The art of change

I decided to hold back on writing an entry until after my meeting with the chairperson in the Kinesiology Department at ISU. I was hoping this would be an entry with good news but unfortunately most of my questions about employment were not answered because the budget still hasn't been discussed and finalized!!! I thought they'd know more about numbers and the feasibility of hiring new people but I was sadly mistaken. They have great plans for the PE department but nothing is concrete. My next course of action is to contact the chairperson next week to see if anything has changed. Bleh.

With that being said, I still don't know what to do about my housing. I am wanted by the department but until I see something in writing, I am very leery to sign a year long lease in Ames. I still my have options for shorter term leases that I need to check into. All I can do now is continue to pack and get organized and brace myself for the end of the month.

So onto the title of this entry...."the art of change". I've had people question why I gave up my apartment in the first place. It's a big place and is affordable. Fact of the matter is, I'm finishing my thesis and graduating again so I feel its the right time to change my residence. We've lived here for a long time and I think I've unconsciously hung onto it because of my life here with Michael. It's time to move on and start fresh somewhere new. Maybe it will be a new place in Ames, maybe it will be in a different city or state. The start of a new career and change of residence also wants me to make big changes with my health and lifestyle. It's advised to not change too much at once but I think starting new habits in a new environment will be good for me. It's promising that some apartments in Ames have gyms in their buildings so I'd have better access to weight training equipment.

Anyway....so I'm frustrated about things I cannot control, worried about my future, and excited for possible changes that will be implemented soon. July is going to pass by way too fast!

Weeks end...

Yo yo ladies, it's Saturday morning and for once I can blog without being sad that it's 7 in the morning! I managed to sleep in this morning until almost 10:00!!! (that NEVER happens)! I must have been very tired because not only did I sleep in until 10, I went to bed at midnight and didn't wake up once until 6:30...mind boggling! Now, all celebrating aside, my excellent sleeping skills mean that I missed my 8:00 workout with my friend Chris :( I think I might suggest skipping our workout and just hanging out at the pool this afternoon. I have so much house cleaning to get to because I have company coming next week and I should really get to it. Besides, I'm a little more sore than I thought I'd be from my workout yesterday. Working out with Chris has been a great thing. I love that I have someone to keep me motivated. I would feel terrible bailing on her during the week because I'm her ride home. If I cancelled last minute she'd have to ride the bus home, not as much fun as being chauffeured by myself! It's keeping me accountable and I LIKE it!

I really like that I'm back into a regular routine for workouts. I'm positive that that's how I managed to make it through Wed. alive. I had the most horrible day at work on Wednesday. It was hot, I was so sweaty and uncomfortable, and I screwed up an exercise test for the pickiest doctor we have, I had an uncomfortable, awkward but necessary sit down with a co-worker and I couldn't wait for the day to get over. Thankfully Chris talked me down and I was able to workout my bad feelings for the days without turning to food or alcohol :) Granted, I don't normally turn to alcohol when stressed but the food I do when there's nobody around.

Anyway, I should get going. I hope that you ladies are having a wonderful weekend and enjoying some wonderful summer weather! Take care, eat well, get moving and have a great day!

ISU research.....yippeee!

Check out this news article about exercise.

http://www.hs.iastate.edu/news/inside/view/246/

Sleepy Tuesday...

I could really use a nap right about now, instead, I will blog! I am having a very hard time waking up this morning and I'm not sure why. I got to bed by 10 last night so I got the recommended 8 hours but I'm just dragging today. I only had 1 Holter to scan so maybe my lack of work has something to do with the lethargicness (yes, that is a word) that I feel.

Anyway, I have a good feeling that the day is going to shape up though. Chris and I are going to work out tonight after work and I might try and convince her that we should take a dip in the pool when we're done. I love, love, LOVE the post-workout shower but I'm willing to bet that a post-workout swim would be even better!

So, I have been trying to keep my pop and coffee consumption down. I'm doing really well but occasionally have to have a jolt. I've started drinking a lot more tea and I think I'm good with the switch. I've decided that I prefer flavored teas (one of my friends had cranberry pomegranate green tea so I brewed a bag...wow! it was pretty amazing) over the natural flavors but I'm starting to get used to the flavor. I'll admit, I still need a cup of coffee every once in a while but the tea is good (fewer calories, less tooth staining and less caffeine)!

