Last year on this weekend

I stepped on the scale and it read 344.8. Last year on this weekend I was already so depressed that while that number shocked me, it couldn't really depress me much more than I already was. Last year on this weekend, I thought there was no hope. I thought that I would be heavy my whole life. Last year on this weekend, I looked like this:





This weekend I stepped on the scale and it read 260.2 and I was elated. The number shocked me a little but I quickly recovered. This weekend I see a future with a thinner, healthier me. This weekend I feel that I will never be back to where I was ever again. This weekend I see hope for not just myself but for everyone who is currently or will ever struggle with weight loss. This weekend, I look like this:



I know I still have a really long way to go but I never thought I'd make it this far. I can't believe it's been a year already since I started my final weight loss attempt. There have certainly been ups and downs along the way but after a year I think I can handle the bumps and bruises as long as there are plenty of happy times in between!

Alright, I'm going to go take advantage of this beautiful weather and get some walking in. Have a great day and I hope you all enjoyed your Labor Day Weekend!

Produce and Anger

I have to say that creating titles for each entry is a challenge yet fun at times. You probably think I'm angry at cucumbers or something but I'm not. Gavin and I just finished watching a show about heroes on 9/11 and right when the show started I was filled an immense saddness and anger all at once. It's sad that I had forgotten (bad choice of word) about all the suffering and panic that day. I didn't actually forget but the strong emotions had faded. I constantly remember that the buildings aren't there anymore but the personal stories they shared made me think about the poor people on the planes, those that probably died immediately when the planes collided with the buildings, those that were trapped and had absolutely no way to get out, those that fell from the buildings or jumped, those trapped in stairwells, those that got out of the buildlings but died due to the collapses, those that got out and surived but live with that nightmare every day, and those that lost loved ones on the day. The crappy realization is that we have still have to live with worry and fear that another attack may take place on the country. It makes me worry and wonder about the world that Gavin will live in when he's an adult. I got really pissed thinking about those that planned the attack and acted. I know our country was pleased that Bin Laden was found and killed but who knows how many other people/countries hate the USA enough to cause terror.

So where were you when it happened? I remember finding out when I got to Gilman Hall for my chemistry lab. They closed down the building since part of it was considered to be a federal building. I hopped back on the bus and went back to my first apartment in Ames and immediately turned the on TV. The second plane had recently hit the second tower so it had sunk in that it wasn't an accident. I was staring at the TV when the south tower collapsed followed by the north tower. Gavin a lot of questions tonight because he had never sat down and watched the proper order of events before. I often forget that he was only 1 year old when this happened....it really puts the time line in perspective for me. I do hope to go back to NYC someday and hopefully there is a proper memorial site in place by then.

On a lighter note, we went to the Farmer's Market in Des Moines for the first time ever this weekend. The weather wasn't great but the rain showers weren't horrible. Jon had been to the market before so he had good suggestions for food. The breakfast sandwiches are supposed to be wonderful so I shared one with Gavin....by sharing I mean I had two bites and he had the rest. It was on a biscuit with ham, egg, and american cheese. I was fine with only two bites...it was really rich. (And I had forgotten to take my gallbladder meds so I didn't want to toy with my body.) We had also made plans to meet up with Tiffany and Gregg so I got to see pregnant Tiffany. She is now entering her third trimester. She looked really good.

I purchased a pierogie....well a so-called pierogie. In my opinion, pierogies are like a big ravioli typically stuffed with potatoes and other goodies. This pierogie was kind of a donut consistency. It reminded me of a bismark or long john filled with cheese, potato, and mushrooms. It wasn't horrible but I don't think I'd get one again. I also went to one of the natural smoothie venders and got my first taste of wheatgrass in a drink. It wasn't horrible. I'd get one again. I got the "Berry Beety" smoothie. It had blueberries, apple juice, beet juice, and wheatgrass in it. I could slightly taste the wheatgrass and really taste the beets. It was refreshing.

