Answers and checking in...

So tired...must kill body...horrid 9:29 a.m.!!!!!

Sorry, I'm just very tired and try as I might, I cannot sleep any longer. To be honest, on your average Saturday, sleeping in until 9:30 would be amazing! However, my parents arrived, safely, just before 3 this morning and we didn't get to bed until 4:30...ick. Anywho, I could whine about the fact that I'm tired some more or I can focus on the fact that my parents are here and we're going to have a wonderful weekend together...I think I shall go with the latter!

So, things have been going well this week. I did some form of physical activity all days and eating has gone well for the most part (with the notable exception of the giant chocolate chip cookie from the cafeteria yesterday and the donut I had after dinner...I have had this terrible sweet tooth lately). Although, to be honest, I tend to treat myself on Friday (it keeps me motivated during the week knowing that there is one night when I can have what I want...within reason, of course) so I don't feel to bad. Normally I have whatever I want for dinner...well my dinner was healthy last night so I traded off and had some unhealthy snacks. Anyway, the bottom line is that whatever I'm doing must be working for me. I'm losing weight at a fairly steady pace. I'm not dropping 3-4 pounds a week anymore...which makes sense. It's not healthy or normal to maintain that kind of weight loss but I'm settling around losing 1-1.5 pounds per week, which according to the American College of Sports Medicine is perfect, so...there you go! I stepped on the scale this morning and I am at 294.9 pounds! Another new low and I am working my way towards my 30 pound goal! If I keep it up, I will reach my next target (which is 30 pounds) before spring gets here!!! OK, update over, on to the good part. Here are the answers to your next batch of excellent questions.


How do you feel about your appearance? Do you hide your body? I think I hit on this question when I posted the be happy naked entry but I'll reiterate so you don't have to go back and search for my old entry. I think I'm pretty, actually, if I'm going to be honest (and that's what this blog is all about...unfailing honesty) I think I'm quite beautiful when I put some effort into it. There are certain aspects of my physical self that I like more than others obviously. I like my face and legs and even though I'm heavy, I'm proportioned very well. We're all pretty lucky like that I think. None of us are tiny on top with huge hips, thighs and legs. Nor do we have chicken legs and are massive in the middle and up top. Sure, we'd all like to lose in the midsection but we have it much better than a lot of other heavy women. Having said that I definitely get self-conscious of my appearance. I don't like that I have a flat, long ass (thanks dad), I also really detest the back roll and the spare tire business I have going on. I too, like Jenny, have recently added the flabby arms bit. They were always a little flabby but in the last year I've developed a roll on the upper part of my arm...eeew! I bought a lot of shirts this summer for work and can't wear them now because I've gotten a lot more self-conscious of how my arms look. This might sound bad but I think it's because of who I hang around here in Michigan. All of my coworkers and stick insects. They have no extra anything on them. At least back home I had normal friends, some who even looked like me. I got to see that there were beautiful women of all shapes and sizes...now it's me and the skinny girls. I also, try to hide my body with my clothing...for sure. I hate wearing dress pants because you see more through the material (it's a lot thinner than denim) and they never fit me correctly. So, not only can you see my creases and dents, the pants also hang off me and exaggerate the fact that I have a flat, long ass and that I have a large stomach. I try and compensate by wearing tanks/camis on top with sweaters and track jackets or shirts that are longer and don't cling. To be honest, I don't know if it's better or if it's worse but it makes me feel better. I too felt like a lot of the trendier tops made me look preggers due to the tight around the boobs and flowing at the bottom business. Not the image I'm going for. I could go on forever about my appearance and my feelings but I think you get the idea!

Did your parents ever compliment you as a kid? My mom always told me that she thought I was beautiful. She still does. I look a lot like my mom so it's probably good that she thinks I'm beautiful! As much as I tend to deny it, I do look like her (which is a really good thing because my mom is beautiful and comes from good stock) but I got some of my dad's traits that I really wish I had managed to avoid (like the ass, pale skin with dark 'freckles,' bad pores...sorry dad, but it's true)! I know that my dad has complimented me, but I honestly cannot remember a single situation to share (at least when it comes to appearance). Although, it's probably not fair to judge him as I spent much less time around him that I have my mom.

Are/were you happy to be your gender? Or did you ever desire to be the other gender? Did you ever get the impression that your parents wanted the other gender? I love that I'm a girl. I get to like boys without having to be gay (again, not that there's anything wrong with that at all...but I'm fortunate to not have to deal with all of the stupid, biggoted, assholes out there who do have issues with it...sorry, tangent!); I get to dress up and put on make-up and wear highheels (on very rare occasion); I get to be overly emotional at times and have a legitimate excuse, I get to be obsessed with football and have members of the opposite sex think it's cool and an asset as opposed to beign a fault...so yea, I like my sex. I never really minded being a girl. For the most part, I tend to fall on pretty gender neutral/masculine side of the gender bar but I wouldn't trade being a girl. My parents were happy with me as is...I just asked my mom to be sure!

Did your parents talk to you about sex? Ummm...yeah. My mother was unflinchingly honest when it came to all things related to sex. At times it was embarassing...as a kid you're not sure what to think but as I got older I was so glad to have someone who I could really talk to. She never shied away from talks about birth control, sex, relationships etc. If I have children some day I really hope to have a relationship with them like I have with my mom. Because we could be honest and open about things like sex, we could talk about anything...drugs, alcohol, stress. I would go into more but I have to wrap up because we're getting ready to leave. Let's just say my mom was an open book and I am so greatful for that. One other thing...my dad talked to me about sex once, it was uncomfortable but it was honest.

OK...more later. Sorry for the abrupt end! Have a great, strong weekend ladies!