Ladies, I have a quandary. I have a wedding labor day weekend. It's a casual wedding but I want to wear a dress...I never dress up and weddings are the only time that I can do so without feeling silly. They have a bunch of really cool maxi dresses at Torrid right now and there is a blue one that I want to buy. I could go down to Toledo this weekend and try it on and buy it but I'm really hoping to be losing a little bit before September. I'm torn because I don't want late August to roll around and not be able to find a summery dress for the wedding. Conversely, if I wait then the summer dresses that are around will be cheaper. Any thoughts? What to do, what to do?

Anyway ladies, I'll stop blabbering on. Have a great day! If you're exercising make sure to take precautions as you're under a heat warning...lots of fluids, light, cotton clothing, take breaks if you have to! SUMMER IS HERE!!!

My travels to Oklahoma

Gavin and I had a great trip down to Oklahoma this weekend. We rode down with my Aunt Mary so I could help with driving. I don't think my Bonneville would have done too well in the heat and it doesn't have air conditioning so we would have been miserable commuting all over Tulsa. I was surprised by how quickly we arrived in Oklahoma. 8-9 hours go by quickly with good conversation and 75 mph speeds.

It was great to see family again and to meet new members. I haven't seen some of my cousins for 15+ years so I hadn't met spouses or some of their children. The wedding was very beautiful and organized well. I realized a few things during this recent trip away from home.

-- I didn't mind dressing up but wasn't horribly comfortable in a dress while being at this weight. I want to look amazing in a dress so I have another motivator!!!

--I realize that I'm 26, therefore an adult obviously, but it really hit me this weekend that my cousins and I are grown up. I mean, 15-20 years ago or so, it was our parents dealing with naughty and crying kids at weddings and now it's US dealing with it. Sadly I had it much easier than others since I only have Gavin and he's well-behaved. I didn't have to deal with unhappy, crying, tired kids at the wedding dance like some of my other cousins. I was kind of disappointed because I didn't get to converse very much with some of them due to all the youngsters.

--It was really interesting to see how people have changed now that they are married. Some of my cousin's spouses are awesome and so fun to hang out with. Other spouses made it difficult and it bothers me. I really hope I meet a man that loves me for me and lets my personality shine. I don't want to change when I get married. There shouldn't be any reasons a person would change.

--I am really happy that I have a 9 year old. Didn't really need to worry about Gavin being naughty and he did his own thing while at the reception, dance, and at family gatherings. Woohoo!

--I wish our family could get together every year even if it meant for people driving to Tulsa or some other location. Now that I'm older, I realize how fun it is to reunite and catch up with everyone.

--Expensive wedding cake tastes just as good as Hy-Vee wedding cake. Coconut rum is amazing with pineapple juice. I know what I'm buying when it comes to drinking at 4th of July!

--Being that I caught the bouquet, I better start the man hunt huh? I'm still not horribly motivated and I wish I was. Sadly I think I'll be more excited about it when I've reached some of my health-related goals and feel better about my body.

I NEED to exercise this week! The heat has ruined my motivation but I HAVE to get on the treadmill!!! We ate out a few times in Tulsa so we will not be eating out again until maybe Sunday or Monday. Today's weight loss tip on my "Biggest Loser" calendar stressed the importance of planning when it comes to meals and food. I'm attempting to be more organized with our lunches and suppers so hopefully that aids me with portioning and food choices. I realized tonight how truly great the mango is...mangoes rock.

Until next time! Stay cool!

Weekends like this...

make me wish that Monday morning would not come! I just had the most wonderful weekend. I got in a really great workout yesterday, spent the day with friends shopping and browsing, and then spent the afternoon today swimming and lounging by the pool! Other than the fact that I got a bit more toasty today at the pool (good thing I have some aloe) I wouldn't want to change much...well besides having some other people here to spend the lovely weekend with.

I'm really looking forward to this week. My friend Chris and I are going to be working out together at the exercise facility at her apartment 3-4 days per week. We both want to get into a good routine and just need somebody to do it with. I like working out with her because we get along well as workout buddies. I tend to get lost in my workouts and would rather just crank up the tunes and work as opposed to chit chatting, she doesn't mind that at all! I even talked to her today about maybe playing tennis together. Neither of us know how but we figured we could manage and learn as we go (and maybe you can teach us a thing or 2 when you're out here next Jenny!). I need to make up my menu for the week tonight. I've been doing well with eating but I've been eating out too often, that is the one downside with Chris and her friends, they eat out quite a bit which is something that I can't afford to do from a caloric and monetary stand point.