Even though I used the word produce in the title of this, I didn't actually buy any produce. I have stuff at home to use up and I didn't want to buy things I wouldn't use in a timely manner. It was neat seeing the variety of dogs out and about too. The local radio station (pop music) had a dance-off event too in the middle of things that was fun to watch since it was choreographed. After the market ended, we went to a local English pub and had some appetizers while catching up with Tiffany and Gregg. They've moved back from Maryland and are living in Tiffany's hometown by Iowa City. Gregg is job hunting...so is Tiffany even though she'll be having the baby in early December. She's done some substitute teaching. I actually hope we can go to the market again before it ends this fall and hopefully we can utilize it better next year. I haven't even gone to the market in Ames in years. When we were using WIC, we'd go a lot since I got vouchers for free produce. It would be cool to get some local produce or baked goods.

My back feels better! I've been doing my PT exercises and I think the realignment of my hips was really contributing to my discomfort. My back still isn't 100% but I've made great gains since Friday. I don't have to think so much and be on guard when walking around. I was in the habit lately of constantly being on guard in case my legs gave out. It's still difficult to get up out of bed and sometimes from a chair. But mentally...it's been wonderful to not have constant pain. I do not know how Jon did it when dealing with the pain prior to his knee surgery and after the surgery. My pain was really wearing on my sanity on some days and really affecting my moods. I felt more like myself in the past couple days. I was nervous about attending the ISU football game since the seats aren't great for posture or back health. I didn't have any pain while watching the game just some discomfort when navigating the stairs. I was actually shocked that we won the game. Both teams played poorly in my opinion and there were issues with sportsmanship. Sadly an ISU player was disqualified and removed from the game. I thought the ISU vs UNI game would be our only one this year but now I really want to attend another. I'm hoping to either attend the Kansas or Oklahoma State game. Both are in November since our schedules are rather busy in September and October. Yippee Football!

I hope everyone has a labor free day tomorrow. I'm planning to rearrange my bedroom so manual labor will exist but nothing related to my job. It works for me.

Doctor, Doctor!

Howdy:

I had a doctor's appointment and physical therapy appointment this morning and thanks to all of that I cannot concentrate at work. I've been here for 1.5 hours and haven't got much of anything accomplished. I decided to vent via blogging so maybe I can refocus myself afterwards and not completely waste the afternoon.

I saw a different doctor this morning and not the usual physician's assistant. I was actually happy to see someone different. Long story there...I won't get into it. The new doctor spoke to me for a little bit and based on my symptoms decided that I should start some physical therapy. Not only does he want the PT to help relieve my issues but my insurance requires I give it a go for a few weeks before they will pay for a CT or MRI. They had an opening for PT appointment later in the morning so I took it so I could get the process started pronto. My therapist (Jill) is so nice and was wonderful to work with.

The symptoms that have led me to go to the doctor recently are related to issues with my lower back. It's not a chronic pain. I haven't had pain today (until my back was manipulated during PT) and I had a pain free day yesterday. It seems to be hit or miss. My back issues have been scaring the hell of me to be frank. My back suddenly just gives with no warning. I can be on stairs or on a flat surface. Sometimes the "giving out" is accompanied with severe pain or sometimes it just causes sudden weakness or numbness in my lower extremities. It's really not cool. Not only does it hurt but it's embarrassing because I've fallen down due to it. It's also contributing to my sleep issues because I'll roll over in the middle of the night and trigger that pain and it disrupts my sleeping patterns.

I did an assessment with the physical therapist and got some more information about my body that I don't care for:

-- one of my legs is longer than the other (may be due to my spine or hip displacement)

--my hips are not aligned properly (not sure if they caused back problems or if back problems caused the poor alignment)

--my reflexes on my right side (below the waist) are poor or not existent. She whacked away with her little hammer on things and my body wasn't responding.

