnant. I know I disappointed both of them at that time of my life but things didn't become horrible because of it. I think my continued success in high school and journey to college made them realize that I wasn't going to mess up my life because I was a young mother. I did a lot of stupid shit in junior high and high school though so I cannot believe how patient they were with me. I never figured out why I rebelled so much but it's not like I can change anything now.
Siblings: I'd have to say my relationship with my sisters is good. I admit things improved somewhat when I moved out and came to Ames. I guess people are right when they say you become closer to your family when you move away from them. I seriously think there was too much estrogen in one house when we were growing up because LeAnn and I did fight a lot. But I don't think any of our fights permanently tarnished our relationship...I think a lot of them were just part of growing up. Let me know if you disagree LeAnn. I must say that I worry about both my sisters though. I worry about my youngest sister because I think she's doing some stupid stuff (much like me back when I was younger) and I don't want her experiencing any life changing consquences due to her bad choices. I've read some inappropriate things on her cell phone texts and yea.....yikes. And yes LeAnn I worry about you because I want you to be happy and content with life. I don't want you to settle in regards to your love life because that could lead to unhappiness the rest of your life. I know I'm no relationship expert (cough cough Marshall) but I can't help being concerned.
Grandparents: I can only comment on my grandmas because both of my grandpas are deceased. I have good relationships with my grandmas and have the utmost respect for both. They took excellent care of their families and create/created warm environments so I always looked forward to visiting. With that being said....I did struggle visit my Grandma Smith when she had her apartment prior to her new nursing home environment. Due to some family circumstances, she often took care of my 2nd cousin or constantly talked about some first cousins that she also helped out. I guess in a sense I felt unimportant at times because I was independent and wasn't asking her for help. I actually became angry at times when I visited because it wasn't fair for her to be taking care of a child or adults for that matter at her old age. It's sad that she finally got a break only because she's in a nursing home now. When I became pregnant, I wasn't only scared of what my parents would think...I was scared of what my Grandma Stika would think. I was so worried about disappointing her. She has very strong beliefs and a great character and I was scared she would think less of me. I didn't have anything to worry about though because she was understanding and has supported me.
Aunts, uncles, and other family members: I cannot think of anyone I have a bad relationship with. I know a couple people that I've been unhappy with due to their behavior towards my mom. One specific aunt always treated my mom badly (I remember her crying about it after a family Christmas party) but fortunately my uncle is divorcing her. Another aunt that lives in florida kind of got on my nerves because she stopped contacting my mom due to some family issues. I cannot think of anyone I've been unhappy with due to their actions towards me. I'm concerned about many of my cousins as they deal with some adult issues that could or could not have been prevented.
Children: Ha ha, only I get to answer this one. I have to say my relationship with my son is amazing. At times it seems like we have more than just a mother-son relationship. I can tell that he and I will have a very strong friendship as he gets older. I do sometimes worry that he's acting older than he should....he doesn't behave like a typical 9 year old sometimes. I am often scared when I hear about parents that no longer speak with their children and I wonder how that can happen. I don't know what I would do if my relationship with Gavin ended or became negative. I also wonder how it may change when I meet a man or have more children in the future. I guess we'll see!
I guess I'm pretty lucky. I hear a lot stories about broken families and bad relationships but I can't think of anything similiar in my family.
1 comment:
I could probably write a whole blog on this too. Relationships, hmmmm. The relationship between me and our parents is pretty good and stable. It wasn't until I was 16 that things got strained. The internet chatting with guys, getting caught with some lies, wrecking my car, and such made both Ma and Pa upset. Dad was most unhappy about the car accident. Things eventually got settled and I behaved better, except for the tattoo. Mom wasn't pleased with that.
Yes, we fought quite a bit during our mutual time in the same household. One fight stands out, I believe you told me and Mom that you wanted me to die. Mom was angry about that because of Denise. So you got in big trouble for that. Obviously things are quite the opposite now - we chat, go out together, do stuff together, etc. But those years in the house weren't pleasant between us. Btw, you made fun of my plumpness back in the day . . . a lot! Alissa wasn't much different for me. We didn't get along too much when I lived home. She annoyed the heck out of me with her animal-like behavior. Things are better now that I am out of the house but now she's living like the only child which can't be good. She's spoiled. I'm worried for her on several levels: responsibility, boy stuff, and eating/weight.
Relationships with the grandmas is pretty good I'd say. I wish I could visit them more often. I know Gma Smith is lonely and Gma Stika has wanted to teach me how to make kolaches for years now but there is never time. I really hope I make it up to her before it's too late. Both grandmas have been supportive of me and shown nothing but kindness and love. I respect them both for their individual lives and strengths they both have. I think we/I am lucky for two strong and loving grandmas.
Concerning aunts, uncles, and cousins - it's kind've hard to have a great relationship with each one since we have like a million. Over my adolescent years I used to confide in Shirley and Elaine about stuff but then we stopped talking and I miss that. I would like to believe I have a great relationship with all of my uncles, I like to talk to them and give them a hard time. The few I don't know well are Dale and Ronnie Smith. I'm quite proud of my relationship with my uncles. I wish I knew my cousins better. I've always had a special relationship with male cousins (and uncles) I think because I had always wanted a brother and they were the closest I could get. My relationship with my same-age cousin on my dad's side has been strained on and off through the years. I think it's because we were in a type of competition in life. Things are fine now though.
Well I think that explains/defines a lot of my relationships. I told you it was a blog length. On to the next blog . . .
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