Anyway, this is the first time in a while that I feel like I'm really getting back on track. I've made small changes to get back to where I was but I need to take a more direct approach. I have a wedding in September that I'm holding off on buying a dress for because I'm really hoping to lose a bit before then! I think if we really stick to the workout plan and I mind my diet then I shouldn't have an issue being down a dress size in 2 months!

Alright ladies, I hope that you had a great time at your wedding and had safe travels. Get some rest and have a great week!

Slacker Alert...

Not that it is going to be a big shock to you ladies but I have slacked off this week when it comes to blogging. I have had things to do and I've spent almost every night on the phone (people just love me I guess). I was going to blog at work today but I haven't had the chance...the best laid plans I guess.

Anyway, I just wanted to wish you both a safe trip to OK and back. I hope that the wedding is nice and that you get to spend some quality time with the family. I promise you that when you get back there will be a new blog entry waiting from me!!

More Randomness from Jenny....

Howdy-

I've having a somewhat slow morning due to a schedule change this week. Gavin has day camp and we leave the apartment at 7am each day so I finish my greenhouse job much earlier. I have all my thesis corrections turned in and I'm waiting for approval from my advisor. She just needs to send the thesis back to me as a whole (it's divided into parts currently) so I can add page numbers and create a Table of Contents. I'm also waiting for approval from ISU to start another research project. I'm being paid to measure the kids from my study one more time so it's a continuation of my thesis project. It won't be my project anymore but I'm being paid well to do all the measurements. The biggest pain will be contacting all the families again. It's hard to say how many will choose to return. I can't contact any of them until I get the official approval from ISU though. I have a feeling this will consume most of my time next week when I'm back from Oklahoma.

I'm feeling really good about the dress I bought for the wedding this weekend. It was so odd to enter the store, see the dress, and immediately want it. I usually run from dresses! I have learned a lot from "What Not to Wear" on TLC because I recognized the dress would be flattering on me for several reasons. It has a band of material across the waist so I have more definition in my midsection. It's also a good length and makes my legs look long. The thicker straps are also more flattering on me since I'm not a stick. And we all know that black is slimming so the color was perfect. It's supposed to be in the upper 90s so hopefully I don't melt.

I'm really forward to the trip in general because I haven't seen a lot of my Mom's side of the family in a long time. Being that we're all older with our own families, it's difficult for the Missourians and those from Oklahoma to come up to Iowa often. I had an opportunity to go down and see family when I was an undergraduate (I think) but it didn't work out. I'm not sure if I was busy with school or if I was with Michael at that point and unable to go because of his illness.

I'm also excited for my "vacation" to Waukon around July 4th. Gavin and I are heading up north on July 3rd. We usually stay in Ames for the fabulous fireworks but decided to make a change this year. I wanted to spend the holiday up there but also take some time for camping. Nothing is set in stone yet or officially planned. We also want to go tubing and enjoy the outdoors. Hopefully the weather is decent. I'll have to jump back into reality after that trip because before I know it, it will be July 27th and I'll have to get my butt out of my apartment.

I have nothing lifestyle-related to add other than I'm still lazy. Eating habits are improving though. We haven't been out to eat since Saturday.

From the Mind of Jenny

In a world with so many choices.....how do you know you're making the correct one? This lovely question can apply to a multitude of things. Did I choose the right career? Do I want the right man? Did I eat the right food for lunch? Do I bike to work or take the car? Do I stay home again on a Saturday night? But let's dig a little deeper when it comes to questions about lifestyle.

Do I purposely take away the foods I love so I can lower my body fat and drop weight? Do I make myself run each day so I feel extreme fatigue and discomfort? Do I attack the psychological aspects of my weight issue and learn some undesirable truths about myself?

The fact of the matter is that I need to restart my lifestyle change process but I can't get over the hump and initiate the changes I want. It's true....nothing of value is ever easy. It's hard to start, it's difficult to maintain change, etc. I don't even know what I weigh currently. I have a crappy scale and haven't gone anywhere to measure myself. Sadly I don't want to know even if I had a state of the art scale at home. The number will not be good. I just want to get in the swing of things and getting into a routine....then I will start checking my weight again. Feeling more energetic, getting better sleep, etc are more important to me now. The number on the scale can screw itself.