--my pain response on that same side is poor too. I didn't feel them poking me or sticking me.

--I have horrible spasms and tension in my lower back. She couldn't work through it to find important landmarks. She was stunned that I was living with that discomfort. Well it's not really discomforting to me. I can't tell that I have that tension. She said a typical person would be in constant pain that would prevent proper walking and function. Apparently my threshold for pain is high or I've adapted to the issue.

She realigned my hips and used electrodes to try and ease that tension in my back. Sadly I think I'm back to point A though. It worked for a bit but not long term. I have some simple exercises/stretches to do at home. I've been doing some of them already but I'm hoping the addition of others will prevent my back from giving out. I really need to work on my core muscles so my back is stabilized from the front. I have a horrible imbalance due to my craptastic hamstrings and lack of core strength.

They are trying to expedite the MRI because she does think there are disc issues and she doesn't want physical therapy to irritate anything. I wish insurance wasn't such a bastard. I'm grateful to have it but the politics behind it are frustrating.

I've very down lately and I'm very pissed at myself today. I've had an attitude for years that almost allowed me to condone being overweight because I didn't see it adversely affecting my health. It may not be entirely the fault of my weight status but my weight isn't helping the matter. If I didn't have an extra 100 lbs compressing my lower discs, I'm sure they'd be much happier. I'm feeling very discouraged but my appointment with the physical therapist did provide some hope and motivation. I do have strength to work with...I'm not having to start at the drawing board in regards to preparing my body to fix my back. Even when I lose my weight, I may have constantly reminders of the harm I've caused. My back may improve and get better but it's never going to be 100% again. It's so disappointing. I want to be spry and active until I'm 113 and back issues won't help with that.

Venting complete!

50010 Update

Howdy all:

Well I got one line written last night before I lost my uumph and retired for the night. Hopefully I can include more info tonight or actually finish the blog entry.

I'm pleased to say that the semester has started nicely. I've settled into my schedule. It's stressful teaching all my classes in one day but at the same token it's nice to have a lot of freedom on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I'm getting so much prep work done on those days and have been steadily working through my tasks on my whiteboard. Swim & Gym starts on September 13 so that will make Tuesdays and Thursdays busier but I've gotten a lot of the "before" work done. My employees are hired (background checks currently taking place) and plenty of advertising was initated weeks ago. I've also decided to promote a really strong PE major to be my "assistant" for the program. She's competent and I'll more comfortable leaving the gym if I know she's got everything under control.

I've slipped back into the groove and I'm not prioritizing my physical activity. I'm sitting on my butt a lot in my office at work. We actually have a treadmill set up in the mailroom if you want to walk while checking emails and working on a computer. I've signed up for it but haven't used it yet. I'm hoping I can sneak away and use it tomorrow. I've also been more impulsive with my eating too. I get a food in my head toward the end of the day and fixate on eating for a meal. It's typically not a healthy food either. I'm also snacking late at night too. Bleh. So many bad habits to fix! I really desire to start planning out menus for the week so my dinners (or even lunches) are pre-planned and more nutritous.

I'm hopeful for a doctor appointment I have on Friday for my back. I went in earlier this week and my back was fine that day. I had no pain and passed the movement tests with flying colors. I'm seeing a different doctor and sadly I hope I have a little pain on Friday so the doc can see my movement issues. I'm also hoping for some x-rays because I'm curious to see what's going on with my discs.

The first weeks of 6th grade have been interesting for Gavin and me. He's gotten a rude awakening in regards to homework and expectations. I've been frustrated because I want him taking his time and doing his work well. In my opinion, he rushes to get his work done. We had a unpleasant experience last night because I checked Gavin's math homework and found every problem to be done incorrectly. He's often reluctant to let me look things over and he gave that same attitude last night. I'm glad I was forceful because I'm sure it would shock him when he got his grade. He's going to quickly realize that doing things too quickly is going to affect his letter grade in math. The grading in 5th grade was pretty gentle and the transition to regular grading has been fast and furious. I'm also learning a lot about 6th grade math...years of statistics and a semester of college alegebra and I felt stupid when reviewing prime numbers and factors.

