project180gone

321. I’ve heard that half of the battle of overcoming any problem is just to admit that the problem exists. From where I’m sitting, 321 is a major problem. When I first saw 321 I could hardly believe the number that was flashing in front of my eyes. How in the world could I have let things get so out of control that my scale could possibly be reading 321? No, not just 321 but 321.7 (if I’m going to be honest I might as well be honest).

For as long as I can remember I have been the heavy girl. I was overweight when I was in elementary school (my earliest memories of trying to lose weight are from 3rd grade when my sister and I had aspirations of turning our front porch into a makeshift gym) and the weight issue followed me through adolescence and even now into early adulthood it hasn’t subsided. Like most men and women who have struggled with weight issues their entire lives I have made several attempts to lose the excess weight. And, like most people in the same boat as me, I have failed time and time again.

I would love to be able to say that this time is guaranteed to be different. I would love to say that I will not fail, that failure simply is not an option. Unfortunately, it would delusional to make that sort of a claim. Failure is a possibility. It’s not pretty, but there it is. I, however, will be doing everything within my power to make sure that failure is not my outcome this time around. So here it is, I know what I need to do to make myself healthy (my degrees in exercise science basically mean that I can’t claim ignorance as a defense). I also know what the benefits are to changing my life yet I simply don't do what needs to be done. Why??? It’s simple. Lack of honesty.

For the past 26 years I have been lying to myself. Every time I try to lose weight it's the same damn thing. I tell myself that my current lifestyle isn't so bad. I tell myself that for a heavy person I eat pretty well and I get more physical activity than the average overweight person. I tell myself and others (generally those who are trying to lose weight with me) that I don't have gigantic lifestyle changes to make. Well, I've finally decided that that's BULLSHIT!!! After years of deluding myself I have finally found the nerve to admit that my lifestyle is my problem. Sure, I eat well when I cook, but lets face it, I don't cook all that often. I am ashamed to admit it but I eat out more during a week than I cook in, and it's not like I'm eating healthy take-out foods, no I'm eating crap. McDonald's, pizza, takeout Chinese and Chipotle. What’s worse is that I then go home to my apartment and spend the night watching TV or reading a book, not exactly high energy activities. Basically I have become the stereotypical heavy woman...go me!

Basically it’s this honesty that led me to project.180.gone. A friend and I (who would like to lose a combined weight of 180 pounds) have had the same struggles and have been trying to find a way to finally make the lifestyle changes that will result in healthier lives for the both of us. Although we don’t have any magic answers on how to be 100% successful on this journey we do know that we cannot succeed alone and have therefore started this blog as a way to share our thoughts, successes, set backs and goals with each other and anybody else who chooses to read this blog. If we can help others on our journey it will make the final destination that much more rewarding.

I guess all that I have left for this post is to state my current goals. I have decided that I am going to take things one step at a time. It is the only way to truly make a lasting lifestyle change. My first goal is to decrease the amount of eating out that I do. I will limit myself to eating out once per week.