Anyway...here are some cool points/tips I got from my "Biggest Loser" calendar lately:

--Cut food into small portions, like cutting sandwiches into quarters. It makes you eat your food slower and can sometimes make a person think they are eating more so it helps you mentally feel full. I had to chuckle with this tip because it's the same thing anorexic people due to make it look like they have more food.

--it's always a good idea to sit down and make a list of what you like about yourself. It can be physical attributes, personality quirks, etc. It's especially helpful when you're having a negative week in regards to lifestyle change because you won't focus completely on the negative. Plus its important to realize that a person isn't simply their weight and appearance. I will always stand by the fact that I'm drawn to people's personalities more than appearance. If a person cannot hold a decent conversation or make me laugh then ugh. I don't care if they are attractive then.

--"Biggest Loser" encourages a person to faithfully keep a calorie budget or limit so you learn how to incorporate favorable foods. I don't plan on ever counting calories. I can barely stand counting Weight Watcher points sometimes. I do think it's wise to generate a list of those favorable foods though so I can buy high fiber, nutrient rich foods and keep them on hand when hunger calls.

--My final tidbit is actually a testimonial. The interviewed lady stated that she became tired of being overweight when it came to simple issues like being unable to cross her legs or sit in waiting-room chairs. She wasn't comfortable going through those rotating door entrances and hated public restrooms because the stalls were tiny. I have a similar issue with amusement parks. I want to be able to ride ALL amusement park rides comfortably. Not being able to breathe on a roller coaster or any other thrill ride really takes the thrill out of the experience. Gavin finally has the balls to ride most of those fun things and it pisses me off that I can't comfortably squeeze my caboose into the seats.

Ok this is long enough for now. Have a good week ladies!

More things to share....

Fair warning all those that read this...it may be rather random in nature. First of all, I am having a hell of a time kickstarting my healthy lifestyle initiative. I haven't restarted my running program. I can feel my treadmill staring at me now, wondering if I'll ever set foot on him again. Yes, my treadmill is male. I love walking all over men.....rimshot! I'm also not riding my bike much either. Ugh.

I have created a nasty habit this past week. I plan to start counting points again to get my portions back in control. I keep caving in though and having "last supper" moments. I'll go to Hy-Vee and buy the things that taste good (therefore high in calories and fat) and I tell myself....."this will be the last time I indulge like this....tomorrow I will get back on track with my food groups and healthy diet." I'm still eating out too much as well.

Part of me is angry because I'm not making any changes in my life in regards to losing weight, feeling better, and creating healthy habits. I'm also mad because I wanted to take the time this summer to instill healthy habits for Gavin too. I really want him eating all the food groups and learning how to make wise choices at a young age. All he sees is Mom eating whatever she wants and is probably starting to think that eating out a few times a week is normal. Blah.

I saw the movie "Angels and Demons" and was pretty impressed. I'm a stickler though when a movie is based off a book. I feel some key points were left out of the movie and it irritated me. I believe my next movie will either be "The Hangover" or "Transformers 2". I'd obviously go to Transformers with Gavin. I wanted to see "The Hangover" while he was at camp but I was too tired last night and didn't want to see two movies tonight.

I've been working extra hours at my greenhouse gig. They have me doing the most monotonous work! I sit there in a chair as the grad students measure various parts of young trees. They count the number of roots and the number of leaves. Then they measure the shortest root, the longest root, and the height of the seedling. I sit there for hours writing down numbers. It drives me nuts having to just sit. I tried standing while doing the job but it affects my handwriting. I keep telling myself that it's extra money that I will need at some point so I'll continue to suck it up and work as long as they need me. All this work was supposed to be done in May so they are hurrying to get all the hundreds of trees measured and planted in the field.

I'm also reading "Revolutionary Road" because the movie looks very intriguing. I'm not very impressed by the book and I'm actually forcing myself to finish it. I really hope I enjoy the movie more but it's hard to say considering it will have the same story line.

I am so impressed with Conan O'Brien's transition to the Tonight Show spot. I love that Irish man. I look forward to 10:35pm each week day now. I've created a nice routine of watching most of his show (I only watch the whole thing if the band or comedian is amazing) and then I read for a bit. I try to be asleep before midnight which yes is still late but it's better than 1 or 2am.