The upcoming months are busier than I'd like at times and my weekends are especially hectic. We are going to Illinois on September 16 to camp and attend a basset hound rescue fundraiser. They have a parade on the 18th that features over 1000 basset hounds. It will be fun to walk in with Jon's dog Memphis (she's a rescue basset hound).

I have professional development the first weekend of October (blah) in Cedar Rapids and we are going to Chicago for a hockey game on the 15th of October. I was telling LeAnn that I miss having consistent low key weekends but at the same time it's nice to get out and about to have fun.

It's been easier on some days to wake up early. Gavin is waking up at 6:45am to get ready for the bus and leaves the apartment at 7:15am. Around that time I'm finally stumbling around and getting my day started. It's been nice leaving the apartment before 8am because I'm getting errands done and more accomplished at work. I've actually been staying later at work too. Most days have been 8am-4pm if not 5pm. I know this shouldn't be a shocking announcement but I used to come to work late or leave early and try to do work at home. Bring work home sucks. I'm really trying to avoid it. I barely have my computer on at home and I love it. It's been nice to relax, help Gavin with homework, clean, etc. I should be exercising too.

Okay, that's enough for now!

I got my dress!!!

Here it is. It's too long and needs to be taken in in the bust but other than that it's perfect!!

Without flash...I was apparently doing something funny with my arms. I look like I'm flapping...



With flash. I think the color is more close to accurate in this one.



PLEASE HURRY AND GET HERE OCTOBER!!!

Recipe: thyme, pineapple and pork chop skillet

I recently decided to subscribe to Eating Well. I've been using the website for a while and thought it would be fun to start getting a magazine in the mail. There are lots of really good recipes in the the first issue I got and here is the first one that I'll share with you. I made this a while ago and can't wait to make it again. It calls for pork chops but I bet you could easily make it with chicken breast too and have a delicious meal. It was super easy and quick to make, inexpensive and really really good!

You will need:
3 Tbs. pineapple or apricot preserves (or orange marmalade)
3 Tbs. orange juice, plus more if needed
2 tsp. Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp. fresh ground ginger (it's cheaper and better than the dried)
1/2 tsp. curry powder
4 pineapple rings, plus 1/3 c. juice (add orange juice to equal 1/3 c. if you need)
2 tsp. butter
4 boneless pork loin chops, 1/2 inch thick
1 tbs. dried thyme leaves
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. black pepper

1. Combine preserves, orange juice, mustard, ginger and curry powder in a small bowl; set aside.

2. Heat butter in non-stick skillet over medium-high heat. Add pork chops, sprinkle with 1/2 Tbs. thyme and the salt and pepper. Turn immediately. Cook until the chops until browned (a few minutes on each side, 4-5 minutes total).

3. Add the pineapple juice to the pan and reduce the heat to medium. Cook until the the chops are cooked through (3 more minutes). Transfer to a plate.

4. Add pineapple, the reserved sauce and the remaining 1/2 Tbs. thyme to the pan. Cook, stirring until hot and bubbling. Add chops back in and cook for a few minutes longer, turning to coat. Serve each chop with 1 ring of pineapple and sauce spooned over.

New things...

First, we have a new baby in the family. My step-sister (on my dad's side) Crystal an her husband had their first baby. Logan Charles was born, via c-section yesterday morning. I don't know many of the specifics but I do know that mom and baby are both doing well.

Also, I got me new green coat in the mail and I love it. I took some really bad self-portraits so I could show you. I apologize for the weird pose (I'm terrible at self-portraits) and my dirty mirror. How come you never realize how dirty a mirror is until you see it in a picture?!?! Anyway, here it is. I really really like it and I'm happy to report that almost all of my scarves go well with it...yay!