Hello all! I think the last time I blogged I mentioned that I had a more spiritual topic in mind for an entry. Well, today is your lucky day, I am going to be talking about Ecclesiastes!!! I can just feel the excitement!
About three weeks ago I had a minor breakdown that lead to a rather emotional blog. I know this is all part of the healing process so I'm OK with that. I've always been taught that when you're having a difficult time that you should turn to your friends and family for comfort, which I did, and they all came through for me...which they always do. However, over the years I have developed a very strong connection to my faith, which I don't think people always realize when they meet me. I often times don't fit the profile of a deeply rooted Christian because of certain social beliefs that I hold but I find that my religion is a core component of the person I am and the person I wish to become.
Over the years I've heard countless stories of people who have had personal and deeply spiritually moments in their lives when they knew that God was not only listening to their prayers but also guiding them to find what He wanted, whether it be a certain path in life, comfort, guidance, motivation, acceptance etc. The day that I blogged I was having a really hard time dealing with the emotions surrounding my mom's death. I did a lot of praying that day for acceptance and understanding and in the event that that was not to come for peace and comfort from the pain. In the spirit of full disclosure, I do not just sit and read from my Bible often, I know I should do more Bible study but I just haven't done that. However, since my mom's passing I have devoted more time to this. Anyway, that night I prayed, even before opening my Bible that God would lead me to a passage that would help me to come to terms with what was happening in my life. After praying, I picked up my Bible, closed my eyes, slid my hand up the side and randomly opened it to Ecclesiastes, chapter 3. I've heard this passage, in some form or another, probably 1000 times in my life. When I was in 8th grade my solo contest solo was based on this scripture. There was even a hit song in the 60's taken entirely from this chapter, you know the one (Turn, Turn, Turn)! How was it that I have lived my whole life knowing the words to this passage and have yet never stopped to think about the meaning?!?!?
When I first read through this passage it was with haste and a bit of confusion. I knew this passage and didn't understand why this is where I was directed. Everybody who's ever gone to Sunday school or who owns a radio knows:
To Everything there is a season and a time to every purpose
2 He sets the time for birth and the time for death,
the time for planting and the time for pulling up,
3 the time for killing and the time for healing,
the time for tearing down and the time for building.
4 He sets the time for sorrow and the time for joy,
the time for mourning and the time for dancing,
5 the time for making love and the time for not making love,
the time for kissing and the time for not kissing.
6 He sets the time for finding and the time for losing,
the time for saving and the time for throwing away,
7 the time for tearing and the time for mending,
the time for silence and the time for talk.
8 He sets the time for love and the time for hate,
the time for war and the time for peace.
As I read and reread this passage, I started to focus on different verses. Initially I was focusing on verse 2. There is a time for birth and a time for death, a time for planting and pulling. I get that, we come and then we go. This is just a fact of life, a fact of life that I know far to well. Merely stating that there is a time for death doesn't make the death of a beloved mother any less painful. But then, I started to read this passage and think not about how it pertains to my mom but how it pertains to me. There is a time for sorrow (which happens to be right now) but there is also a time for joy (which I had and will have again). Right now is my time for mourning but there will come again a day when I feel like dancing! My time for war is right now, and I'm not talking about the war where one needs long range missiles, hand grenades and armored tanks to survive. It's more of a war within myself as I try to accept everything and move on. As the war dies down it will once again lead to peace. Suddenly, I not only saw more meaning in this passage than I ever had, but more importantly, it was helping me cope.
I then took the time to read more slowly and more thoughtfully the rest of this chapter (yes, there is more than The Byrds let on). In the remaining paragraph of chapter 3 I found even more words of comfort:
9 What do we gain from all our work? 10 I know the heavy burdens that God has laid on us. 11 He has set the right time for everything. He has given us a desire to know the future, but never gives us the satisfaction of fully understanding what he does.12 So I realized that all we can do is be happy and do the best we can while we are still alive. 13 All of us should eat and drink and enjoy what we have worked for. It is God's gift.
As I read these words I felt even more connected to this scripture. In chapter 3 King Solomon writes 'I know the heavy burdens God has laid on us...He has given us a desire to know but never gives us the satisfaction of fully understanding what he does.' Oh my gosh...this is what I was feeling, exactly. Right there. I wanted to know why my mom was taken but I couldn't figure it out. I still don't understand but I think the point is that it's not for me to understand, at least not right now. Right now I just need to focus on my path and when it is time for me to know, I will.
Anyway, that's what I wanted to share with you all. I read through this passage a few times each week, normally right before bed and just cling to my belief that God is good and his timing is perfect. Each day gets a little bit easier and I know that she's watching over all of us as we continue to move on.
3 comments:
It is amazing that God led you to find that passage. There isn't a lot to say about this....you made excellent points within the blog and the chapter of the Bible speaks well for itself.
I'm very glad you turned to God during this difficult time. I often hear of people blaming God or diverting their anger toward God. Human emotions can make a person so irrational but you kept a handle on your faith and embraced it perfectly. You know your Mom is so relieved that you're finding comfort in the words of God.
Very glad you shared this with us!
When you said a spiritual topic, you indeed meant a spiritual topic. I'm not a religious person by definition, but I have my spiritual moments, if that makes any sense. Unfortunately, it's only during those major events of life that I pull myself back to spirituality. I agree with Jenny that it is wonderful that you found what you needed in the Bible and in God. I think there are some very powerful passages throughout the Bible. I think you found one of those powerhouses. We all take meaning from biblical passages, often different meaning. I'm glad you found meaning in a way that gave you peace and understanding. It's is somewhat interesting how we all cope. My method of coping is when I write rather than read. It's possible that may help you too. Instead of reading, maybe writing feelings and thoughts down would help. I don't mean the blog; I mean a private notebook or whatnot. Just a thought. Thanks for the share.
P.S. My word verification is ... barines.
LeAnn...I have been writing too. I rarely keep a journal because I don't have the motivation but I have been writing quite a bit since Mom passed. I don't know that I will ever share it, maybe with the right person but it has been very cathartic as well.
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