Ok, that's enough randomness for the day. Good luck to those of us restarting those healthy habits that are all so important.

Blarg...

Let me tell you ladies, my weekend was just a little bit crappy. First, my computer died (however, I'm going to reinstall the operating system tonight and see if that fixes it). While I don't spend that much time surfing online, I feel way cut off from my friends, family and the world when I don't have my computer. I couldn't talk to anybody on messenger, I couldn't look a fun new pics that were posted online, I couldn't check the weather, I couldn't even listen to music because I don't have a radio in my house, I just use my computer. I didn't realize how big a part of my day my computer was until it went missing! Anyway, it will get fixed and all will be right in the world, well, you know what I mean.

Also, the other crappiness comes in the form of a confession. I finally got the nerve to step on the scale this weekend. I haven't weighed myself in a while and let me tell you ladies...it was bad. I'm back to 308 which is simply unacceptable. While it frightened me a little (it's moving in the wrong direction) I also motivated me to get my butt back in gear.

Anyway, I don't have a lot of time to write now but I'll hopefully be back later in the week. I just wanted to touch base and wish you both a good week. Stay strong and enjoy the remaining 2 weeks of spring!!

Things to Share

I've been waiting to write this blog for quite some time. At 8:30am, I stood in front of my committee (and other colleagues/faculty) and gave my presentation for my thesis. I only spoke for about 30 minutes. Even Gavin got to sit on my presentation but didn't seem too enthralled, imagine that. After my presentation, I was asked questions by my committee. My committee situation was rather complicated. The exercise psychologist has been living in his home country of Greece for the past year but was in Washington D.C. the past few days so he participated over speaker phone. The exercise physiologist on my committee had a family emergency recently and is not in the state of Iowa so another exercise physiologist sat in his place. They asked me questions about my analyses and basically told me what I did wrong in certain places. I left the conference room for awhile so they could discuss things without me present. They approved my thesis on the condition that I make some necessary changes. The changes will be made over the next week and hopefully I can finalize my thesis before the end of June (adding a table of contents, final edits, fixing those necessary stats, formatting margins/tables, etc.).

Kathi has mentioned over the last year that she wants me to measure all the children in my study again. I really didn't think this was feasible over the summer because I need to make money in order to pay rent, bills, and basically survive financially. I couldn't devote the time to measure those kiddos unless I would be paid. Today Kathi announced that both Matt and I would be paid an hourly wage for 12 weeks through the summer to work on data collection and working on other loose ends. I don't think my boss will be back for a long time (since she lives in Texas now) so Matt and I will do her "ISU work" in her absence. I'm happy that I'll have more steady income this summer.

I spoke to the chairperson in our department today and he stated he would like me to help with lecturing in the fall IF the budget will allow for it. My boss will be a faculty member at a different university come August so her void needs to be filled at ISU in regards to classes that prepare future PE teachers. We do have current grad students and one previous student that helped this past semester but they want to organize things better and probably consolidate more responsibilities into fewer positions. I need to NOT get my hopes up about this because like I said before, the budget is not finalized for the fall. It was very nice though to hear of the interest for my teaching skills. And dammit...my hopes are high even though I tried to remain neutral about my possibilities. I'm still going to search for other job opportunities of course since I cannot depend on having a position at ISU.

Also received word that forestry greenhouse is providing more work for me, if I want it. It's simple work and pays incredibly well. With the combination of Kathi's work and the greenhouse work this summer, I should be working 40 hours or close to that amount each week this summer! It's such a relief that we won't be living in poverty. Like usual, I plan to save to prepare for those times when money is tight or I have to deal with large bills. Being that my future is still uncertain in regards to employment, I still cannot make progress with home hunting.

Yes I'm thrilled to be almost done with the thesis process and excited to enter the realm of finding "real employment" but I have other things that exciting me as well. I'm excited to have a better routine at home. I'm excited to exercise more regularly. I'm excited to prepare more homemade meals not live my life around convenient foods. I'm excited to be more social. Instead of trying to find time to hang out with friends and family....I can also make that a more regular part of my life. Maybe I can find that man of my dreams now instead of being buried in work and wishing I already had him in my life. I'm excited to make personal improvements, parenting improvements, and live the life I've desired for quite some time.

