Hello ladies. It's been a while since I've posted on here so you'll have to forgive me if I'm a little bit rusty. It's been over a month since my last post and I'm not going to lie, back on June 1st I would not have even been able to imagine the changes that would take place in my life before I logged on and wrote again.
The biggest and most life altering change that has ever happened was the loss of my mother. I know that you ladies never had the opportunity to meet my mom but she was an amazing lady. If I am some day 1/3 of the wife, mother, grandmother, sister and woman that she was I will be lucky. My mom was not perfect, nobody is, but she was unwavering in her kindness and willingness to accept people for who and what they were. I learned so much from her and I truly am the person that you know (and hopefully love) because of what she taught me. I know that I'm going to be sad and hurting and angry and lost for a long time but I have so many wonderful friends and family members that I know I will get through this. Not to mention, I know my mom is watching over me. I don't know what your personal beliefs are on spirits and the like but I had an encounter when I was home the day after the funeral and I know that she's still with me. Anyway, I know that it's going to take a lot of time but it will get better.
One of the lessons that my mom taught me is that crappy things happen and they don't just happen to bad people. However, there are always good things going on in our lives. While it's been a little difficult to see these things with the death of my mom and then my grandma falling and breaking her hip and then my car being stolen (I really think I deserve a pity part or a least a very large margarita)I am trying to make a concerted effort to find some happiness, the silver lining if you will. So, here is what I have come up with:
-it is more apparent now than it has ever been that I have the most wonderful family that anybody could ever wish to have. I don't know what I would do without Karla, Cody, Tasha, my Dad, Bob, all of my other siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, nieces, nephews etc. I am so blessed.
-it is more apparent now that it has ever been that I have the most amazing friends a girl could ever ask for. Even though they knew I couldn't spend a lot of time with them and that I would be pulled in the family direction everyone was there for me. Even though they probably didn't have the time or the money for the road trip everyone was there and some gave more than they probably could (I'm looking at you Jenny) and I will NEVER forget that.
-while I loved my purple car I do like that fact that I will no longer have a car payment and that the car my sister is giving me is newer, lower mileage, arguable cooler, has A/C and a CD player that works.
-when I left home I was sad because on top of everything else I wasn't going to be home and see anybody until Christmas and I wouldn't be seeing my brother Dean until he returned from Afghanistan...now, I get to go home for the weekend and I get to attend Dean's going away/Mom's 50th birthday celebration at the farm. When I talked to Bob he said he was so sad that I couldn't make it to the party this weekend and now I get to so he's going to say a thank you prayer to God tonight for having my car stolen.
-I have never been more motivated to get my weight under control. First, if I do have children I do not want them to have to go through the pain of losing their mother at a young age. I know what it feels like and I will do everything in my power to not let that happen. Also, Justin has decided to propose to Karla on her birthday and that means they will be getting married in October of 2011 (she doesn't know so don't say anything). I am not walking down the aisle at 300+ pounds so I need to get my butt in gear if I want to be a hot maid of honor! Also, and I know it's not healthy but, I can't really eat right now because I have this nauseated feeling ALL THE TIME. I figure I might as well take advantage while it lasts and work on really healthy eating habits as my appetite comes back.
I guess lastly I want to talk about some music. I haven't been doing much reading lately with everything going on but the long car rides have afforded me ample time to listen to some music. There are some songs right now on the country stations (I've been in a country phase) that are speaking to me especially 'The House that Built Me' by Miranda Lambert and 'If I Die Young' by The Band Perry. Not only do the vocalists have amazing voices that I find easy to sing along with their songs have such strong ties to my life right now. Regardless of how you feel about country I think you'd like these songs so you should give them a listen. I need Kleenex when I listen to them right now but I'm guessing you ladies won't have that same issue. Anyway, that's my plug.
Sorry that I was MIA for so long and once I'm back in Michigan after the weekend I plan to be better.
2 comments:
Wow, that's quite a blog, but I've been anxious for it. I think it's really hard to predict the future or plan ahead, especially long term, because things can change drastically, as you have unfortunately found out. A year ago there was no way for me to predict where I'd get a job, where I'd live, etc. I think Jenny and I get a small picture of what your mother meant to you, just with the recent death of our grandmother. She was quite the lady, something to aspire to, which the feeling I get about your mother. It's good to hear that your family and friends were so supportive. They say bad things happen in threes, so hopefully, you're done. You are a much better person to be making lemonade out of lemons, because I'm pretty sure I'd be having a major pity party.
Death always seems to inspire those left to self reflect on themselves - spiritually and physically. I think it's good you have even more motivation for becoming healthy . . . I hope your appetite comes back. It sounds like there are a few good things coming your way with the car and weekend get together. I think karma-wise you are due to win the lottery. Glad you're back. :-)
I am so happy to see that you've blogged!!! I didn't know when to expect an entry from you. I hope that blogging continues to be an outlet for you so you can vent or express the many thoughts that have to be going through your head considering all the change in your life.
I'm unhappy that your car is stolen but happy that you get another trip home. The more time with family the better. I'm thankful for the close knit family you have and great number of friends in your life.
What kind of car are you getting from Karla?
I had a feeling your appetite might still be "off" but I'm glad you're thinking about healthy changes even though food isn't a big priority yet.
Take care....hope you have a safe trip to and from Iowa.
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