I really hate how I put off my need to blog. I have wanted to blog since the day after my last entry. As I eluded to in a comment for Nicole's recent entry, I am in a severe rut. I'm not sleeping well, exercising, or eating well. I'm also not progressing on my thesis like I should be. You would think I'd be enthused to be so close to the end but it's hard to be excited about something that I don't completely understand. I barely ran any of my analysis so writing a discussion has proved to be very tricky. I know I'll get it done but it irritates me that it won't be my best work.
I've been using food as a comfort measure. If I'm stressed out (which is my most common issue) I grab a Little Debbie snack, a push-up, or some other tasty treat to soothe myself. I hate to think what my weight is because I can certainly tell that I've gained over the last month. Some of my clothes are getting a little snug. I have great aspirations to exercise and even make plans to do so but never follow through. I've been extremely tired each morning so riding my bike with Gavin to school has not happened yet. I usually sleep as long as I can, which puts me behind schedule, so I don't use my bike at all. I typically feel tired and sluggish all day so the treadmill is only collecting dust, not mileage. I need to go to bed earlier, say 10pm. I'm also wondering if I'm getting appropriate sleep in terms of falling into deep REM sleep patterns. Or my B-12 levels could be low again.
I know that an increase in exercise and better food will help how I feel overall but I can't seem to flip the switch. I keep telling myself that things will be easier when my thesis is done and submitted but I also need to be realistic. As soon as my thesis is done I need to be searching for a job and also for a new place to live. It isn't like *poof* my stress will be gone. It's like we've said before...there is always something going on in our lives. There is never a great time to make a lifestyle change....there is always going to be something to make excuses about. I need to stop making excuses and just do what is right for me in terms of my health!
Just wanted to elaborate on the rut I've fallen into. Usually typing out my thoughts and feelings makes me feel a little better and helps me build up the motivation I need. Thanks for listening/reading!
2 comments:
Let it out Jenny!!! I'm sorry that you've been in a rut. I would love to offer you some powerful words of wisdom about the exercising, eating, thesis and life in general but I am not an expert at any of those things. It seems impossible right now when so much is going on but you can do it! Try getting back on track by do small things (you couldn't dive right into at the beginning so why do it now?). Try building up to where you want to be...start with food (it takes less energy, thought and planning than the exercising). Eat a veggie rich meal and get lots of water...that will most likely lead to higher energy (and take your damn B-12)!!!! Then add some light activity...just walk on the treadmill (it's better than nothing) or take a stroll around your block. You can do it lady, I have faith in you!!!
It's truly unfortunate that we're all in a similar place of ruttiness. I'm almost an opposite to your problem. I can sleep and sleep, I usually oversleep which leads to day-long blahness. Except today, I got to bed late and I was up early so I am of a normal drowsiness. I really hope you are up in Waukon a lot so that we can play tennis, maybe even run a bit. That way we are both increasing our physical activity and holding each other somewhat accountable, if you know what I mean. It's always easier to do something active when you have someone to do it with or talk to during it. I just hope that I don't fall into the summer laziness which is so attractive. I need to stay mentally and physically active. I prefer to be somewhat busy, plus I want to read a ton of books. By the way, we need to set up a couple days to spend with Grandma Stika so we can learn how to make kolaches and so on. Read your "Biggest Loser" calendar - there's your tip!! :)Pray for me as I drive a car load of boxes to Decorah and Waukon.
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