Thank you two for all your support as I've worked my way through the last year. You listened to me vent about my issues and gave me encouragement in a genuine manner. I really do have great friends and family in my life and I owe much of my success to the support I always receive from those that care about me.

Tastey recipes with lots o' veggies!

Zucchini Rounds:
1 small to medium zucchini
1/4 flour
1/4 milk
1 egg
1 Tbs. butter or margarine
1/2 tsp each parsley flakes, black pepper, garlic powder (not salt)
2 tsp salt

Shred zucchini and place in a colander. Add 2 tsp salt, mix well and set over a bowl for no less than 20 minutes (the salt pulls the excess water out of the zucchini). After 20-30 minutes, squeeze water out of zucchini. In a bowl combine flour, milk, egg, and seasonings, mix well. Add melted butter and stir to combine. Add drained and squeezed zucchini to batter and mix. Heat a non-stick pan on the stove to medium heat. Spray with cooking spray and pour 1/3 cup of batter into the pan, spreading the batter out evenly. I usually do 2 or 3 at a time depending on the size of my pan. cook on one side until browned and then flip. These look like thing pancakes when done. Serve hot!

Broiled Tomatoes:

This recipe is simple. Adjust ingredients for desired serving size. It is also best to use large tomatoes.

Slice tomatoes into 1/4 inch slices. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper (or aluminum foil) and place a wire cooking rack inside. set tomato slices on cooling rack. Top with seasoning of choice (I like salt, garlic powder and lemon pepper but you can use whatever seasoning you prefer)and mozzarella cheese (or cheddar, or jack, or feta...again whatever you like). Pop in oven under your broiler until the cheese is hot bubbly and melted...eat carefully because these can be VERY hot fresh from the oven.

Goals, Jokes, Prunes and Recipes...

Happy June ladies! It's hard to believe that the summer is upon us once again but it is. I know I said way back when that fall is my favorite time of year, but living in the moment I have to say that early June is striking my fancy as well! I love the smell of lilacs and other flowers, the rain storms, all of the baby ducks and geese running around my place, fresh veggies, warm days and cool night...I could go on but I think you get the point.

Now, onto business. First, I just have to say that I have not been honest with myself and that means that I probably have not been honest with you either. As far as our lifestyle change has gone, I have not been doing well. I haven't been exercising as regularly as I should (if I even get much at all) and I have been eating out WAY too often and not eating properly when cooking at home. The weight that I worked hard to lose is coming back. I haven't gained it all back but I am at risk of that happening if I don't make some changes. I really would like to get back in the swing of things. I am already off of pop again (really, caffeine in general) and have been working on getting enough water and other hydrating beverages in my diet. I am going back to making a weekly menu and will be sticking to it. I am going to put a concentrated effort into not eating out. While there are things that I like and will get on occasion, I really want to focus on home-cooked meals. I am also getting back into the exercise. I don't know why I ever get off track here. I always feel so much better when I am working out regularly. I sleep better, have more energy and just feel happier...yay for endorphins! I worked out on Sunday night and plan on doing a treadmill workout tonight. I've actually been thinking about asking one of the ladies that I work with if she'd like to work out with me after work. That way I have a little bit more accountability. I'll let you know how that goes!

Onto my random bits of knowledge for today. Did you know that prunes are a wonderful snack idea? I stumbled across an article that showed that prunes are beneficial in many ways including:

1. The polyphenoids can help boost bone density (all girls need help there).
2. They're heart smart: the flavanoids help reduce inflammation in the arteries which will help decrease the risk of cardiovascular disease.
3. They are jam packed with good stuff including iron, potassium, fiber, vits. A, C, E, and B complex.

So yeah, even though you might feel like your grandma, next time you're at the store try grabbing a box of prunes and give 'em a try (assuming that you like prunes...you never know with you Smith girls)!

I do have a recipe for you ladies but as always, I'll post it in another link to keep this novel from getting any longer. This is a recipe starring one of my favorite veggies zucchini!

Now, last but not least, as promised in my title, here are some really bad jokes to brighten your day! Enjoy!!!

What do you get when you cross a cobra tamer and a playwright? William Snakespear.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frost bite.

Why did the man put cheese on his computer? He wanted to feed the mouse.

What kind of dog can jump higher than a building? Any dog. A building can't jump!